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Original poster

Would you break up with someone for being a bad kisser

51 replies

Russiandoll124 · 15/03/2018 18:19

I’ve started seeing a man. He’s everything I like: kind, intelligent, creative, funny. But we kissed for the first time last week and it was really not that nice Sad... very (too) enthusiastic and very very wet... I had to wipe my face afterwards. I’m so sad about it, I really, really like him but I’m not looking forward to any more kissing.

What would you do? Is it one of those things you could tolerate if the man was great in every other way? Is it a very petty thing to break up with someone over?!

OP posts:
SmashedMug · 15/03/2018 18:23

Train him up the way you like it.

OutyMcOutface · 15/03/2018 18:24

Nope. My DH is not brilliant (his younger is freakishly short). Glad that I stuck with him though.,

Original poster
Russiandoll124 · 15/03/2018 18:25

SmashedMug - how do you mean? As in tell him I don’t like it and then tell him how I do like it? Surely that would hurt his feelings?

OP posts:
QuietWalking · 15/03/2018 18:25

You say all those things but I suspect you never really liked him. Stop making excuses.

Minestheoneinthegreen · 15/03/2018 18:26

Could not put up with that. Not petty at all.

Original poster
Russiandoll124 · 15/03/2018 18:26

No I do really like him! Why would I lie about that?

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 15/03/2018 18:26

What a bizarre response quiet

SmashedMug · 15/03/2018 18:27

Worth risking hurting his feelings if it sorts it out. You might as well try before going straigh to breaking up.

ConkerGame · 15/03/2018 18:29

This happened to me and I tried to train the guy but it didn’t really work! I just explained I liked a bit of tongue action when kissing as it felt more passionate to me - to be fair he then did have a go at it but was sort of poking his tongue in randomly every so often rather than doing it sensually :-(

In the end I gave up but he was also not good in bed though so that was the last straw for me!

VladmirsPoutine · 15/03/2018 18:29

Just tell him how you like it. Demonstrate it if you will. If this has the potential to turn into anything significant then you don't want to be avoiding kisses as that will most definitely hurt his feelings rather than saying "Bob, I like to be kissed like xyz" [demonstration included].

Original poster
Russiandoll124 · 15/03/2018 18:29

We haven’t had sex yet. That could be the decider either way perhaps

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 15/03/2018 18:31

A guy I saw a few times used to be a bit enthusiastic and go 'mmmmmm' every time he kissed me, really offputting so I feel your pain

Fibbertigibbet · 15/03/2018 18:31

Tell him what you like, and if he doesn't listen or isn't amiable, then the sex will likely be the same. I wouldn't dump a bad kisser, just someone who didn't listen when I said how I liked to be kissed!

KinkyAfro · 15/03/2018 18:32

And I mean he made the mmmmmmm noise whilst he was lashing at me with his tongue

Purplerain101 · 15/03/2018 18:33

It would be massively disappointing to me if someone I really liked was a terrible kisser. My OH is the best kisser and it drives me wild. I had an ex who was overly slobbery and it used to gross me out a bit. I’d often try to hint to him to slow down etc but he never listened and it just got worse. The sex wasn’t good either

Original poster
Russiandoll124 · 15/03/2018 18:33

KinkyAfro sorry but that really made me laugh Grin

OP posts:
nothanksbyenow · 15/03/2018 18:34

Honestly, I once had an end of date first kiss and it was like you described, wet and a bit too furious.. (not in a forceful way, just over enthusiastic). There was no second date.

bobstersmum · 15/03/2018 18:37

Hmmm, you may find he's a bit sloppy in the bedroom too, only one way to find out! I wouldn't like a sloppy kisser, yanbu.

yummycake123 · 15/03/2018 18:38

I know how you feel because it happened to me once.
Tell him, but not in a "I hate how you kiss/Yuck!" offensive way. You can say something like "I prefer slow, gentle kissing, like this..." and show him.
Hopefully he gets it?

Rossiebrown · 15/03/2018 18:40

Don't think its a goer OP. You can train someone on technique but not sure about the "wetness" though.

Original poster
Russiandoll124 · 15/03/2018 18:40

I’m trying to imagine what you mean by ‘sloppy in the bedroom’ as in not very meticulous or... messy? Wet? 😧

OP posts:
WhollyFather · 15/03/2018 18:42

'Train him up' sounds a bit harsh but that's what's needed. At least try. How come nobody has ever told him before?

Be diplomatic - offer advice and guidance rather than criticism - but don't be overly concerned about his feelings. If he listens and improves, he'll be grateful to you for improving his technique. If he takes umbrage at what is basically you trying to help him please you, that's probably a bit of a red flag anyway, so....

ohamIreally · 15/03/2018 18:44

Yes I would and have. I was quite sad as I liked him. I'm now dating a guy who gave me an amazing end of first date kiss, gentle but firm and not wet just before I got on the tube and it drove me wild.

mintbiscuit · 15/03/2018 18:49

Deal breaker for me I’m afraid. Usually bad kisser = similar performance in bed.

NorthernKnickers · 15/03/2018 18:49

@KinkyAfro that really made me laugh...the 'mmmmmmm' 😂😂 Agree...would be very off-putting!!

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