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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lazy family or AIBU!?

5 replies

NoneOfYourShenanigans · 15/03/2018 14:36

So, every mothers day we invite all the family round for a big dinner (usually at least ten of us) so that my DH can spoil both of the mothers in his life, me and MIL. This means that BIL, SIL and kids are invited along too so that MIL can spend time with all her family together. My DH is wonderful and he does all the cooking so that both I, his mum and SIL can put our feet up. He does, however, use every pan in the kitchen and, after a big, delicious, three course dinner, I can see that nobody is thinking of helping DH with the clearing up. Obviously I don’t expect the mums to help as it’s mothers day (reverse this for fathers day) but I thought the respective partners, BIL and FIL might give my husband a little hand. But no, it seems not, so I step up and crack on with washing all the dishes as I don’t think it’s fair that DH has to do any more work. Now, I would never expect anyone to help when we have friends over for a dinner party in the evening as that seems different but AIBU to expect mothers, fathers day and Christmas day to be slightly different and for people to get off their lazy butts and lend a hand? I am happy to be told I’m BU as the way it stands currently I feel a bit upset that everyone is content to be waited on hand and foot on these occasions and I feel like just not bothering in future!

OP posts:
WhyBeDennyDifferent · 15/03/2018 14:38

What happens when you ask them to help in the clearing/washing up?

MereDintofPandiculation · 15/03/2018 14:39

YANBU. Family muck in. And merely collecting another dining chair from a different room does not count.

FinallyHere · 15/03/2018 14:41

Perhaps the time to mention it would be when you invite them, if you ever invite them again. Be quite clear upfront we were thinking of hosting Mother's Day DH will Cook who is going to offer to wash and tidy up afterwards. Would you rather all go out together ? So you are clear about what is expected and people can choose.

Confusedbeetle · 15/03/2018 14:44

I would make light of it. After the meal get up, Can you all just give me a hand to get this washing up out of the way, as pleasantly as you can muster

SillyLittleBiscuit · 15/03/2018 14:47

Go out for dinner next year?

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