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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fuming about glitter.

21 replies

Glitterfume · 15/03/2018 11:23

Girls at dds school have this stupid 'tradition' of buying huge tubs of glitter and chucking it over the birthday teen.

Dd has sen and hates this.

The last time it was someone's birthday they also chucked some on dd. She was upset about it and we were getting glitter up for weeks. It was on everything. We even had it in the dogs eye which has I was very cross about.

Today is dds birthday and she has asked them for two weeks not to glitter her. They have of course ignored this. She has messaged me really upset saying it's on her clothes, her face, a LOT in her hair, in her bag, in her hands, everywhere.

Aibu to be really pissed off.
A it takes months to get it off clothes and items and the carpets.
B. It can bloody blind you and dd currently has a whole tub on her face.

So would you be cross and would you do anything about it?

OP posts:

Idontdowindows · 15/03/2018 11:26

Yes I would be cross and yes I would do something about it.

Glitter is dangerous. Ignoring someone's wishes about what they have done to them is abhorrent.

Itsseweasy · 15/03/2018 11:30

How have the school not banned this practice? Presumably they aren’t thrilled about it being trailed all over the school?
Your poor DD, I would be fuming.

Original poster

Glitterfume · 15/03/2018 11:39

I don't know what school are doing about it. I know a teacher noticed last time and commented about dd looking 'pretty' because she had purple glitter everywhere but nothing was done.

I'm debating emailing them. I'm super annoyed tbh.

OP posts:

UpstartCrow · 15/03/2018 11:40

If she asked them not to do it and they ignored her, its bullying.

Idontdowindows · 15/03/2018 11:41

Don't email, make an appointment and discuss this with the relevant people there. The people who make the rules and policies.

Glitter can cause very real harm and worst case scenario someone could lose an eye.

FlouncyDoves · 15/03/2018 11:42

Bullying. Lol

happyvalley74 · 15/03/2018 11:44

I'm surprised the school allows this, it must make a hell of a mess.

Email first and ask them if they're aware of the practice. Then go from there.

UpstartCrow · 15/03/2018 11:44

OP's daughter has sen.

Beenherebefore · 15/03/2018 11:47

I'd be really upset about that.

I'd be upset if my DD didn't have SEN and I'd be upset if she hadn't asked them not to.

The fact that she does have SENs and she asked them not to - yeah that's an email asking for a meeting with the school.

steppemum · 15/03/2018 11:48

this is a hard one.

I really feel for your dd as she hates it, and it is such a pain to get rid of, and she expressly asked them not to do it.

On the other hand, I wonder if the girls felt that they would be 'leaving her out' or being mean if they didn't do to her what they do to all the other girls. That thing of 'oh she doesn't really mean it, she'll be upset if we don't celebrate her birthday'

I think the key for me would be if these girls are actually her friends and they got it wrong, mis read the situation and went ahead anyway thinking it would be fun on the day.

They are teenagers, who are not great at pitching it right all the time, and may be mortified to realise they got it so wrong with your dd.

Or if these girls are just the ones in the class who do all the 'funny' stuff without reference to the actual perosn they are doing it to, if you see what I mean. Or even did it on purpose, knowing that your dd doesn't like it.
I guess I would want to know the motivation of it first.

I would email school, but when you have calmed down. It is, on the surface an innocent enough tradition, and it is nice for the kids to develop traditions. But in this case, it is backfiring, so ask the school to have a word with the girls, to explain that not everyone likes it, that they need to tone it down and learn to LISTEN to each other, and not do this to someone who doesn't want it.

Original poster

Glitterfume · 15/03/2018 11:51

I'm not accusing them of being bullies Flouncy. These girls are meant to be her friends. Well I say that but one of them has today moaned about giving dd a present (which she didn't ask for) due to the present dd got her (a nice notebook and fancy pens) not being enough apparently in the month work had laid me off unexpectedly!

That said I am constantly surprised at the rubbish we expect our kids to put up with.
If I asked my colleague not to pour something on me at work and they did I would be pretty pissed tbh.

OP posts:

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 15/03/2018 11:59

I'm amazed the school allows this?!

BevBrook · 15/03/2018 12:02

Glitter is also bad for the environment, and some nurseries/ schools have banned it. I thought that was what you were going to be fuming about (either pro or anti) before I opened the thread, but it might be worth mentioning to the school, if they are doing anything about plastic in rivers/oceans etc being A Bad Thing - this is contributing to it.

Original poster

Glitterfume · 15/03/2018 12:04

I don't think they do necessarily allow it. More no one has complained to a teacher about it and the teacher on spotting a teen full of glitter has just taken it as teen stupidity.

OP posts:

RideOn · 15/03/2018 12:09

I know this is not going to stop it in future but as parent of a "crafter"

medical tape to get bits of face
hoover her before she gets in the door
old playdoh to get bits out of zips/stuck in crevices
hairspray on glitter seems to stick to it and make it wash out more easily eg from clothes - then in washing machine. or those fluff rollers (cant remember proper name) they are good for removing glitter from clothes/surfaces
conditioner or hair oil to get it to slide out of hair

RideOn · 15/03/2018 12:11

lint roller

Original poster

Glitterfume · 15/03/2018 12:11

Thank you rideon. Will definitely that tonight.

OP posts:

Original poster

Glitterfume · 15/03/2018 12:11

*try

OP posts:

ArcheryAnnie · 15/03/2018 12:33

I bet you will get a reply from the school along the lines of "it's just glitter and a bit of fun", but the wider question is one of bodily autonomy. Your DD specifically requested that other pupils didn't do something to her body (cover her with a ton of glitter) that she didn't want, and they went ahead and did it anyway. Girls are allowed to have boundaries, and to complain when those boundaries are ignored, and so yes, I'd email the school about this.

(If you want to be especially pointed about it, you could remind the school that glitter is a microplastic and they shouldn't be using it anyway...)

Knittedfairies · 15/03/2018 12:37

Perhaps you could point out to the school that throwing glitter could have serious consequences and that they should ban it on health and safety grounds. Like someone upthread I'm surprised they allow it.

www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/news/a56476/woman-loses-eye-from-glitter/

Morphene · 15/03/2018 12:40

That's total shit. Make appointment with school to discuss.

Also tell you DD to spread the word about how glitter is just another form of plastic that end up in the ecosystem/ocean...ask her to see if her friends remember who sad blue planet made them feel and whether they really want to continue compounding the problem.

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