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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Spending £32.99 on my boys new trainers?

103 replies

LiveLoveLaugh87 · 15/03/2018 10:00

So was chatting with my MIL last night, sent her a pic of some trainers I ordered for my little boys. Stupidly the price was on there 32.99 (2 pairs at that price, and a pair for £21 for my youngest) her response was ‘bloody hell love they’re expensive, that’s a bit much to be spending on trainers isn’t it? I’m sure you could’ve found something much cheaper!’

I felt pretty insulted by this and laid in bed last night justifying it to myself, the boys desperately need new trainers as there’s are bordering to small now, and they are the only other shoes they have other than their school shoes, they should hopefully see them through the summer at least. I work hard and earn my own money, we don’t live a luxury lifestyle and aren’t in a position to splash the cash on unnecessary items as she well knows, I see spending a little more as an investment in what will hopefully be a decent pair of trainers that I’m not going to be replacing a month down the line. They were only from Sports Direct, and these days I’d say £30 for a pair of trainers is pretty cheap.

I really wish she would think before opening her opinionated mouth sometimes!! Have I spent too much? Is it excessive? What would other people spend on trainers/shoes? TIA

OP posts:

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 15/03/2018 10:37

If it's not her money it's none of her business. That's not ridiculously expensive, easily possible to spend double.

We have to buy all weather hiking trainers for one of our DC because he destroys shoes. I could ban him from climbing trees and playing football on wet grass/ mud/ snow and generally being outdoors doing things that aren't good for shoes, but I think that would be terrible parenting. I could insist 9n constantly changing shoes between activity, from wellies to trainers to football boots back to wellies, but I don't want to make him stop and come in as he might then just decide to settle down and play X box instead of going back out. I'm incredibly happy he plays like that, so we buy him expensive tough shoes. Ordinary trainers, branded or cheap, are destroyed within a day or two. My other two kids aren't as rough on shoes so don't need the really hard wearing all purpose expensive ones.

Nobody else's problem.

wildduckhunt · 15/03/2018 10:38

Yeah stop discussing purchases with her. That's just how much trainers cost, unless you're happy with supermarket ones. Clarks trainers don't cost much less than a pair of branded ones from Schuh, and if you can't get to a discount outlet that's just how much they tend to be.

Withhindsight · 15/03/2018 10:39

She's out of touch, next time you see her, say the kids feet have grown and need measuring again and take her with you all - if she doesn't look at the shoes, pick some out as possibly suitable and make sure she sees the prices.

soupforbrains · 15/03/2018 10:41

Personally I don't spend that much on trainers, but my DS is 10 and still growing rapidly, so the reason I don't spend more is because they don't need to last ages because he grows out of them so fast anyway.

Once his feet slow down a bit I'm sure I'll spend a bit more and around the price you mentioned seems quite reasonable. I will never be the sort who spends big bucks on trainers though (by which I mean £50 or more)

CurlyRover · 15/03/2018 10:43

We frequently spend around that much on 6 year old DSD, as does her Mum.

Don't take any notice of your Mum. We all spend different amounts on different things and we all have different budgets.

DullAndOld · 15/03/2018 10:43

" I will never be the sort who spends big bucks on trainers though (by which I mean £50 or more) "

right, well , good luck with that..:)

Shadow666 · 15/03/2018 10:43

I think people who don’t buy stuff for kids have no idea how expensive things are. Some people seem to think that kids clothes and shoes must be half the price of adult stuff.

ThoraCentisis · 15/03/2018 10:43

Why would you be insulted? You could spend less if you wanted to, shes not wrong.
If you don't agree, just say so. She's allowed to have a mild opinion and say things in conversation you know, even when she is an MIL!

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 10:46

of course you could have found something cheaper, but you get what you pay for. I would ask her why a responsible parent would put their children in inappropriate footwear, and what parent doesn't try to do the best for their kids? Did she reserve "luxuries" for herself and put her own kids in second-hand rags?

Very odd and selfish way of thinking from your MIL.

user1499333856 · 15/03/2018 10:48

Ah, you can't please all the people, all the time. And nor should you.

Forget about it but remember not to share that kind of detail again. Don't hand her the stick to beat you with.

ThoraCentisis · 15/03/2018 10:49

cheaper does not equal inappropriate, and spending more does not equal doing the best for your kids

Way to insult everyone who can't afford expensive shoes

Thistlebelle · 15/03/2018 10:49

I tend not to spend very much on my children’s clothes but I do spend money on their coats (Scottish a good warm, waterproof makes a huge difference to our daily happiness!) and footwear.

The quality of the shoes you buy for your children can have a lasting impact on their foot health.

Not that it is in the least your MIL’s business what you spend your money on.

Trinity66 · 15/03/2018 10:49

Seems reasonable to me, agree with a PP though, wait till they're teenagers!

OneMoreToFind · 15/03/2018 10:50

All I can say is spend what you can afford.

Yura · 15/03/2018 10:51

I spend easily that much for my 5 year old. cheap shoes are usually false economy as they fall apart quickly (plus mind has extremely narrow feet, so we need european brands - clarks etc are way to wide)

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 15/03/2018 10:53

Buy what makes you happy.

All the time I can get away with my boys liking cheaper trainers I will do it. Particular favourite are Nerf ones. They can kill trainers in record time. I have been given branded trainers by a mum at school (who has more money than sense) when her son has decided he liked them but when they arrive he's gone off the colour. They still kill them as quickly.

PonderLand · 15/03/2018 10:54

That's not expensive at all. My toddlers shoes just costed me £30 and he'll probably outgrow them quicker than your boys.

Blinkyblink · 15/03/2018 10:55

She expressed an opinion.

Notnone you or indeed I agree with but seriously let it go. She’s entitled to express an opinion and she did it in a forthright manner but no abuse or name calling. Let it go.

CoolCarrie · 15/03/2018 10:55

She is out of touch, just like my mil so we don’t share much information due to mil’s constant “How Much”? comments.
£30 for children’s shoes is not expensive, you are not in the wrong here, don’t let her get to you.

Kaykay06 · 15/03/2018 10:56

Older people often have differing ideas on these things, my mum is horrendously tight and miserly with things. but honestly I just wouldn’t mention how much anything I buy costs to anyone as it’s none of their business. So no need to justify yourself or get all uptight, you’ve made a decision to purchase shoes which you feel will last, end of story. I have 4 Boys and they are similar one pair of school shoes and a pair of trainers they don’t need much more tbh.

firawla · 15/03/2018 10:59

Such a weird reaction from your mil as 30 quid seems like a very normal average trainers price!

BattleaxeGalactica · 15/03/2018 11:00

Nothing to to with her but put it down to experience and don't give her the chance to open her trap next time.

FWIW I thought I was being clever buying ds cheap school shoes at one point. He wore through them in less than half a term so it was back to the pricy ones after that. Always took him nearly a school year to flog those to death

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 11:01

Way to insult everyone who can't afford expensive shoes
I don't care what people buy, that's just what i would have replied to someone making rude comments about my kids shoes. £33 for a pair of trainers is nothing nowadays (unfortunately)

BakerBear · 15/03/2018 11:02

Dd who is 5 has school shoes at £55 each, boots at £70 a pair in winter.

£33 for a pair of trainers is cheap!

Original poster

LiveLoveLaugh87 · 15/03/2018 11:03

Tbh I get it a lot off of my MIL, she was here Saturday when my online shopping came so I got home from work to a lecture about how much I’d spent and how much there was (we do fortnightly online shops, this one came to 190) which again I think was reasonable for a family of 5. When I moved in my new house and she saw the wallpaper in my hallway she said ‘that’s lovely but I hate to think how much you’ve spent on that’ she was floored when I told her it was £8 a roll off of eBay. She walked out on her husband and kids when my OH was 5 and moved half way across the country with the guy she’d been having an affair with, so perhaps it comes down to her not really having much experience at providing for her kids in general I don’t know.

I don’t feel I should have to be quizzed over every little thing I buy or spend money on. Perhaps 32.99 is excessive to some people and I’m not saying it’s not but I feel I can justify spending that as I don’t buy them lavish gifts/shoes/clothes etc every month. I work hard for my money, I work shifts and have days where I barely see my children, so what am I doing that for if I can’t spend what I have on them, it’s what is about at the end of the day. Thank you all😊

OP posts:

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