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AIBU?

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Original poster

Strange behaviour by ex housemate

40 replies

MrsCrabbyTree · 15/03/2018 00:05

An ex-housemate has just been at the front door wanting a jewellery item she left behind. Sounds totally okay, doesn't it?

But, 19 days ago she gave me permission to throw it away! Thank goodness I forgot to and it was still in the dresser drawer.

I am at a loss trying to work out what is going on. Was she hoping to cause trouble for me even though I have a text telling me she didn't want it and I could bin it. (It is of little or no value)

Yes, I know I should just move on but my bastard mind won't allow me. Anyone have any idea what her motive could be?

OP posts:
ThoraCentisis · 15/03/2018 00:09

she forgot? you misunderstood?

GoldenHefalump · 15/03/2018 00:10

Didn't you mention that she'd said to throw it away? What was her reaction when you said you still had it?

LanguidLobster · 15/03/2018 00:11

What, at this time?

Seems a bit odd. Was she on her way back from a night out or something?

Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 15/03/2018 00:23

I'm not in the UK and it was 10.30 am when she knocked. Came across completely normal but I could have imaged this , there was a 'flicker' when I said I'd go get the item. (her facial expression changed a little like her thoughts changed - sorry hard to explain)

When I handed her the jewellery I said she was lucky that it was still about as she had said to throw it away a couple of weeks earlier. Her reply was that she forgot she said that. My gut doesn't believe her. I clarified her first text reply to make sure we were on the same page, so in fact she said twice to bin it and that she was certain she didn't want it.

OP posts:
LanguidLobster · 15/03/2018 00:24

Perhaps it has some sentimental reason and she had second thoughts

ThoraCentisis · 15/03/2018 00:27

you sound a little paranoid.

fuzzywuzzy · 15/03/2018 00:28

Does sound odd.

Don’t throw anything of hers away, bag it up and put away and when she comes back again hand it all over to her.

TemptressofWaikiki · 15/03/2018 00:32

Having come across the odd scam artist, I think she came with the expectation that you had thrown it and perhaps trying to kick up a stink and angling for a pay-out.

Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 15/03/2018 00:34

I know I sound paranoid but it seems so strange.

She left here 5 months ago. The jewellery was only left because it had been knocked under the bed and therefore missed when she was packing. Advised her it was found and when she hadn't collected it 4 months later I sent her a follow-up text reminding that it was still here. That's when she text back to bin.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 15/03/2018 00:36

Temptress maybe you are right. But then she would have to believe it was worth more than a few dollars to make it worth her while.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/03/2018 00:37

Weird. Don’t know what she’s up to.

NotTakenUsername · 15/03/2018 00:38

Very strange. Not paranoid in the slightest. Did you leave her her alone in the house while you went and got it? Have you checked, could she have taken anything?

LanguidLobster · 15/03/2018 00:39

I would assume it was an item which reminded her of a time in the past, and she initially thought it could be thrown as it's of no value but changed her mind.

Who knows!

Is she generally quite nice? I still miss a pair of dog chewed £1 flipflops I got on a girls' beach holiday in 2001

Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 15/03/2018 00:42

She didn't come inside and I was only approx. 5 steps away opening the drawer. We could see each other during the few seconds while I retrieve it.

Checked my pot plants - they are still all there on the patio. Grin

OP posts:
NotTakenUsername · 15/03/2018 00:43

And are all flowers (buds and blossoms) still in tact...? Grin

Wishfulthinking18 · 15/03/2018 00:44

does sound odd.

Personally I would have looked puzzled then said exactly what you did and then shown her her text.

What was your relationship like?

mathanxiety · 15/03/2018 00:47

I don't think you are paranoid. I know exactly the 'flicker' you saw.

Did you two get on well when she was living there? Any issues with personal belongings or her being a liar? Or stories she told of former roommates or other people being thieves?

Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 15/03/2018 00:50

Thought she was nice. Hmm That is until she tried to leave without notice when we had a sub-renting agreement. Unfortunately for her I came home unexpectedly before she disappeared off into the sunset, leaving the front door key on the coffee table for me to find.

Maybe, I don't think so, but could be payback for her not getting away with paying those last couple of weeks rent. For less than $10 would it be worth it?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 15/03/2018 00:52

I think you have your answer. You are not dealing with an honest person, and this one sounds vengeful too.

Good thing you kept your texts. I would not erase any of them.

Are you able to get your locks changed?

LanguidLobster · 15/03/2018 00:56

Do you have a new housemate? I'd give them a heads up, just in case

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 15/03/2018 00:59

I think you should trust your instincts, re the flicker. Insisting that she hadn't texted, when you had gone to the trouble of double checking sounds like she is dishonest and trying to wrong foot you.
You didn't give her the answer she was expecting, but luckily you were able to give back the item and she wasn't able to cause any further problems for you.
Time to forget all about it and don't have anything to do with her in future.

Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 15/03/2018 01:02

A better good thing, is that I still had her bracelet. Smile

If she had nefarious ideas, then she was thwarted.

Wouldn't have considered her a bad person (even though she pulled the leaving without paying trick), just a silly young girl unaware of how her actions affected others.

(And, still intend on keeping her texts, you know just in case)

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 15/03/2018 01:08

Forgot to say that the lock was changed a few months ago. Nothing to do with her but because of problems with the lock itself.

Waiting, waiting for wine o'clock and then hopefully my brain will stop wondering about the why's and what ifs and wherefores.

Thanks everyone for helping me debrief. It has been good having you to talk to. Flowers

OP posts:
NoCanoe · 15/03/2018 01:17

She clearly had an agenda. Was probably going to pull the stunt it was worth more than it was and you had no right to dispose of it- aka as stealing it.
I think you have been very fortunate you still had it.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 15/03/2018 01:19

Is the ex room mate part of your social circle in anyway or a friend of any of your friends?

Maybe she is jealous of you and was hoping to frame you for "throwing out" her jewellery...or even "stealing" it...it makes no sense that she said twice to throw it out, then came for it and seemed surprised you still had it, it seems like she was hoping to frame you in some way, either to get cash from you....or if she knows your friends, work colleagues, boyfriend etc maybe it was to make you look bad to them so she can swoop in...I have seen people do stuff like this in real life...thank goodness you kept the necklace so you had it when she asked for it backGrin

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