To go NC with sister

[Unforgiving2]

Around a month ago, I was visiting my OAP parents when my sister arrived with her adult son. The adult son seemed out of it, he said he had a migraine and went upstairs to lay down.

An hour or so later my 3 year old needed the toilet and went upstairs to go, almost 4 and fine to take themselves. I then heard shouting from my nephew, and my child was crying. I went upstairs to find nephew shouting that my son had woken him and he was so angry he punched a hole in the wall and kicked the door in, he threatened me and my child with violence. I was totally overwhelmed and upset and scared and took my.young child out of the situation immediately. My sister later told me migraines can cause these angry reactions. I have not seen my nephew since or my sister but that is normal for us.

Today my mum told me that my nephew is a drug addict and that on that day my nephew was high on drugs. My sister bought him into the home of two oaps and a young child to show my parents how bad he is. After we left she took my parents upstairs and explained he was high and an addict. I realise she was desperate but am so angry that she allowed my young child to be upstairs alone with him. He is a 6foot odd strong man, he was high and disoriented and violent - he could have hurt my child badly or worse. If he had hit out at my parents? At the time my nephew did not live with her. She could have taken him to him own home. She put many vulnerable people at risk and I feel she compromised the safety of my child. I am so angry I feel like I want nothing to do with any of them again. Aibu to.completely go NC?

OP - you 'adore' your sister, even tho she is difficult and aggressive and can be nasty?

Just those 3 traits is enough for me to be NC (7 years) with my sister. Without knowingly letting her drug-addict son threaten and frighten my child.

I tend to be of the opinion in these situations (and I have a violent and addicted nephew) that my priority is to protect my child, and then myself. If I've got the energy after that to stay a little bit in contact and hope to be helpful all well and good, but if I haven't, they're not my responsibility. Consequently, I've been pretty much NC with my sister and nephew and more for forty years (a little bit of contact electronically these days) with no regrets.
Take care of yourself and your little one, OP.

Personally unless there is huge backstory which I don’t think there is as you usually adore them I wouldn’t go NC

She sounds utterly desperate - but I wasn’t in the room have you spoken to your parents or her about it?

It might help you get clarity on feelings as I imagine this was pretty terrifying at the time.

unless there is huge backstory which I don’t think there is as you usually adore them - there is normally a 'story' as to why one 'adores' a person who is aggressive, difficult and nasty. Needing to be liked, or because she is 'family' (god i hate that being trotted out) or because of something else - there is normally some 'need-iness' there.

People who are difficult and aggressive are not normally the most loved or lovable of people! And personally, I think NC is the way to go with someone who has no problem throwing a 3yo at a grown man known to be violent with 'migraine' or drugs.