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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want the school to intervene

3 replies

Gingerale12 · 14/03/2018 16:09

Hello all. My first post here.

DS is in reception and I am worried about his friendship with another child 'Charlie'. Charlie and DS are inseparable and only seem to be friends with each other.

At first I was glad that he made a friend straightaway but now I am worried. All the other children seem to avoid DS when I take him to school and the pair of them have not been invited to parties.

DS tells me that Charlie has said things to him which are complete lies fibs about anything and everything. On a daily basis I have to tell DS that these things are not true. DS does not understand why Charlie would lie. Also things like Charlie telling DS that if he doesn't do this or that (eg play a game) he will not be friends with him. I am pretty sure Charlie is isolating DS from other children so that it is just them two and I suspect they are not being nice to other children which is making them avoid them.

I have had so many conversations with him from bullying to lying, about how it's good to have more than one friend, important to be kind etc etc but I feel like I am not getting anywhere. We have another 5 years of this and I think it's going to be to DS detriment if he is 'trapped' (I know horrible to say about children) with Charlie the whole time. DS is shy, used to be very friendly though to other children but not any more. He also gets attached to individuals quite easily.

The teachers who knew Charlie from nursery were so glad when DS became friends with him and told him (DS) so on several occasions which I don't think was great. When I have raised concerns about how intense they seem, it has been brushed aside and I feel like this will continue.

So AIBU in wishing the school would do something so my DS does not turn into an unlikable bully?? I think i probably am as they can't police friendship but it really worries me.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 14/03/2018 16:17

Go and speak to his teacher. And if you can manage it, stop casting "Charlie" as the villian of the piece and your ds as the hapless victim.

Deadwood58 · 14/03/2018 16:25

Definitely speak to the school - my daughter had a very intense relationship with a "best friend" in reception and year 1. In year 2 the girl moved to Australia, and it was a good few years before dd made any new friends.

LauraRashley · 14/03/2018 16:29

I had similar with my DD years ago - she always was quiet and shy. The issue started at nursery, the other child was and is obnoxious- even then would openly slap her mum across the face and weak mum would just ask her please not to do that!

I went to the head of the primary school before they started and explained the issue, they were put in different classes - problem solved.
I imagine the school don’t want to make problems for themselves either.

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