Sending vomiting kids to school / nursery.

[prideofaberdeen]

It's been a bad year for bugs, D&V has been pretty rife. I've had chats with two different mums in the last few weeks who told me they'd sent their kids to school and nursery, after they'd vomited the night before. Both kids then developed full-on D&V and needed to be collected after an hour or so. It makes me so mad!

I know that vomiting isn't always because of a bug, both of them said "I know it was naughty to send them in but, oops). There are 24hr / 48rules for a reason. I also think it's relevant that in these cases, the parents are not in zero hours / precarious employment, and though obviously I may never know exactly what's going on, as far as I know one day off would not have left them on the breadline or losing their job. I totally get having a day off for childcare is not easy, but sometimes there really is no option.
So, would you have judged these parents as I did? (Dons hard hat!!!!)

but people are saying that there is never an excuse and its always an awful selfish thing.
It's just not that simple.

I'm currently stuck at home having had a let to down people at a really important new work opportunity that I desperately need because my child has caught the sickness bug I have just recovered from and was sick last night. I have put her well being and that of all the other children in her nursery ahead of my own needs. Feel really down about it but it's the right thing to do.

I saw a kid throwing up in the lane next to school and still taken in- I froze and didn't do anything but was hopping mad about it
However a friend who is a lsa says her school ignore the 48 hour rule as so much pressure on attendance figures !!!!

To those saying 48 hours is too long: I just caught my sickness bug from someone who came round just short of that timeframe.

DS2 used to get sent home from nursery all the time for diahorrea, and then expected him to be off for 48 hours. But he wasn’t ill. The GP diagnosed toddler diahorrea and had to write them a letter so I could actually work. Still the nursery took a great deal of persuading that the usual exclusion rules shouldn’t apply to him unless he had s temperature or some other sign of being ill beyond what they found in his nappies.

He’s being investigated for coeliac now (at 8). He had one blood test with high levels of antibodies and is going for another blood test soon. He’s off school today because of diahorrea this morning but he isn’t ill or infectious. It was just that it was pretty bad and I was worried he’d have an accident at school.

To those saying 48 hours is too long: I just caught my sickness bug from someone who came round just short of that timeframe

Oh crap. Sorry sickness bugs suck.

I don’t think ds had a proper sickness bug. I think he had a snotty cold and his cough made him puke. I didn’t know you could be contagious 40 hrs after your last puke though (off to do some googling).

I saw a kid throwing up in the lane next to school and still taken in- I froze and didn't do anything but was hopping mad about it

DS2 also gets migraines that involve vomiting (and takes medication every day to try to prevent them). He usually feels completely fine after he’s vomited. The probable coeliac also sometimes causes vomiting.

You don’t necessarily know what is going on with other people’s kids. They’re not necessarily infectious or ill.

Very true. There are plenty of reasons to vomit that are not at all infectious, so don't assume!

*Thirtyrock39 if I had seen this I would have gone straight to the school office and told them- assuming you knew the name of the child of course.
There is no excuse for sending children in poorly or thinking you are above the 48 hour which is there for a reason. It’s completely selfish and shows total lack of regard for other children, parents and teachers.

I've been wondering about this recently actually. Dd 18 months started nursery 5 months ago and I started a new job the same day. Since then she has had 3 ear infections, 2 chest infections, tonsilitus, hand foot and mouth and d&v twice plus constant cold and snot. Dr tells me this amount of illness is normal. I kept her home for the hfm and the d&v and when the other bits were really bad, but I did send her in with colds, and while still on antibiotics for the other illnesses but when she had perked up. I felt like the worse mum in the world but as I'm in a new job I would have been let go by now and totally up shit creek without a paddle. I live a couple of hours drive away from family so what else could I do? I need my job to pay the bills.

if I had seen this I would have gone straight to the school office and told them- assuming you knew the name of the child of course.
There is no excuse for sending children in poorly or thinking you are above the 48 hour which is there for a reason. It’s completely selfish and shows total lack of regard for other children, parents and teachers

Hopefully they'd tell you to bugger off and mind your own business. For all you know there would be a perfectly good reason.

ThoraCentisis if there is a perfectly good reason then that is fine but I would have a duty of care to report it all the same and it would be up to the school what to do after that. As you are getting so agitated, I assume you would be one of those mums who send their children in when they are sick.
I am a teacher at school so I doubt very much they would tell me to ‘bugger off’.

You could read the comments and not be so rude?

I have read all comments. At the end of the day there is nothing to argue about. All schools have a 48 exclusion rule which I agree with and abide by.

I gauge it whether I'd be fit for work. If up all night being sick, no, but a cold, yes, provided I wasn't really fluey with it

The parents I've spoken to say that they've sent in their kids when ill with a for of Calpol (with cold / virus symptoms not d&v) because their rationale is they caught the virus from nursery so why should they bother keeping their child off if no one else does.

I'm surprised so many people really adhere to the 48 hour rule - assuming they have the virus itself for 2-3 days is everyone taking 5 days off work to cover the 2 days from when they last vomited? If you've got two children and they both get it that's 10 days off sick before you've had any days off sick yourself or your kid has had any other illnesses.

So I'm not sure everyone is quite as virtuous as they claim to be. Keeping your child off whilst they're vomiting and ill, yes it would be bad parenting not to. But keeping a child that seems fine off nursery / school just to ensure no one else else gets it.... Well that's awfully community minded of you, you must have very understanding employers.

I'm severely emetophobic and my dd is only 11 months. I can put up with her being sick now but I don't know how ill cope without therapy for it when she's a toddler.
I think it's uneccesary and selfish to send your kids to school or nursery with a d&v bug. I know my dcs will get ill. But surely it's just courtesy to keep them off to stop other kids feeling like shit?

Surely you share time off with your dh? It's not just down to us women, is it? If my boss gets difficult, I defer to dh. Usually, they're ok if I can make time up. If I had a boss who was particularly shitty about things like this, I'd be looking for a job with more flexibility

remember many years ago dosing up my small child with calpol and sending him to creche, not because I was feckless or selfish but because he had got so many minor illnesses since starting that I was on my final warning in my badly paid job, and would have been fired if I had rung in again

I sympathise. I've been here too and it's hard. Your circumstances can change very fast and suddenly you have to keep working with no one to help you.

I don't know any SAHP that sends their child in sick though, at all. That's bad.

At the end of the day there is nothing to argue about. All schools have a 48 exclusion rule which I agree with and abide by

No they don't and those that do its often only for D&V. And its not schools decision, its parents.

Surely you share time off with your dh? It's not just down to us women, is it? If my boss gets difficult, I defer to dh

Not everyone has a DH. Those that do may have one that works abroad, or on shifts, or is uncontactable, or unable to have an flexibility, or in an even worse position for time off.

Usually, they're ok if I can make time up. If I had a boss who was particularly shitty about things like this, I'd be looking for a job with more flexibility

How nice for you that you have the type of job where you can make time up, and that you feel like you would be able to just get another job with more flexibility. Do you think people are in precarious jobs with little flexibility for the fun of it?

There seems to be little comprehension here that other peoples lives can be very different from your own. Most people are just trying to do their best and you could try being less nasty and judgemental about them while they are doing so.

Thoracentesis i think it is YOU being nasty and judgemental not others. I simply stated that it is a 48 exclusion rule- which yes, only applies to D&V. You are finding fault with everyone who disagrees with you.
I completely understand that is hard working and trying to look after ill children but that’s life. You should not be sending poorly children into school.

Yes, not sure what ThoraCentisis 's point is. She started by saying she had to send a sick child in once as basically it was this or loose her job - ok, not great but fair enough.
But now she seem to be saying that it is acceptable to send sick/contagious children if you have a good reason, ie it is hard to take time off work (I paraphrase).

It is always going to be an inconvenience to take time off, for everybody! By sending in your sick child you basically make the judgment call that your circumstances trump the other parent's, and that you can't take time off but it is fine to force them to.
Because of course, you know that you are some much worse off than everybody else, you can't take time off or you'll loose your job, but other parents will be fine if they have to take time off after their DC catches something from yours...

It is 100% unacceptable and selfish. Those of you talking about your work commitments only prove it - clearly your 'work commitments' are far more important than everyone else you potentially affect and impact with your lazy parenting decision. And yes - I am a working single mum and yes it is difficult and inconvenient to take time off when kids are sick but doing anything else is selfish. Sorry though - I don't agree about keeping off with colds, unless v severe. Colds are called common for a reason - fact of life. D and V is genuinely distressing, hugely inconvenient in numerous ways and not workable through, especially for a youngster.

If people actually stuck to the rule and kept their children off it wouldn’t spread so badly so then the children wouldn’t need to be off because it hadn’t spread further. It’s completely selfish to send a knowingly sick child into school/nursey to infect other children and adults. Although the funny part is the same parent who sent their sick child in will then complain when there child catches it again due to someone else sending their sick child in.

hose of you talking about your work commitments only prove it - clearly your 'work commitments' are far more important than everyone else you potentially affect and impact with your lazy parenting decision

actually keeping our children fed and housed is our top priority, for which nobody has to answer to you and your nasty judging.