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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my extroverted DC to a tiny village school?

146 replies

hibbledibble · 13/03/2018 20:50

I'm thinking of moving rurally.

We currently live in central London and eldest DC goes to a 2 form entry school with classes of nearly 30 (school is undersubscribed). She is an extrovert and very social and active.

We are thinking of moving very rurally, where the entire school will have less pupils than in her year. There will be small (circa 10-15 pupils) composite classes.

To me this sounds great to have such small class sizes, but I'm not sure how she will find the change, and the social side. I also wonder what the reality of such a small school is.

Is this an entirely nutty idea?

OP posts:
Panicmode1 · 14/03/2018 16:57

I moved my (very able) DS out of a school with small class sizes and comoposite classes....he was introverted, hated sport and there were so few boys like him, it was difficult. Plus as there is only 15 months between him and my DD, they couldn't guarantee they wouldn't be in the same class and that wouldn't have worked. I moved him to a three form entry, large primary and there were far more opportunites for him to be stretched, enjoy chess club, STEM stuff etc - a smaller school may not have the same choice of extra clubs etc.

I also turned down a prep school for my second son which only had 12 children in the year - on paper, wonderful attention from the teachers etc, but there were so few children to choose friends from, and not enough children for decent sports.

I would also worry about it being very claustrophobic - if children don't find kindred spirits amongst the children in their class, then often extra curricular activities provide additional friendship opportunities, but if there are the same children at school and at Scouts/judo/tennis/riding etc, then it's tricky!

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/03/2018 16:58

Lots of great points.

I have heard that it is currently a mastery curriculum, so children have to work at greater depth on topics rather than moving on to new topics. I have this difficulty with dad's current school as I don't believe they do enough to stretch her. I would hope that with smaller class sizes this would be better.

Why so rural? I love this particular area. It is absolutely beautiful. Where we live is very rough with loads of crime. Rubbish secondary schools that are very rough.

We initially thought of a town but now prefer a rural location.

OP posts:
derxa · 14/03/2018 17:04

I have heard that it is currently a mastery curriculum, so children have to work at greater depth on topics rather than moving on to new topics.
There is only so much 'mastery' you can achieve in maths for instance.
Very able pupils have mastered the topics in their year group curriculum and you end up searching the Internet for problems that they can solve with their hands tied behind their backs. Why not move on I say. I did get into trouble for this.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/03/2018 17:12

derxa I agree. I hope the reality of a composite class school would be that children would be setted by ability rather than age.

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 14/03/2018 17:24

In reality lots of primary schools don't set at all.

Eolian · 14/03/2018 17:29

We moved to a rural area and a tiny primary just over 3 years ago when my dc were 9 and 6. Both are pretty confident, my dd (the eldest) is v. extrovert. She absolutely loved it. Ds is fine but has had some friendship issues because of the very small pool of available friends his age. The school itself is wonderful.

Eolian · 14/03/2018 17:32

Oh and dh and I lived in London, then moved to a not very rural but village location before kids, and then big move to rural Cumbria recently. We all love it, including my nearly 13 yo dd. I don't think I'd ever live in a city again!

DuckBilledAardvark · 14/03/2018 17:35

I went to a very very small village primary with composite classes, so small that I'm still in touch with 85% of the school and I would say we were all quite high achievers. I don't think composite classes are an issue apart from for the reception year.

5plusMeAndHim · 14/03/2018 17:40

Plus

V small class size usually
composite classes means a lot more flexibility with groupings for academic subjects
Everyone gets picked for everything they want sports teams good parts in play, maths challenge etc etc
No plce to hide every child is noticed

Minus
Sometimes get bad teachers stuck there
Small friendship pool - if there is no one you get on with you are stuck
Everyone knows everyone else's business

BrownTurkey · 14/03/2018 18:24

Can be limited sports opportunity/teams

derxa · 14/03/2018 18:25

Can be limited sports opportunity/teams Not at my school. We went in for everything and often won competitions against much larger schools

Onlyoldontheoutside · 14/03/2018 18:38

Small school s are fine.In a larger school the less able kids in the class get lots of help but the more able are coping so left to coast.In a small school where the class is mixed ages more attention has to be given to all.Have not seen any problems with.mixng into secondaries later.
If your are worried about friendship groups then guiding/scouts and swimming lessons are usually accessible locally and produce some good bonds or at least connections at secondary school.

Shenanagins · 14/03/2018 19:01

I went to a tiny rural school and on reflection there were limitations.

We didn’t have any sports teams as there wasn’t enough in the same age group, also after school activities were nonexistent.

We had composite classes so that could be good in terms of stretching but sometimes limited if you weren’t as fast as the others.

Bullying still happens and there is nowhere to hide and you could effectively have no friends the entire time especially a problem with incomers or even that their parents hated each other when they were at the school!

Rural communities can be great but don’t be fooled by appearances!

ReggaetonLente · 14/03/2018 19:24

It will get harder when she’s a teen. She’ll have to be ferried everywhere, which isn’t much fun for either of you!

We are having similar worries about London secondaries (we’re in South east). We’re considering Bristol - a smaller city, more rural that we’re used to, but with the culture, leisure, transport and nightlife that we love and that I think is important for DC. Does it have to be one extreme or the other?

OutyMcOutface · 14/03/2018 19:26

Small class sizes usually lead to a better quality of teaching. Socially people who I have known to grow up in small ruralcommunities have by far been the most pleasant. This seems to be because “in a small town you can’t afford to not be friends with everyone” as one of my country friends put it. I say go for it. The air will be much cleaner too!

ILoveAntButHateDec · 14/03/2018 19:36

Both my dd's attended a small school with 15 pupils per class. DD1 did really well there and had lots of friends within the village. DD2 was the only girl in a class of 14 boys. She requested to move school in year 5 as she had no friends outside school. She wasn't bothered until year 5 as she had plenty of play dates with the boys in her class. At the start of year 5 she began to realise she needed "girl" friends.

She never really made a positive transition from our local village school to the nearby town school tbh as all the girls in her year had already made firm friendships.

callmeadoctor · 14/03/2018 19:37

I would imagine that small classes would be infinitely better for a hyperactive child. Teachers would be able to devote more time for them as well, so can only be a good thing.

callmeadoctor · 14/03/2018 19:43

Sorry just realised that you have thought her extrovert not hyperactive, my mistake.

gillian2111 · 14/03/2018 19:45

i have been with my partner for over thirty years,we have two fantastic grown up sons and i love my partner very much we are happy and have had our ups and downs,when we got engaged we had no money to speak of and i have not got a engagement ring,i think i should have one i feel guilty for saying i want one and we are not planning on getting married aibu for wanting one,we are together for life and i love him very much

ILoveAntButHateDec · 14/03/2018 19:48

Wrong thread Gillian?? 🙈

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/03/2018 19:58

I think Gillian is definitely on the wrong thread!

The being ferried about aspect does worry me. I need to find out what the local bus routes are like.

If I'm moving out of London I feel like it needs to be to the rural idyll. There are so many benefits to it, including air quality as a previous poster pointed out. If I lived in a nice part of London I would feel differently, but even with an above average wage in a professional job that will never be affordable.

OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 14/03/2018 20:10

We live in a very small village, and sent our DCs to the village school that had around 30 children at the time. For our eldest and middle DCs, it was fine but for our youngest it was a disaster. She only had one other child in her year, and thankfully a situation with another parent kicked me into looking at a larger school for her. She was nearly a whole year behind when she was assessed at her new school, and I really struggled with that as a parent as I hadn't appreciated how little actual teaching time she had received due to the spread of ages and year groups. It will depend on the school, but if it is very small, it can massively affect the time they get with a teacher - the reality is often work set by a teacher and done with a TA.

TapStepBallChange · 14/03/2018 20:11

DD is in a small school with composite classes, but a bigger school than you are describing. Her school has R/Y1; Y1/Y2; Y3/Y4; Y4/Y5 and then Y6. It's great, it works well for DD, it means her friends are a mix of ages, rather than just being in her year, as she was when she was in a bigger school. However I would be reluctant to go much smaller, there are about 8-10 children of each gender in each year group, and if your child doesn't get on with them, or most of them, you're a big stuck. School seems more adept at differentiated work for the different groups.

But living rurally you turn into a taxi service, I've just accepted it. Although I have to say, as all parents are in the same boat, people seem more willing to lift share etc

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/03/2018 22:52

I'm not sure how I feel about being a taxi service!

Everything else about the move sounds great.

OP posts:
OliviaStabler · 14/03/2018 22:58

Don't do it! I was that child and I HATED it.