HMRC caller rude or me over-reacting?

[still2]

I've written a few posts about money issues lately.

My bank advised I fill in the benefit checker online. It said I can claim child tax credits. I have never been able to claim before.

I phoned HMRC the woman was rude asked why the bank would tell me to call them and why I thought I was entitled on my husbands wage. She kept sighing. Asked if anything had changed for me to think I can now claim. I said I lost my job after Christmas. She said they've not even had a record that I've worked so it can't be that? I did pay emergency tax but got that back so they must know?

I have anxiety issues. Hate talking on the phone. Not very sociable and I'm being assessed for Autism so yes I understand she probably didn't mean it how I took it. However.....

She then said do you still have your two children? I went silent for about 4 seconds and hung up. I didn't know what to say.

It's not as though asking me if I had a 3rd would then make me eligible for money. To be she was just being funny. She didn't ask how many children I have or have I recently had another baby as surely she would see on the system.

Anyway no big deal. More issues in life than this 😆

I agree she could have expressed the question better. I think she meant do you have any more children since your last claim. But why did you put the phone down. You must have known what she meant. Have your family circumstances changed? if yes then say how if no then say no they haven't Now she will think you are a bereaved parent.

Do you still have 2 your children as a question means do you still have JUST 2 children. Not have you had your children removed. I don't know why you would take it that way

This and possibly she was asking because children sometimes move between separated parents.

You would be surprised that the DWP/HMRC/Tax Credits DON’T have a giant big brother style file on your current life and situation!
Yes there are bits of info on all of their systems but it’s really patchy/different screens/different systems so YABU to assume that they know everything about you. And even if they did “know everything” they do have to check that some stuff is still correct.
I think you should call back, stating that the online checker said you may be entitled, you have a disability related to anxiety and find these situations tough, could someone 0lease help by being patient and talking it through gently?

OP - you feel upset at her attitude/tone - so that's how you feel.

Try not to let it get to you, and instead go and find out about your entitlements online.

This is a great way to check...

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/benefits-check

Having had the single most rude "Customer Service" experience of my life from the tax credits helpline, YANBU.

The woman I spoke to made it quite clear I was being VU for daring to ring the helpline, for wasting her time, her expecting her to speak to me and you know, do her fucking job! It was an important call as DH had just been made redundant with no notice and no pay and I had no idea what that would do to our claim. I didnt want to end up owing them money and wanted to get all the info updated asap. You would have thought I had said I was going to shit in her lunch box. I ended up making a complaint about her because she didnt put half of the information onto the claim and it was a right fuck up.

Get the forms and put a claim in anyway OP, worst case...they say no and you are no worse off.

I think all that has happened is you have misinterpreted a slightly strange turn of phrase that she used to ask if you still just have two children. I'm not sure but I think it may be a regional way of expressing it as I've heard it before but not often.

You mention you are autistic, so your reaction is not that surprising. Don't worry about it. Just put it down to experience and give them another phone tomorrow.

I imagine her question encompassed “ have your children gone to live with their dad” & “ have you had any more babies since you last contacted us”, as the two most likely options for not having them.

"That poor woman" ,rubbish.That poor woman was inept in how she phrased her questions.Poor woman if badly trained, if not ,no excuse!

I’ve had an unpleasant experience with them so I know how you feel OP. Don’t dwell on it, but you need to have another go at sorting it.

That poor woman is probably traumatised now, thinking she just spoke to a person who's lost a child and been incredibly thoughtless!

Good. Maybe she'll word her questions better in the future. Imagine if she HAD said that to someone who had lost a child?

If she works for HMRC, she's probably pretty thick skinned so I wouldn't worry too much.