To be fed up with people taking things to heart on social media

[Midlandsmummmy]

On Sunday OH and I wrote the obligatory fb posts to our mothers for mothering Sunday. Visited both mothers with the kids and gave nice gifts including some personalised things. All fine we thought, was a lovely day.

OH gets a call from MIL saying she is really upset that I didn’t ‘like’ his fb post to her on mother’s day- I didn’t see it, fb seems to display posts in a random order. She is also very offended that in my post to my own mother I wrote ‘to the best mother and nana’. I didn’t literally mean best, as in the best there ever has been, it’s just a phrase.

OH tells his mother to stop overreacting and ends the call.

Am I in the wrong here? Have I been really offensive?

My mil was offended once because i didn't wish her happy burthday on f.b i told her then its me that gets her b.d cards and gifts not her son!

I hope she apologised thecatsarecrazy.

The annoying thing was that I’d organised all the gifts and cards from us and the kids. Sometimes I feel like I can’t win with her and that she wants to cause drama between me and OH.

Oh how ridiculous!

I’m a minus a best friend of 7 years because I didn’t like her Instagram posts very often 🤷🏼‍♀️

Everything Somerford said.

If you can laugh about it with your OH, this could be quite entertaining. I like her overly literal approach, unless you actually said ‘the best mum and nana, all the other grandparents are utter shit’.

Saying ‘you’re the best’ is something people do when someone brings them a cup of tea, fgs. Has she been wandering around thinking everyone thinks she’s the actual best?

Having lived abroad I think Facebook is great for keeping in touch with family, but it certainly brings out the worst in some people. Mind you, my mil will pick up and read the messages in birthday cards, which is probably the old school version.

Oh BustopherJones you have made me laugh!

I think I might have to do a Facebook post next year after all and use
To the best mum and nana, all the other grandparents are utter shit

How childish. I saw plenty of 'best mother ever' status over the weekend. Glad my sister and I chose not to do it. Absolutely no need.
My advice would be to not post anything like that in future, and just get a card.

Agree with pp, it wasn't the mum comment it was the nana comment. That was a bit insensitive.

Somerford is spot on.

The problem with Facebook is the lack of filter - filters which anyone with half an ounce of sensitivity applies everyday in all social interactions. It's okay, for example, for me to complain about the cost of school fees to another mother at my kids' private school. I wouldn't touch the subject with my cousin, who is struggling with debt and really unhappy with her son's school. It's okay for my friend to bitch about her stamp duty bill to me when we live in a similar sized house - but she wouldn't do it to her sister who is struggling to get a mortgage. And these aren't even particularly sensitive examples.

Similarly - you wouldn't say in person to your MIL (or say to someone else if you knew she would hear) that you thought your mum was the best mum and nana. Because it'd be very insensitive. In the midst of all the vacuous shite that goes on FB, it's easy to forget that those words, even if not directly intended for her, will have the same effect when she reads them. So she overreacted and didn't consider the context.....but you were insensitive and also didn't consider the context and the audience for your comments.

Is his mother 13 OP?! 😱 yANBU. She sounds hard work.

good god it is specifically because of this I barely use FB anymore, on MD I was sick to the back teeth of seeing posts about peoples mothers or from husbands/partners saying how wonderful they all are - FFS say it to someones face rather than plaster it all over SM!

She's being ridiculous. My mum's NC sister kicked off a couple of years back because my mum didn't wish her cheeky spolied daughter happy birthday on Facebook (apparently they were all extremely upset and my mum ruined her birthday despite the fact she sent her a card with money in it).

She did get a card from us, a card from the kids and gifts from both us and kids.

I get the point that my wording was insensitive but at the same time I expected a grown adult not to read it in a literal sense and throw a strop to my OH about it.

Get rid of FB

I really cannot fathom getting worked up over anything on Facebook, but some people seem to be utterly obsessed with it. I do use the messenger app a lot as we live abroad and it's the easiest way to keep in touch. Recently I was chatting to a friend and asked her some questions about her life. She got super offended because she'd apparently posted the answers to those questions publically on fb (like getting the job she wanted, kind of info) and the fact I didn't know obviously meant I'd blocked her or hidden her from my news feed or something else stupid. I didn't know what to say, it was the strangest thing to be offended over!

She did get a card from us, a card from the kids and gifts from both us and kids.

They're lucky they get things of the DGC at all.........It's Mothers Day, therefore DM & DMIL never get things off the DGC here.

Sounds like something my very high maintenance DM would do. Over the years it's been hell trying to keep things 'fair'!

She got cards and gifts in real life so needs to get over herself. I use fb but rarely post anything. I have a lovely friend who always post birthday wishes to her parents and grandparents, they've all been dead over 20 years, I don't get it it's as if she needs to prove how caring she is, which is ridiculous because IRL she is incredibly caring and kind. I would never say anything but I cringe when I see it.

For what it’s worth I’ve deleted my Facebook account. That way I don’t have to worry about unintentionally offending anyone or not liking every single post related to OHs mother.

Delete and block!

I think deleting your account over this is as big an overdramatic reaction as your MIL's.

Humankind is being remotely lobotomised... FB Classical Conditioning .... Voila.

Being offended over a post not being liked is ridiculous... why should we all be slaves to FB, poring over every post?