I could do with some advice on how to handle a potentially crappy situation tomorrow.
Backstory – & some examples….DH has always had a very turbulent relationship with his sister, she likes to control him & be involved in every part of his life. She has been very ‘involved’ or tried to be in all of his past relationships, adding the girlfriend on social media & wanting to befriend all of their friends etc. She is a very, very nosey person and loves all the local gossip & always has a tale to tell about so and so’s brothers, uncles, husbands dog etc. She is also clearly the MIL favourite child, and SIL thrives off this whereas DH is more laid back and likes to see his family when it suits him/us – this has caused huge issues in the past where SIL has ‘slagged’ us off to MIL & caused ructions. SIL has 2 children who MIL clearly favours, and admits she favours them, to our DD and DH children from his previous marriage. I have posted plenty about my MIL before so won’t go into that as well
DH’s ex Wife had so much grief from SIL & MIL that she has a Harassment Order against her prohibiting her/them from going within 100m of her house due to SIL past behaviour. Whenever we saw SIL she would pester DH kids for information on their Mum and bad mouth her in front of them which I put a stop too. Last year we had a huge falling our over Father’s Day, we invited the Fathers round for lunch which then sparked a huge backlash from MIL & SIL that they hadn’t been invited and that we clearly favour the company of FIL & his wife (MIL & FIL divorced 25+ years ago) – DH explained that as it was Father’s Day we had invited them as on Mothers day we treated the Mothers?!
Since then we haven’t seen SIL or BIL & there have been numerous texts, calls leaving abusive VM, emails to personal and work accounts slating us, stating untrue facts and threatening Solicitor action if we reply?! She is crazy – you cannot reason with her & I called her and said it was all getting silly & shall we come round and sort – every day/time I suggested was not convenient. But of course she reported back to MIL that we weren’t trying at all?! We didn’t speak to MIL for around 5 months due to lies being told by SIL & DH telling his Mum to wake up and smell the coffee!
So – we have the issue of tomorrow. We have a family funeral to attend – Uncle of DH – DH was close to the Uncle & would often go to football/pub together etc. with FIL as well, I met him a handful of times. SIL has not seen him for 20+ years but that is her choice, whatever. I am dreading seeing her and her husband at the funeral as it could go 1 of two ways – 1. she will either act all normal and fake in front of the relatives and overly friendly & try come and see & hold and be all over DD who she hasn’t seen in 10 months now and didn’t send a birthday or Christmas card to her (despite us not involving kids and sending hers stuff as normal!)
- Be a complete B9tch to me and DH – and make us feel & try make us look like the bad party. DH doesn’t give a flying one & will just tell her not to bother as she has had plenty of opportunity but I am more sensitive than him lol!
Now I know it’s not the time and place for a confrontation and out of respect for DH family of course I am not going to say anything to her. So can the lovely MNetters advise me how to deal with her?! Any could one-liners to say to her if she comes over trying to be all nice and to get hold of DD (Who won’t recognise her anyway!) Thanks!