to think my boyfriend should stop vaping around me?

[EvadneBadne]

That's it basically. I'm 5 weeks pregnant. Boyfriend thinks the use of e-cigarettes is harmless, I think my enough research has been done. Asked him numerous times not to do it around me but he seems not to care. He will sit and fill the room with e-cigarette smoke whilst I sit there worrying about baby and having to sit on my own upstairs. AIBU to wish he would just stop doing it around me?

Colly can you choose how much smoke to have?? I’ve often wondered.

Also vaping is not 'safe' and has been shown to cause health problems such as cancer.

mobile.nytimes.com/2015/01/27/opinion/joe-nocera-is-vaping-worse-than-smoking.html?referer=www.google.co.uk/

“If not, I’m gone”
This is presumably the father of your child and you are only five weeks pregnant. He is being selfish and ridiculous and I am struggling to understand how three weeks ago you were creating a baby and now you are on the point of walking!?!
I think you both need to grow up, communicate and realise that you need to be responsible.

@Ontheboardwalk you can set different wattages and temperatures to alter the amount of vapour produced yes.

I vape and I think YANBU. I'm not a big cloud vaper but I wouldn't ever sit indoors vaping with someone who didn't like it, let alone a pregnant woman. I feel for you, OP, this time last year I was pregnant and to have basically been banished upstairs when I was feeling exhausted and queasy would have been horrible.

I also agree with what others are insinuating - if you can't have a productive conversation about this which leads to an acceptable outcome you're both genuinely satisfied with (not resentfully accepting of) - how are you going to handle really difficult topics relating to how to raise a child?

It's definitely a red flag. You said you'd leave if he won't stop - which is fair enough if that's something you are genuinely considering (I think I would be, with the hindsight of how difficult it is to raise DC even with someone you CAN have discussions with). If on the other hand you're hoping that leaving/threatening to leave is going to be a technique to make him change his behaviour, stop and think about that for a moment - again, see this as an example of other disagreements you will definitely have in the future. You cannot use manipulative tactics like threatening to leave every time you want him to do something your way.

@Casmama what have I done in order to need to grow up? Too many of you on mumsnet. Come in with an unhelpful comment like 'grow up' and questioning the fact that I am even pregnant when you have no idea of my circumstances. I am trying to be responsible here. Really don't know how you can't see that.

@BertieBotts I have no option other than to leave if he will not stop. It's not a manipulation tactic. I just don't want to be around e cigarette smoke. I have tried my very hardest to have a productive conversation, at which point he tells me it is not harmful and that smoking would be much worse. I'm at a loss.

lovebipolar - that's a 2015 link. More up to date research is out there http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/smoking-and-cancer/e-cigarettes

Vaping has PR going on around it which is very similar to the tobacco industry. A lot of people read sponsored material from them and swallow it whole.

The official advice is that it’s a lot less dangerous than tobacco. But not safe.

YANBU

I vape but I don't do it around people who don't like it and even when I vaping outside I do it away from people it's manners. Also you don't have to create clouds and fill the room. No offence to you but he sounds like an ass. If someone is bothering you he should listen to you. Would he vape in front of a baby?

@Ontheboardwalk I know you didn't ask me but thought I could answer too.

You can produce little to no vapour if you smoke it a certain way or hold the vapour in your chest for a few seconds. I do it if smoking at work so I don't bother people. It also depends on the VG/PG ratio.

Evande thanks interesting fact about the smoke being in their control.

I’ve never smoked thankfully but can understand how difficult it must be for people to quit.

I had kitchen fitters in last year that made a big deal about them not smoking in my house. I was like erm thanks but close family and friends don’t do that I’d expect the same from you.

I was upstairs camped out in my bedroom when there was smoke coming up the stairs and I could 'taste' something. Went down and the kitchen at the bottom of the stairs was filled with smoke. They were both vaping away full smoke. I wasn’t impressed

That's absolutely fair enough. You need to be able to have a productive conversation with someone you're planning to raise a child with.

Thanks Raven interesting to know it’s a choice. I do always wonder when I see clouds of smoke coming from a vape

You’re right op- the grow up comment was unhelpful. It saddens me that you and your partner are struggling to communicate to this degree so soon after the conception of your baby.
I wish you well sorting it out - for your sake and the baby’s.

You didn't actually read that article, did you, lovebipolar? Like all the way down the page. Thought not.

OP, the Vape won't hurt you but the fact the bloke is a selfish dickhead probably will.

YANBU. He is showing you by his actions that he has no respect for you. This is a red flag. I hope you can get him to understand how insulting this is and how worrying for your future together if he treats your opinions/reasonable requests with the utter contempt he is showing here.
Does he always ignore your wishes? That's the problem.