To not report her for damage to my property?

[sayerville]

This morning we could not get out of the gate, it had been slammed and bent so is now stuck.
We have CCTV and can see a neighbour lower down (whom I once had a spat with 15 years ago) had forcefully closed it resulting in the damage.
This is criminal damage, but it feels petty to go to the police and I don't want to cause ill feeling, also I know her partner is very anxious and this would cause him grief.
But I don't like confrontation, would you just let this go?
She had come from church, I had thought if speaking with the vicar as he'd know her, thoughts?

Why do you want to protect her from the full weight of the law?

She is a twat of the highest order, purely for carrying a grudge for 15 years.

If I was in your situation I’d be seeing a solicitor, contacting her vicar, her parents, her spouse and cursing her (May your next shit be a fucking pineapple)and asking her to her face, in a crowded environment “ why did you do this? I saw it on my cctv”

Please desist from damaging my property or I will have no choice but to take the CCTV recording of you forcibly damaging my gate to the police.

I am just being nice for her husbands sake, he suffers from bad anxiety, the law is not what he needs.
honeyroar you are right I must do this....

I would complain to the police. What is a vicar going to do? She might get even angrier that you grassed on her to probably the last person she would want to know!

You want this to stop, the police knocking on her door might be the shock she needs.

I am just being nice for her husbands sake, he suffers from bad anxiety, the law is not what he needs.

His wife should have thought of that. If she doesn't care to protect her husbands' mental health why should that be on your shoulders? You didn't initiate this.

I think I need to ask what her problem is, it's bugging me but I need to be more assertive I don't like confrontations
She'll deny it but I have the evidence on my phone to show her if she does.

My DH works for the police, he says it's criminal damage to our property however I don't want to cause them work over a bent gate and it seems petty. It can be hammered back with brute force I just don't like the fact she looked so angry and this would make her worse.

How small was the disagreement?

Very small...insignificant really.
Our DD's were friends, her DD hurt mine, it's was all fine but they did't see each other after that. DD has since seen her DD and they are both fine it's many years ago.

I think I'd go in with I'm sure it was an accident but did you realise you've broken our gate? Then see what her reaction is.

She may deny or kick off (then you explain you have it on CCTV). She may apologise and say she hadn't realised (in which case she now knows you have the CCTV and offer to pay). She may genuinely have been slamming the gate on a bad day without realising she was causing damage (in which case she needs to learn).

I mean....why would you take it upon yourself to shut a gate, it's not hers to shut.
The force is clear to see, she has issues!
DH was livid he had to cart the bin all round the house tonight and postie cant get to the door!

Possibly an unpopular opinion but here goes.

People get away with 100% of what you let them get away with.

It doesn't matter why she did it. She did it, and you can prove it.
It doesn't matter that her husband has anxiety. She's the one married to him, not you. It's very sweet of you to be concerned about him, but his WIFE knows his issues better than anyone and if she was really concerned she wouldn't go around opening herself up to police involvement.

Actions have consequences. People get away with 100% of what you let them get away with. Don't let her get away with this, because then she'll feel like she has carte blanche to do it again, or something else, or something worse.

We learn in infant school to use our words to resolve disagreements. You don't have to suffer property damage because she is willfully disregarding the social contract (or manipulating it. "Don't prosecute me my husband can't handle it", anyone?)

Your husband is right. Call the police.

Poor Vicar.

Perhaps he is anxious because of her ‘manner’. He might appreciate her being approached.