Am I being precious about my Dd?

[BubblesPip]

Basically dd’s ‘D’F is an abusive, nasty bastard and only has supervised contact with 18 month old Dd.
Today contact was arranged at a soft play centre. He took her into a ‘football’ area, with large, foam (but heavy) balls to kick about.
Dd was standing, in her whole little world when the ex threw one of these large balls to purposely hit her on the head. It shocked her and clearly jolted her head/neck. She looked to me as she didn’t know what to make of it. The ex found it hilarious, so she started laughing.

Aibu but I was immensely pissed off and can’t help but think a normal parent doesn’t do this to their child, especially one so young?

He also later threw a plastic ball that hit her in the eye.

He shouldn't be seeing her at all. She's not safe with him. Physically or mentally. Can you go back to court?

Who supervises the contact? Is it down to you or is there another person present? And is it ordered by court? I would not have been happy with his behaviour at all, I don’t think YABU and depending on the circumstances surrounding the contact, I would be raising concerns with whoever directed that he should have supervised

I genuinely thought people would tell me I was being precious. I’m glad that I’m not.
It’s not court ordered contact and I was advised by my HV to supervise contact.

You need to film him playing with DD and then go to court.

I would get someone else to witness contact as well, as he may be doing it to get a reaction from you.
But you’re not being precious.

You are definately not being precious Op, please go and tell your social worker he is being rough and playing dangerous games with DD, sooner or later he will hurt her badly.

Was it an air filled plastic ball like in ball pits? And those blocks aren't heavy otherwise they wouldn't be used in soft (key word there) play areas. She laughed so clearly was ok and you're clearly biased against your ex so I think you're being precious about those two examples

I don't think the child should be allowed to be a lab subject!! What, wait until he really hurts her during one of these contacts, is that the idea?! Sheer madness. If he'd done it a bit harder he could have broken the little girl's neck for crying out loud!

Who in their right mind, also, would tell the mother who's been with an abusive man, to be the one to supervise the contact? Am I the only one who finds this nuts?

Personally, there'd be no more contact if this was my own daughter, other than at a proper fully supervised contact centre. He sounds like a nasty, vindictive bastard.

Honestly, he wouldn't be seeing her until he stops being a twat. If he takes you to court then so be it. Let him explain to the judge why you stopped contact.

"She laughed so was clearly ok". Would have been much better if she'd fallen over unconscious.

It sounds like this man did it to stir up a reaction from OP which is wanky, vindictive and nasty. Poor little girl. Air filled ball or not, he was being a shit.

He isn't being appropriate with her At All I think proper supervision is needed speak to your HV about how you go about organising it.

Some of the balls at our local soft play are large and heavy enough to damage her neck, if they're the type I'm thinking of. It sounds like he is not suitable for unsupervised contact at all. What happens if he asks for that and you have not had agreement from the courts? I would be speaking to a HV/SS about your concerns ASAP.

If he'd done it a bit harder he could have broken the little girl's neck for crying out loud!

With a foam ball??

He sounds like a dick, though, OP. Could you film him next time, maybe?

The problem with you being the one to supervise contact if he's been abusive previously is it gives him opportunities to try to abuse you. He may well use your daughter to do that. That's why it's not normally recommended.

Your HV may not be a DV/ contact expert. If I were you I'd seek advice from a local DV service and see if they can suggest alternatives, or get you some legal advice.

Talk to SS.

It's awful. Yes, foam ball. So you see something to play with safely, he sees an opportunity to act aggressively to her and get away with it because it won't hurt her properly, and see what her reaction is.

You need to stop him seeing her.

Kind of reminds me of the sort of people who get off on hurting animals. The nasty bastards who will pull a cat's tail if they get a chance - just because they like hurting.

Speak to your HV and tell her all this, also SS.

I agree with filming it. Enough of them might come in handy one day.

I don’t doubt that he is an abusive arsehole- but bouncing a foam football off a child’s head and her laughing seems perfectly normal behaviour to me.

Really Bertrand? What about the plastic ball hitting her eye?

but bouncing a foam football off a child’s head and her laughing seems perfectly normal behaviour to me

What I thought, isnt that just playing? Shes 18 months if he hit her with any force at all she would of fell back and cried not stood their and laughed. I honestly dont think ss would be concerned about that incident alone at all.

Basically dd’s ‘D’F is an abusive, nasty bastard and only has supervised contact with 18 month old Dd.

Ahem ^

Doesn't make sense that you are "supervising" contact. Whatever anyone may think of these two episodes, you need to speak to HV/SS and give them the background.

If they feel she is in danger then contact will be organised through a contact centre.

Sadly, you must get as much evidence as you can however you may struggle to film you child in a play area with others present.

I think you're being precious, and are clearly biased against your ex.

OP have you ever been to court regarding your ex and his abusive and nasty behaviour?

Pretend to be playing on your phone and film them next time.