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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To question the headteacher

34 replies

Bonnie7 · 11/03/2018 22:06

To try and be brief... my son was punched in the face at school by another child who he tried to help after the boy slipped over. Apparently the boy was embarrassed at falling over and took it out on my DS as he said DS giggled at him slipping over.
The headteacher was alerted to the incident by a dinner lady and my DS said he felt bad at giggling but had also rushed to help the boy when no-one else had. He said the punch in the face he received was a huge shock. He really cried about it at home and said it had really shaken him.
The headteacher commended DS (over the phone to me the next day) and said he was to be awarded with a assembly mention and award for honesty & kindness. I didn’t mention this to DS as I though the surprise would be lovely for him.
So on Friday afternoon driving home with my 3DS I asked if the day had gone well... imagine my shock to hear that not only had DS not been awarded anything (which is fine in itself, perhaps it will happen another week?) but the one person who did get an award was the boy who punched DS!! And the award was for... “setting a good example”!!!
What would you do/say to the headteacher?? Anything? Nothing?? I don’t want to make a fuss and am only worrying now with the school run to face in the morning! The headteacher usually stands at the gate welcoming the kids into school.
Further info... the school seems to constantly award the kids of parents who are always in the office, having issues, creating dramas etc. I tend to do the school run and donate to fundraising etc but not get involved in any drama...

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 11/03/2018 22:08

I would raise it absolutely.

NailsNeedDoing · 11/03/2018 22:08

Yes, question the headteacher.

Funnyface1 · 11/03/2018 22:27

Surely she has mixed up the boys? Definitely speak to her about it.

Jamiefraserskilt · 11/03/2018 22:37

Absolutely. Go for it

Giraffey1 · 11/03/2018 22:40

What? That sounds crazy. I’d definitely raise it with the school.

BigBairyHollocks · 11/03/2018 23:17

Yeh I would raise that.What was he good example he was supposed to have shown?thank goodness you hadn’t mentioned to your son that he was up for an award,it would’ve been gutting for him not to get one and the other boy to get one instead!

Allthewaves · 11/03/2018 23:21

Sounds like the school mix up the boys - not good

CotswoldStrife · 11/03/2018 23:22

Yes, I would raise that. It does sound like something has gone awry there!

DrunkUnicorn · 11/03/2018 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 11/03/2018 23:31

Yes. Raise it. Especially as head told you specifically. That's bloody shit. I sat through 2 assemblies one week after another while the child who punched my son in the stomach got a bloody unheard of 2 weeks in a row shining light award. I was fuming. Particularly as, when they told me they put ALL the blame on my son saying he provoked him.
I wish I'd said something.
Sometimes the fucking injustice of it all makes you want to sob Sad
Do it. Say it to head. Just ask him why, when he told you that.

Vangoghsear · 11/03/2018 23:38

Yes, raise it with the headteacher and if the response is unsatisfactory write a strongly worded letter to Chair of Govs (you might even suggest you are thinking of raising it with Ofsted as a safeguarding issue). But it is to be hoped that it was a genuine, if appalling, mistake.

seasaltartichoke · 12/03/2018 00:22

Move schools. This Head has no idea what he's doing, evidently.

lalalalyra · 12/03/2018 00:26

I would absolutely raise that with the Head. Then depending on the answer I would consider further steps afterward.

user1483887562 · 12/03/2018 01:00

It is possible the other child got an award for something you know nothing of and your son's award is next week. He punched your son whites wrong but there is no evidence that he should be rewarded for something you know nothing of.

Why undermine the teacher?

Original poster
Bonnie7 · 12/03/2018 11:06

Thanks for your replies, I’m about to ring the school... wish me luck!

OP posts:
Globetrotter100 · 12/03/2018 11:08

Wishing you luck!

itstimeforanamechange · 12/03/2018 11:50

Keep us updated OP. It does sound like the HT has mixed the two boys up.

Duckyneedsaclean · 12/03/2018 11:52

Any luck with the school op?

Fugitivefrombrusstice · 12/03/2018 11:54

Let us know how it goes - sounds like she mixed the children up which is terrible for a head teacher to do!

MerryMarigold · 12/03/2018 11:54

O no. How embarrassing for the head?

Original poster
Bonnie7 · 12/03/2018 13:20

Thanks for the good wishes! I’m currently waiting for the head to call me back as she’s covering a teacher who’s taken some pupils on a trip.
I appreciate all the messages. It’s really not in my nature to complain, I’m generally happy with the school.
I can’t see how it could be a mix up as it’s a very small school.
I just think it sends out the wrong message to pupils... assault another child and you get an award the following week, wether it be for good work or whatever!
My DS also told me that the punishment of the child having to miss playtimes for a week only lasted two days also.. again sending very mixed messages to the kids!

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 12/03/2018 23:53

Did she get back to you?

Stompythedinosaur · 13/03/2018 00:25

I wpuld both question why your d's didn't get their award and why the child who assaulted your d's got an award for being a good example!

5plusMeAndHim · 13/03/2018 02:29

Your ds was in the wrong to laugh at a boy in pain and distress.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 13/03/2018 02:32

5plus, bit harsh, some people laugh when they are surprised or shocked, I know I do.

Besides which, t’s hardly a punchable offence.

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