Mildly sad on Mothers' Day

[ElizabethinherGermanGarden]

I just realised that I have been a little blue on Mothers' Day for a decade.

Initially because I was trying so hard to be a step mum and watching my step daughter spiralling in misery and anger. Then because I wasn't getting pregnant, then because I had miscarriages, then because of infertility, then because my ex-husband was cheating and life was falling apart, then because I had to come to terms with the idea that I would most likely never have children, now because my mum has early onset Alzheimer's and I have to reconcile myself to the fact that each Mothers' Day from now on is likely to be a bit bleaker.

In general, I'm okay. I've created a lovely new life out of the rubble of the old one. But I'm not going to be a mum, and soon enough I'm going to lose my mum. And while nothing at point is too bad, is it reasonable to feel sad? I don't think anyone can tell. I know others have it worse.

I didn’t want to read and run as although I have no experience in where you are I just wanted to say you have come through so much and I wish you all the best

Thank you. It does look a lot when it's all there in black and white. I think because I have come through, it's hard to recognise that it is still real, even though things are quite a lot better now.

Sympathies, you have every right to feel how you feel

As you said, you have created a lovely life but there is nothing wrong with looking back at how far you have come.

Not unreasonable to feel sad. I’m really sorry about your mum.

This is nice You are all so kind. It's good to be a little self-indulgent and it be okay.

I love the fact that it's not burdening anyone. Just a little outlet.

Not unreasonable at all - I find that all the hoo-hah about mother's day stirs up a deep sadness that I thought I had overcome since my Mum died 3 years ago. Turns out I still miss her like mad. You've had a tough time. Sorry about your Mum

As both my parents have passed away, Mother's day and Father's day are not to be celebrated. Just try and blot it all out.

Oh bless you OP. On days like these, it's so hard not to feel sad when the rest of the world seems deliriously happy and yet one hasn't been able to share even a small piece of it.
It seems cruel, hard and unfair but I can see why you feel that way

Mothers Day appears to be like Christmas, with people, saddened they aren’t having a perfect day, but I’m really sure that not everyone is.
I am sorry about your mum too, and pleased life is turning around for you now.
But please don’t assume everyone is celebrating and having a fabulous day. I’m sure some are, but in reality it’s still a day when people are getting the laundry done, children are completing homework, and they left the frozen peas in the microwave at lunch, or their Sunday dinner out, wasn’t as nice as hoped, and there was too much cabbage.
Just normal life.. It’s just a day, don’t let the advertising hype make you despondent.

I don't assume that everyone is having a great time. Just sitting down to eat with my mum, who was struggling to understand what was being said, and my sister-in-law, who has just had a miscarriage, makes me very conscious that it's hard for many, many people. I do agree with you too about the hype and nonsense...and yet...

I feel lucky that there's a forum like this to vent to without putting things onto others' shoulders in real life, and I have very much appreciated the responses from a few strangers who have heard. Cheers folks - thanks for being out there.

Mother's Day is tough on a lot of people. I used to find it hard when I was trying to come to terms with not being able to have children, nowadays it doesn't upset me as much, but I'm always aware of the possibility of others being upset. Avoid Facebook for most of the day and it's not so bad.

You have a lot to cope with OP and it's not surprising that you find today hard. I think people think that everyone else is having a wonderful day, being spoilt surrounded by their family when in reality for many, many women that's not the case. It's just another day.

OP - have you heard of an organisation called Gateway Women. It's an online community for women who are childless by circumstance rather than choice. Might not be your cup of tea but there are some good blog posts.