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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at sister for giving gift early to niece

36 replies

IcecreamSundae2 · 11/03/2018 18:51

I think I probably am, but It's my nieces birthday next month, she is 3 and lives in a different country so I wrapped and sent it early and let my sister know it was on the way. Today my sister called me to let me know it had arrived and that she was going to save it for my niece's birthday but then my niece had spotted the parcel and asked to open it so she had let her. Am I being unreasonable to be peed off that a) my niece won't associate the gift with her birthday and will have forgotten about it by the time it gets to the big day, and b) that it really bad lesson to not make her wait for something like a birthday gift?

OP posts:

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/03/2018 19:31

Little kids like presents. The occasion doesn’t matter. My dd is good at waiting these days but she’s 9 not 3.

Original poster

IcecreamSundae2 · 11/03/2018 19:34

Sorry guys didn't see the other messages before replying, appreciate the feedback and differing views, given me food for thought which is what I wanted.

OP posts:

MammaTJ · 11/03/2018 19:35

Mamma TJ, yeah that be good

Agree with Mamma

Tempted to change my name to WiseWoman lol!!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 11/03/2018 19:36

do it

Lweji · 11/03/2018 19:39

Whatever you think your sister should have done, it's certainly no reason to be annoyed with her.

She gave your niece a present from you. Birthday or not, that should be enough.

Why did you have to post it so soon? You could easily have sent the present to arrive one week early at worst.
Delayed gratification on a 3 year old doesn't work well for a full month. She'd just remember the feeling that her mother was mean and didn't let her have that nice parcel.

headoutofthesand · 11/03/2018 19:40

I was a bit miffed when a friend let her DS do that with a present I had given when he was a similar age. However, when I saw his excitement at an unexpected present and how enthralled he was with it for the rest of my visit and, apparently, for the rest of the time until his birthday, I realised I was much happier that he had had it then and had really appreciated it.
I'm now more likely to do something like that than on their birthday unless I am seeing the child concerned. For example, one family has two DC, one with a June bday and another with a July bday. I text the mum on their bday to say "happy birthday" and then send them a present during the summer holidays... my plan is to hit peak boredom moment so anything they get will have a novelty value.

LadySainsburySeal · 11/03/2018 19:46

I text the mum on their bday to say "happy birthday"

Children like opening cards & presents on their birthday. Mum saying "auntie head said happy birthday" won't mean a thing. A birthday present late is a late present. No matter if it does arrive in the school holidays.

Kahlua4me · 11/03/2018 19:47

When my dc were that young we used to let the open their presents as people came round to drop them off. It meant they then remembered who gave them what and they didn’t get too overwhelmed on their birthday or Christmas.

Worked well for them...

RebelRogue · 11/03/2018 22:15

@LadySainsburySeal DD likes opening presents no matter when she gets them. Might be because she's young but there's no ohh it's march now why am i getting a prezzie so late? She's just woohoo something to open.
She also has a good memory and remembers who gave her and why things that she considers special.
She got early gifts this year. She also got late gifts. She goy gifts the day before and on her bday. She didn't keep a tally of who sent what when. She was actually happy her bday lasted for about two weeks with things to open.

SweetMoon · 12/03/2018 14:22

YANBU the gift was for her birthday. Receiving it on a random day a month before hand won't be at all special and 3 certainly isn't too young to understand no, this is not for now it is for your birthday.

Not a lot you can do though really except tell your ds that you are annoyed about it.

BustopherJones · 12/03/2018 14:34

I don’t know why anyone would be annoyed about when a gift was opened. I’ve never given it any thought. If I send something, they’re free to open it when it arrives or on the day.

My eldest is 2 and a couple of her birthday gifts were delayed in the post, whereas other people we saw a couple of days beforehand. It was better spreading them out because even the few she had on her actual day took hours to open because it involves inspecting them all and playing with them immediately.

She definitely doesn’t do delayed gratification yet - it’s just no to her, and then forgetting about it.

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