To be annoyed by my children

[jayho]

I took them in to town, gave them £10 each told them it is Mother's Day today. They are 9 & 13.

Flowers, chocolates, no card. I said I didn't want chocolate. Neither has spent the full £10 btw.

Apparently I'm unreasonable to have expected a card and weird.

To avoid drip feed, both boys, no contact with father, no local relatives.

It feels like the juvenile equivalent of petrol station flowers and I'm pissed off.

It's up to you how you feel but it seems a bit sad to spend Mother's Day being dissapointed.

Didn't they do them at school (cards?) maybe not the 13 year old but 9 yo?

They got you flowers and chocolates and you whinged about it? What did you want?

A card, I'm weird remember, I didn't whinge to them, just to the nest.

The annual mother’s day threads remind me of the time toddler DS2 threw a small bear across the room at Christmas shouting “I didn’t ask for that!”

YABU

Next time just give them £2 and specify you only want a card then.

I think trying to engineer gifts for yourself from your children is likely to end in a joyless experience.

Maybe next year consider planning a family activity and spending the £20 on something you'd all enjoy instead?

Also boys that age are not generally interested in receiving or giving cards.

Third thread moaning about Mother’s Day. My dd is 4 ds 9 and ds2 they picked some items out from home bargains for about 8pounds in total with dh they made their own cards. It was the thought that counted not the cost of the items the items.

Next time spend the £20 on what you want and don't bother asking the children..., bonkers they are children ...

Genius'£2 and ask for a card'! Just had a lovely snuggle with the 9yo so all good

I'm sorry you're disappointed - days like this are hard when you're on your own. What do you/they normally do about these occasions? Are they usually better?

I don't know what your set up is with pocket money, but I would have thought the 13 yr old at least ought to be a bit more independent with this sort of stuff, rather than having to be handed £10 on the day and told to spend it. I realise it may not be possible, but I know I sorted out my own (inexpensive) present shopping by that age.

Had you specifically that you don't want chocolate? If not, it seems a little churlish to complain about it now. In any case, don't let it all spoil the day - what else are you up to? I'm in a similar position to you, though the dc are younger. They've spent £5 each on me from their pocket money. I'll get my presents later when they're back from their dad's, but I know already they've got me a different version of the same gift each as neither would back down - I heard the bickering and ds1 has already apologised that I've got two of the same thing and I've told him I'll love whatever they get me, which is true. It's all a learning process for them - talk to them about thoughtfulness, but don't let resentment and bitterness cloud the day.

They tried. I find DCs rarely spend all the money you give them. I think it's more to do with their failure to add up on the way round rather than any reflection on how much they want to spend or on how they feel about you.
As for cards, you probably did need to specify that because DCs make them at school and nursery for years, it's a new habit to get used to buying them.

You told them you didn't want chocolate, so did you tell them you wanted a card?

I find all of these Mother's day threads really sad that people complain over stupid things

It's probably more of a roundabout whinge about being alone and the boys having no role model )apart from me who is properly awesome) and never ever having a break because of their deadbeat father ............

And breathe. Going to get a coffee and eat all the chocolates.

I get that OP , I'm a single parent but I am very lucky that DS' s dad helps with occasions like this as DS is 2.

But I completely understand with just feeling abit crappy about never getting a break etc

Enjoy your chocolates and have a lovely day with your children

Just wanted to say Happy Mother’s Day to you it’s bloody hard work being a sole parent, no help whatsoever it sounds like. The 13 year old is old enough to show a bit of appreciation. Hopefully when they are older they’ll look back at realise what you have done for them.

In the nicest possible way op. They are 9 and 13 year old boys. They probably had no idea what to buy you. They probably walked into a shop and saw a mother's day display...and picked up some flowers and chocs off that. It may have never even occurred to them they could get you something else from that shop. Honestly, my 9 year old son would have definitely done the same thing. I know he would have thought as it's mothers day, you have to get something from the mother's Day display. Don't be too hard on them.

I've so far had chocolates and an Amazon voucher. Maybe a takeaway for dinner this evening. No card so far, and I am not bothered about that. Happy as I am.

I think they did OK.

Bide your time, OP.

I raised my five as a single mum and it was TOUGH. No family, no help and their dad absented himself as soon as he could. Spent many a Mothers' Day where they had 'forgotten' (plus we had no spare money for treats).

Now, on the other hand, they are in their twenties and I get taken out for meals, sent flowers (sometimes even 'just because'!) and thoughtful gifts (even if the boys do occasionally get girlfriends' input). So, yes, I feel for you now, but it will get better!

Zap what a lovely post!

Glad you have thought your way through it, OP. I am sure you are a fantastic mum and role model, but 13 and 9 year old boys have their own way of showing their love.

Zap and others, thanks for lovely supportive messages. Fully aware iwbu but needed a space to vent and you lovely lot have made it a bit better or could be a sugar rush

Have some lovely