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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be having a meltdown about having to wear a suit again

72 replies

suitandheels · 10/03/2018 22:50

First post on here so please forgive any breaches of forum etiquette.

Currently coming to the end of a very extended spell of being able to work from home whilst I had 4 children; I will shortly have to return to the daily routine of going to the office to work.

I have to dress smartly for work and generally always wore a 'uniform' of pencil skirt and tucked in shirt with a jacket, which before children looked pretty good tbh.

I'm now having a major stress though because I spent the day yesterday trying on my old work clothes and they frankly look awful - I've now got a tummy which I didn't have before, my arse seems to have lost its shape and my legs are all lumpy. I'm currently on a diet to lose a stone or more if I can, but I just want to know what people think about whether a pencil skirt suit is still a realistic option for me now?

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 10/03/2018 22:52

spanx Flowers

NotCornflakes · 10/03/2018 22:53

So just go and buy some new work clothes. Confused

SpiritedLondon · 10/03/2018 23:00

I would probably have posted this in Style & Beauty to be honest - you’ll probably get more practical help. It’s impossible to know about the suit without seeing it on but it might still work with a different top - maybe outside the skirt rather than tucked in. TBH I don’t see many suits with shirts anymore but I guess it depends on how formal your work environment is. At my place it’s more likely to be softer style blouses , shell tops silky / jersey seperates.

geekone · 10/03/2018 23:03

Go to Tesco and Asda and look at their work wear dresses they are not as fitted at the waist but fitted enough to get some shape. I wear dresses all the time now rather than pencil skirts which I wore pre child.

Original poster
suitandheels · 10/03/2018 23:13

Thank you for the replies.

I'm a senior partner in the company so it's pretty much an expectation that I look crisp and smart when I'm in the office. I've never really been into dresses tbh; if I do wear one then it'd have to be tailored.

How unprofessional is it to have a sea of lap wrinkles across the front of ones skirt because of my tummy?

OP posts:
bettinasofine · 10/03/2018 23:15

Can you not buy new clothes?

LifeBeginsAtGin · 10/03/2018 23:17

If you are a senior partner and thus a professional you shouldn't be having a meltdown. What do you expect after 4 kids?

As long as you look smart it doesn't matter what size you are.

Bambamber · 10/03/2018 23:20

Go and buy yourself a new pencil skirt suit that fits nicely and flattering. Ladies of any size can look lovely in a pencil skirt. I don't see how having a tummy has any impact on your professionalism

Original poster
suitandheels · 10/03/2018 23:21

You're right, I shouldn't be having a meltdown. But since wanker dh walked out on me 2 years ago for a 'younger model' I've lost a fair bit of confidence, and whilst I've been able to maintain my professional status with work, it's been mainly from behind the scenes working from home.

OP posts:
PaperdollCartoon · 10/03/2018 23:23

Are you a lawyer or an accountant? If so go buy some new suits. They’re the only professions where women still seem to wear suits.

If you’re not, some nice dresses with a jacket are a much better and more flattering option. Mine aren’t mostly Boden and Baukjen, with some Whistles.

Good underwear is worth buying. Tights with bold and Spanx shorts.

And also don’t worry! You’ll be fine!

PaperdollCartoon · 10/03/2018 23:23

Are mostly* not aren’t

PaperdollCartoon · 10/03/2018 23:24

Tights with hold*

Christ I’ve only had two glasses of wine

Original poster
suitandheels · 10/03/2018 23:27

I took this pic earlier to text a friend for her opinion, she's yet to reply. Sorry for the shit selfie mirror shot. Does this look very scruffy?

To be having a meltdown about having to wear a suit again
OP posts:
geekone · 10/03/2018 23:27

If you are not bothered about price then Hobbs and jäger are brilliant for dresses and jackets. You might not have in the past but a well cut dress and jacket are very professional and much more modern.

Btw no one will be looking at your stomach plus I assume you sit behind a desk so no one could look at your stomach.

geekone · 10/03/2018 23:29

It doesn't look scruffy but from the picture I don't think it fits Blush sorry.

Emeralda · 10/03/2018 23:33

Have you considered a personal shopping appointment somewhere that stocks a range of suit and dress options, so that you could try stuff on with a second opinion present?

Try not to worry too much, especially about stuff your male colleagues probably aren't worrying about (how their tummy looks in a suit). Hold your head up high (new haircut optional) and wow them with your professionalism and expertise.

6triesbuttingout · 11/03/2018 00:04

Trouser suit, silk scarf and heels!! Go shopping and enjoy. Good luck

ceeveebee · 11/03/2018 00:08

I work with a lot of senior women in accountancy and law and they don’t all wear suits Confused
I would go and buy some tailored dresses with jackets, in the right size - you’ll feel much more confident in clothes that fit correctly. Maybe go to John Lewis or selfridges and have a personal shopping session

OccasionalNachos · 11/03/2018 00:12

It doesn’t look scruffy OP but it doesn’t fit you. Go and buy something new that fits well. Lots of replies have linked to smart outfits & those shops will have similar tailored workwear that will look great!

KeepServingTheDrinks · 11/03/2018 00:13

Please, please repost this in the Style and Beauty section. I've posted there before (which if you could see me, you'd find very funny as I'm neither stylish nor beautiful) and it was very helpful and knowledgeable.

Got my DD her first bikini which flattered when she had no boobs!

MardalaRhyme · 11/03/2018 00:15

Tailored dresses are the way to go. Much more forgiving and comfortable I find. Your body has changed so how you feel in different clothes will as well, might as well try some dresses on and see how you feel about them.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 11/03/2018 00:19

You are a senior partner and well paid so hit the shops sister

At this stage a shift dress , great opaques and a nice jackets what you need get some basics to start you

And get a hair cut and decent make up and all will be fine

SashaSashays · 11/03/2018 00:28

I’m sure you don’t need to replace everything, but get yourself at least a few bits and one outfit you feel really confident in. The last thing you need is to feel distracted because you’re uncomfortable in your appearance.

Not sure where you work but I work in the city and I have seen a bit of change in what people wear. Obviously lots of tailoring but less suit type outfits. Try and maybe find a new ‘uniform’ if the old one isn’t working?

ziggy1986 · 11/03/2018 00:33

Yeah women don’t really wear suits anymore even in law firms.

Dresses are great as you don’t need to match your top and bottom half!