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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Piano teacher slagging off dc behind their backs

26 replies

kryptonite34 · 10/03/2018 20:11

I have two dd (13 and 11) and they both have music lessons on Saturday mornings at a music school in our town - it's within walking distance of our house so they make their own way there and back. It's a family owned business, that is quite established in the town - they run summer schools and musical bands that our two dd have been going to for years.

(This is a little complicated so I'll try to explain it as clearly as I can)

Dd1 has a piano lesson from 9 until 9:45, on the 1st floor, and then a violin lesson from 9:45 to 10:30 on the 2nd floor.

Dd2 has a piano lesson with the same teacher from 9:45 until 10:15. (She also has cello lessons there, but on a different day)

The piano teacher is relatively new there, as the previous one has just moved on to a new job. They've had this new one since January.

This morning, at 10:30, after dd1 had just finished her piano lesson, she was making her way downstairs, and as she was going down past the first floor, she overheard her piano teacher talking to the secretary of the music school (who we've known for years). The gist of the conversation was "they clearly never practise, I don't know why they still have lessons, teaching them is so boring/frustrating etc etc", referring to dd1 and dd2 by name. The secretary was also apparently slagging them off.

AIBU to think this is pretty outrageous behaviour? It's bad enough that the new piano teacher is bitching about them, but I'm appalled that the longtime secretary of this business that we've probably paid thousands of pounds to over the years would talk about them like this behind our backs.

For what it's worth, I think they both do a reasonable amount of piano practice each week - dd2 does about 30 minutes every other day, dd1 does about 40 minutes four or five times a week.

Dd1 says that the piano teacher frequently says that she should do more, and that he managed to fit in 2 hours a day while he was at school - but as she says, he wanted to be a pianist for a living, they just does it as a hobby, for fun.

OP posts:
kryptonite34 · 10/03/2018 20:12

sorry, when dd1 had just finished her violin lesson

OP posts:
Onceuponatimethen · 10/03/2018 20:13

Think I would look for a new teacher Flowers

MissClareRemembers · 10/03/2018 20:13

Vote with your feet. Let them know why you are leaving.

Onceuponatimethen · 10/03/2018 20:14

What grades are they on?

seven201 · 10/03/2018 20:14

Leave and tell them why.

FanSpamTastic · 10/03/2018 20:14

I would call in and tell the staff that they were overheard and then suggest that they apologise. I'd then consider taking my business elsewhere.

kryptonite34 · 10/03/2018 20:15

Dd1 is on Grade 6, dd2 on Grade 2

OP posts:
Thistlebelle · 10/03/2018 20:16

Time for a quick chat with the head of the school.

Gendarme · 10/03/2018 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Butchmanda · 10/03/2018 20:22

That's unprofessional and so sad. That's also a whole lot more practice than a lot of kids do. It's enough to make progress and get some satisfaction from it. Anyway beside the point: I don't see how they can continue with such an unprofessional teacher after that. Very disappointing about the secretary too. I'd definitely complain to the boss and then go elsewhere. Such a shame.

littlemissrain · 10/03/2018 20:23

Absolutely appalling behaviour. I would definitely be looking for a new piano teacher asap and I wouldn't be paying a notice period either.

Deadwood58 · 10/03/2018 20:33

Completely unprofessional. Definitely time to find a new teacher.

Onceuponatimethen · 10/03/2018 20:42

Omg op o thought you were going to say both grape 7, 8 or diploma.

Blimey! I think they practice quite a bit and what happened to playing for the love of it!!?

FlashTheSloth · 10/03/2018 20:51

I'd be fuming. How rude. It's a hobby and they do plenty of practise. I'd definitely be telling them they were overheard, how unprofessional they are and that you will be taking your business elsewhere.

MumW · 10/03/2018 21:10

I'd be contacting the head/owner of the school to ask for a meeting or phone call. They need to know what has been going on. Have you ever been given any indication that they aren't progressing as expected?

kryptonite34 · 10/03/2018 21:17

@MumW

Have you ever been given any indication that they aren't progressing as expected?

Not for DD1 - she got a distinction on her Grade 6 last term and seems to be getting on ok with her new Grade 7 pieces so far.

DD2 isn't as advanced as DD1 was at the same age, and 'only' got a merit on her grade 2 last term, but she focuses more on her cello.

Their last piano teacher was really lovely and we got on really well.

OP posts:
kryptonite34 · 10/03/2018 21:19

DD1 also says that the new piano teacher must be a smoker as the room always stinks of cigarettes when she goes in (not saying he actually smokes in there)

OP posts:
ivenoideawhatimdoing · 10/03/2018 21:21

I agree with the others! Vote with your feet OP! Leave and let them know why!

FifiVoldemortsChavvyCousin · 10/03/2018 21:29

The teacher has a bad attitude towards them. That teacher is not the best one for your DC. There are hundreds of teachers, even on Skype. Find another and let them know why.

They may try and spin a yarn to keep the money coming in.

PorkFlute · 10/03/2018 21:29

Yes I’d leave and let them know why. Very unprofessional to loudly talk about pupils like that if they have a chance of hearing them. The teacher relationship has been damaged beyond repair imo.

KingfordRun · 10/03/2018 21:51

Unfortunately I think it’s human nature and it happens all the time. I have had music teachers tell me similar re: others various settings, not maliciously as such but people talk, this happens IMO.

deno · 11/03/2018 10:00

Definitely new teacher time.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 11/03/2018 10:04

I'm sure they'd be absolutely mortified to know they'd been overheard. that's terrible.

And who wants to be taught by someone who finds you boring and frustrating. How horrible for your children. Surely you can't continue there?

RickLemon · 11/03/2018 10:21

Yes, you need to complain about this to the boss. Totally unprofessional and let your daughters know what you're doing. I would want mine to see how I was dealing with it because it's key modelling behaviour.
Dont ignore it like my Mum did - I had to put up with a lot because she wouldn't intervene - it was awful and makes it difficult for me to deal with similar because I have no positive experience to draw upon.

MumW · 11/03/2018 10:46

I definitely think that you need to talk to the head. Don't go in all guns blazing not at the start anyway and see where it goes. Tell him/her that both girls do practice so if there is a problem then you should have been informed and DDs need help to improve their practice techniques. I'd also say that you feel the student/teacher bond has been broken and you want them to be moved to another teacher (if their is one). Your opinion of the secretary (and by association, the school,) has also been harmed.

Grade 6 distinction is nothing to be sniffed at - well done DD1 - and certainly couldn't be achieved without significant practice.

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