Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To wonder why people get so excited about Mother’s Day?

33 replies

Zippyzoppy · 10/03/2018 18:15

I am both a daughter myself, and a mother to 2 teenage children. On the one hand, I understand that it would be nice to receive some flowers/token of appreciation from my children for mother’s day. I make an effort with my own Mum - used to take her out/buy flowers when she lived near us - now that she has moved more than 6 hours away, I will phone her and chat on the phone, tell her I love her and make her feel appreciated.

However, I cannot understand why there are lots of people on here, calling their husbands/other people’s husbands c*s because they haven’t facilitated some kind of all singing, all dancing celebrations for their wives or own mothers. As far as I can tell, Mother’s Day has become a commercially manufactured event to tempt us to part with lots of money when what us mothers would really like is just being told that we are appreciated.

What do you think?

OP posts:

QuiteLikely5 · 10/03/2018 18:18

Yabu

The threads I have read on here are not asking for big celebrations

They are asking for a card or that some thought has been shown

So your thread isn’t really valid

MereDintofPandiculation · 10/03/2018 18:19

My mother took the view that if you weren't being appreciated the rest of the year, there wasn't any point in being appreciated on one day; equally if you were being appreciated the rest of the year, making an extra effort on one day was a bit pointless. Seemed sensible to me.

phoenix1973 · 10/03/2018 18:21

I cannot abide it.
I'm a mum, I expect a hug and a cup of tea.
I'm lucky my mum is alive so I've sent her lovely flowers.
But I resent this expectation and dictation that we should buy shit on this one day because if not, we are either shit mums or shit daughters.
Then there's the sadness invoked in those whose mums are no longer with them.
Or those who are NC.
Another way for people to judge women 🙄

GreenOr · 10/03/2018 18:22

I think like meres mum. Making an effort just one day is futile and insulting.

Aprilmightmemynewname · 10/03/2018 18:25

In the chaos that is my life - many many dc, work, pets, bills, bouts of school stress, a day of remembering why I had /love my dc /how much they love me +each other and how close we are, is def worth a celebration.
So pause and enjoy.

Pointlessfacts · 10/03/2018 18:27

Waste or money if I'm
Honest. I hate feeling like I have to buy stuff.

I love and appreciate my mum, I tell her everyday. Why do I have to buy stuff to prove it??

LongWavyHair · 10/03/2018 18:31

I just think it's really sweet when the kids are little.

Figgygal · 10/03/2018 18:57

Yup it's commercialised wank wrapped up in pink flowery paper

Pointlessfacts · 11/03/2018 12:15

Figgygal ** love your comment

milliemolliemou · 11/03/2018 12:27

Another one here who doesn't mind what happens - and wouldn't remember when Mother's Day fell if I weren't reminded incessantly by posts, adverts etc. I loved the infant home-made cards I got from DCs, and am pleased they still remember but (don't tell them) quite frankly a text or phone call would be fine if they had time. Otherwise totally with Mere. I get that some people love it and I'm not trying to rain on their parade but it's not worth going NC or taking exception ....

Cornettoninja · 11/03/2018 12:32

It's just a nice day to mark in a nice way. Nothing wrong with that at all, I think most people are guilty of running on a treadmill through life not stopping to smell the daffodils roses.

I agree that some people have very high expectations but they tend to be the same people who have a mammoth production for birthdays, Christmas etc. And can't quite fathom why other people aren't inclined to expand massive amounts of energy on celebrating. I feel quite sorry for that category tbh. It's not wrong but it's grinding to feel your efforts aren't reciprocated.

Spicylolly · 11/03/2018 12:32

I also think it's a stupid made up day and some people really do get too upset about it, personally if I loved it that much I'd make sure I'd tell my family I'd expect a big fuss so they'd know it's important to me.
Anyway it's just another day to me but I'm still milking it and using it as an excuse not to move off the sofa and binge watch Netflix haha might even have a glass of sparkly 🍾

Lethaldrizzle · 11/03/2018 12:35

My breakfast in bed did not feel like 'commercial wank'

DaisyInTheChain · 11/03/2018 12:39

I honestly wasn't expecting anything, I got a card which I'm grateful for. But honestly if I got nothing it wouldn't be the end of the world. We've had a tough time recently so family means a lot anyway.

CremeFresh · 11/03/2018 12:39

I have mixed emotions about it. I agree that it is all commercial rubbish thrown in our faces but I hate the way I now feel because my DD hasn't bought me a card.

BeyondThePage · 11/03/2018 12:40

Not commercial at all in this house - a home made card and a hug. It is nice to be thought about - not just to feel loved like we are all year round, but to be put first.

blastomama · 11/03/2018 12:42

Isn't this just more "women, don't expect anything. Nobody has to be nice to you and you're an idiot who's fallen for marketing if you want a bunch of flowers".

In reality, its just a nice thing to do for your mother. It's not more complicated than that.

IAmWonkoTheSane · 11/03/2018 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluePheasant · 11/03/2018 12:47

From what I’ve read most mums are only really wanting a card and bit of a lie in with a cup of tea in bed. It’s pretty sad if their DPs can’t even facilitate that.

kirinm · 11/03/2018 12:58

I'm with you OP. I don't have the energy to care much about Mother's Day. I have a grown up son and am pregnant. I've seen Mother's Day cards from 'bumps' and just don't get it. My son text me - he's currently living in Australia. I've sent a text to my mum and we will make plans to see each other but I don't need and never have needed the over the top Mother's Day celebrations . I feel the same about Valentine's Day.

blastomama · 11/03/2018 13:02

I would sum it up this way: If you don't care about MD, or any thing else, or you do... that is fine and dandy, you're cool. Once you get into telling other women they should or should not care, you're being a twat.

DaisyInTheChain · 11/03/2018 13:03

I didn't think it was pushed that much on adverts, then I realised I don't really see any adverts. Thank you Sky +

I think the best from what I've read on other posts, would be to advise DH/DP your expectations. A bit like birthdays and Christmas. If they've messed up this year, when it comes to Father's Day, maybe a few winks, this is what I think you deserve and reward accordingly.

shoofly · 11/03/2018 13:11

My Mum died on Tuesday afternoon, and was buried on Friday.
I'm still laughing at the very detailed funeral instructions which were clearly written to make me smile at a very difficult time.
Anyone who knows me well, knows I hate pink and my lovely boys managed a very non pink card which is lovely on a difficult day.
I think it is overcommercialised and wrapped in pink, and I'd rather be appreciated in different ways throughout the year. It seems to be a peculiar mixture of Facebook bragging and people being upset.

TittyGolightly · 11/03/2018 13:14

YANBU.

We aren’t celebrating Mother’s Day today. We buried my nan this week - who I always bought a card for - and it’s just too hard for all of us right now.

On top of that DH has been awake since Thursday working on a big project. DD made me a card at school and we are spending the day pottering around the house together. It’s nice just to have time to do that.

redmarkone · 11/03/2018 13:24

i think its an event in the Christian calendar which has had its meaning diluted and become commercialised.

my dh doesnt really get sucked into it, much like valentines. the kids just make cards at school which i'm delighted with and i get supermarket flowers but marks and spencer posh ones. i call my mum and just have a nice chat, dh does same with his mum. kids have a chat too.

would love tonnes of jo malone, to take a drive down to the Ivy, just in Cobham - wouldnt have to be the Chelsea one (!) mulberry gifts but that would bankrupt us and its stupid.

Flip

1 2