To ask how to not care what people think

[Elizanotlittle]

Does anyone have any strategies or thoughts on how to not care what people think?

If someone doesn't like me I obsess about it.

The other day one of my daughters friends said her dad didn't like my daughter. Don't know if this is true or not but its weird! I don't hate any children. Some are annoying yes but hate!

How do I not let this bother me.

I guess so.

80s yes try counselling. I get what you mean though. I feel not as good too.

" do you always exaggerate like this?"

What a mean passive aggressive remark.

I don't think you can ever completely not care. If you did you'd be a sociopath!
You have to kind of decide who is and isn't important and recognise that other people have their own issues that means they act and think certain ways which you can't change. That is about them, not you.

It was neither passive or aggressive, Asking how to care less what people think of you while severely exaggerating how people think is pretty relevant.

Awww 80s it sounds tricky at times. And I think coconut is right, all of us must care a bit or we would be sociopaths! I sound very blase about what people think and sometimes things do worry me but I suppose, it doesn't rankle or worry me for very long because I sort of think... 'what the hell can I do about this? Nothing. I've done nothing wrong so I'm going to try and not think about it'. (easier said than done I know).

However, I wasn't like this when I was younger, I was really insecure, I had what could be called destructive behaviour etc but the years have taught me a lot..

It was neither passive or aggressive, Asking how to care less what people think of you while severely exaggerating how people think is pretty r

Not really. I meant in general terms. Thats why I said it bothers me when it's about me but also my daughter too.

The answers would be the same whether he was slightly irked with daughter or he detested her. Both would bother me.

Whatever. No point answering you if you misrepresent the question and then misunderstand the answers.

Well I think it is.

It wasn't age but experience that led me not to care. And before I had that epiphany I always had real, serious problems to focus on so no headspace to sweat the small stuff.

I care about the opinions of people I respect or admire, but really don't give a flying one about what anyone else thinks.

Whatever. No point answering you if you misrepresent the question and then misunderstand the answers.

Gosh aren’t you nit picking to be nasty!

How have the answers not been understood? Your point really is missing the point of the thread.

It's not nasty. But if you don't understand the relevance thats not my problem, its yours.

You automatically care less, the older you get

I don't care that much what people think about me, but if someone thinks badly of my child it hurts...what's that all about!

So, no secrets to not caring. But try not to dwell.

I found a saying I heard on mumsnet helps me put situations into perspective: "you can't please everyone so you may as well please yourself", I've shared it with friends when I've seen them struggling in a situation (eg, trying to compromise on their wedding plans to make many people happy who still werent happy) and it has helped them too.

Tickets good point. I used to listen to the Rick Nelson song Garden party. It had these lyrics

But it's all right now, I've learned my lesson well
You see, you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself

I highly recommend this book, helped me free my brain from a lot of rubbish!

Thanks will take a look at that book.

The answers would be the same whether he was slightly irked with daughter or he detested her. Both would bother me

Why?
Is this man someone special? Is he important?
Do you hold him in high esteem or respect?
This man has the power to affect you emotionally?
I love my grown up kids, they have faults and there must be people who don't like them. Does that bother me? Absolutely not! The opinion of someone so irrelevant is of no importance.

Gotta

That is too true.

Thank you

Elizanotlittle
The next time you find yourself bothered by what someone else thinks or says about you or your dd...just ask yourself how important that person is in your life and if the answer is anything less than 'very' then decide they must be completely off their heads and move on....

You know how you are living inside your head worrying out what people think about you?
Well most people aren't thinking about you at all; they are too busy trying to work out what people are thinking about them.

I moved to another country. Spent years trying to be less like me and more like them. Then one of them said I was weird anyway and it was like a switch in my head. I just thought fuck it. Fuck them. Im much happier now and generally am myself and feel more accepted for it.

For me, well, I have plenty of people who really do like me. Enough not to care about those who don't.

My DDs, age 23 and 12, well they have the same attitude.