Dn and his development

[babyfreenight1]

I'm not sure if this is something to worry about.

I am currently studying about child development and psychology and wanted to look deeper at my dn to apply the development. However, I have noticed a few things, I feel a little concerned about him now.

I want to add I'm no expert but I'm just curious if others would keep an eye on it.

18 month old boy
-started walking at 14 months
-only says dada but rarely

• doesn't wave bye or nod his head to say no
• doesn't respond to his name
• doesn't come to you for cuddles or sit on your knee

-seems oblivious when you try to engage him in a different activity as if he's so focused on what he's doing.

• doesn't really cry or talk much.
• sleeps well
• took a fear to a light in my living room and ducks every time he walks under it or try's to avoid the middle of the room.
• loves to spin toys

What do you think?
I will not mention it to the parents as it's so early so want to see how he grows. How would you even discuss this with someone as they seem oblivious also.

Of course I will just keep quiet but will continue to try and engage him more in normal child things like nursery rhymes and play etc. So far he's not interest at 18months old.

I just observe him and try to play with his toys with him. My dd aged 3 is normally playing aswell but he isn't bothered by her presence much

I would be so angry if some bloody amateur psychologist started trying to diagnose my child. Just be his aunty or leave him alone.

I'm not studying psychology. Fair enough but if you were ever concerned about a relative child perhaps you would just ignore it if that's the person you are that's fine. I wouldn't because I want the best for my family.

Are you absolutely sure you've not been studying autism and now you're trying to make the symptoms fit? What you have described could easily apply to every child at any time of their development. Fine to keep an eye but quite rightly as you suggest be very cautious with what you say!

Is it particularly abnormal for the baby to want to be left to play? DC likes to play on his own and doesn't like to be interrupted. If he wants to play with me instead of alone he comes and gets me, I thought that was normal. He gets cross when PIL won't leave him alone and follow him waving toys in his face constantly.

We don't learn autism specifically. Just roughly what each stage of development consists of. We focus on the factors that can delay the development like neglect, abuse etc etc so not in terms of autism.

The EYFS is from birth.

Look for a document call 'What to expect when' - it's the EYFS in very parent friendly language.

It's not one symptom on its own the whole combination that worrys me. If we focused on each specifically you wouldn't be worried but all together yes it is a worrys

My DS didn't really speak till he was 27 months. He never shuts up now. Really

He didn't walk till over 16 months.
I can't remember the details of the other things, but I admit we did think he was going to be a bit...dim.

He has always been a bit late to the party with his milestones, but at 10 is a very able, academic, sociable, popular child. His fine motor skills are not great at all - he's a bit hypermobile, as am I, but that's really it. Boys and girls can be very, very different. I know DS was miles behind the girls his age from our baby group. That was why we deferred his school place (Scotland, where you can) so he started at 5.5 years instead of 4.5.

At what point does it matter if they have a lot of those behaviours?

That's great to know. He may well start to talk and be more social in time

not pointing and not seeking an adult out to share a toy or book and prefering solitary play could be signs of autism, as is delayed speech. My son was diagnosed at age 3. As you have said OP keep an eye on the situation and see how he develops over the next 18 months.

There’s a chance you’ve added up 2+2 and got 5 here.

Lots of the things you mention are normal in children of that age. Just because he’s different from your daughter doesn’t mean that there’s an issue.

If it’s the repetitive behaviours you are concerned about, then that’s normal in children of this age. Not growing out of it might be an issue but you’ve got a while to go before you get to that stage.

What is his comprehension of spoken language like?

Fair enough but if you were ever concerned about a relative child perhaps you would just ignore it if that's the person you are that's fine. I wouldn't because I want the best for my family.

What a silly comment. You think that people who trust a child's parents to be responsible for keeping an eye on their development don't want what's best for their family? People who - quite frankly - know when to mind their own business and don't have an overinflated sense of their own insight and knowledge?

Like I say - if I ever thought a member of my family was carefully observing my child and making mental lists of their behaviour that they thought was 'not normal' I'd limit that person's contact with my child.

All of dd's life I've had uninformed but well intentioned people try to dx dd with autism. More so as a toddler, but even now mentioning certain traits/ habits together I've had armchair dx she is autistic or on the spectrum.

Fair enough if I was asking for advice about any problems. Or if she was displaying behaviours or reactions that even vaguely indicated autism. Or if anyone with any real knowledge had ever suggested it, rather than agreeing with me she has nothing but a few minor habits/ traits that some autistic (and nt) people also share.

And while I know people mean well, it gets rather wearing. And comes across as having an inflated opinion of their own expertise. More importantly if the child isn't developing normally, whether because of another sn or anything else, it makes it less likely the parents will pursue the correct dx/ support if they have already been convinced it is autism.

So as long as he's happy and his parents aren't concerned stay out of it.

I think your concerns sound valid. Have a look at the progress checker here www.talkingpoint.org.uk/node/366/take it's something objective you can show his mum. He might just be a late developer, it might be something more, there is no harm in him being on the radar of HV/SALT etc though they may not do much at this stage.

I noticed some differences in a family member's child ( now diagnosed with autism) when they were that age. I have a child with autism myself and I could see similarities between them. I did not say anything until one of the parents brought it up about a year later and then just advised they should get the concerns checked out if they were worried.
Even if there is something I would be wary of putting it on the parents before they are ready.

Having two kids on the spectrum, I would just like to say some things.

The people who say that early diagnosis isn't worth it, sorry but you're wrong. Lots of research says that for diagnosis the earlier the better as the most effective interventions (eg ABA) are started early.

This is exactly the age that kids start to show differences. Some of the things you describe may point to being on the spectrum, knowing what I know now I'd be watchful.

There is a chart that worried parents/carers can use, called the MCHAT, which is not infallible but might point out whether this needs to be taken further. In the States they use it in kindergarden.

Please be gentle with the parents, if your DN is on the spectrum they will be facing a long and lonely journey. Be kind to your DN - if he is on the spectrum he's still a child, not an alien, and will need you and other loving family members around just as much as any other child (if not more).

Him not going to nursery might be a factor to slight late development. My dd sounds a bit like him at that age. She's fine and doing well. I'm no expert though!

At 24 months my DS did all of these things, he had respiratory problems and had lost 70% of his hearing. He had an operation and you would never know he had delays now.
My SIL (primary teacher) later said she had noticed his hearing loss but didn’t say anything. I wouldn’t have minded at all if she mentioned it at the time but I was fucked off that she seemed proud of herself for noticing it telling everyone she had picked up on it really early on. I feel awful for not recognising that he couldn’t hear us for all that time but honestly I just thought he was a bit behind and would catch up.

It could simply be your DN hearing that’s affected and not autism or SN at all. They might appreciate you mentioning these things sensitively, depends on your relationship.

Also google rotational schema - it should give you activities you can do that might engage him given his current stage of learning.

My DS was similar. His was a glue ear issue a d he needed grommets

I did the same course OP, and the child development and psychology aspects are very basic. We were even told when we did the child observation assignment to make sure we were observing a typically developing child. We were also told not to observe a child we knew because that would make it difficult to make objective observations and conclusions.

Having you as a loving and involved presence in his life will always be a good thing for your DN. He will get a 2 year check up with the HV within the next year, so a professional will be able to observe him and discuss his development with his parent(s).

@smartiecake As someone with autism, I'm not actually sure what I'm looking out for, his behaviour seems perfectly normal to me!