Wibu to go anyway?

[Sassypants82]

Today I'm due to head off for a long looked forward to night away with my friends. Neither me or DH go out a whole lot, we have two kids, 3.5 & 11mnts so it's really just occasions etc. Last night was a friend of his birthday. He wasn't too enthusiastic about going but decided to make the effort.
He rolled in, absolutely arseholed, at 5am. I woke to him sitting on the suitcase I'd taken out to go away. Asked what he was doing, he said 'shitting'. I pointed out that he was sitting on my (filled) suitcase & told him to go to the bathroom. He then started to piss on it. I dragged him off & sent him to the toilet. He was a bit arsey with me. Like dealing with a petulant child. Telling me that it 'happens' and my suitcase is 'recoverable'. He then tried to get into our bed in pissy boxers.. He soon passed out snoring all the way, while I tried to calm down & go back to sleep. Kids & I up since 6am. He's passed out in a room full of fumes. WIBU to go on my night away anyway? I doubt he'll be in sufficient health to properly care for the kids, that's what's making me wonder.. He definitely shouldn't drive and would need to drop me to a pick up point & get some groceries on the way back(although I could probably get around this) and I'm imagining him falling asleep on the sofa when he's supposed to be supervising the baby & the toddler binging on TV for most of the day etc.

While I'd like nothing more than for him to have to do that while hungover, I'm then concerned that the kids won't be properly minded. He doesn't have form for this, is usually very considerate & kind but I'm so pissed off. If I don't go I'll find it hard to be nice to him today too. I was so looking forward to a good night's sleep more than anything

WWYD? stay or go anyway?

I’d go. It’s not until later right? Black coffee and a throat punch should see him right

What an ass

What a selfish loser.

What a dick

Definitely still go. Definitely. But yourself anew suitcase on his card and book yourself a taxi

By the time I'm being picked up, 12:30, he'll have potentially slept for 6-7hrs.

He sounds like he's been a total fuck tbh, I'm not surprised you're pissed off!

I think you will still be able to go - breakfast and black coffee should see him right and while he won't have fun that's his own fault. People do look after their kids when ill sometimes. And if he's really struggling he can hire a childminder and pay for it himself!

I'd go. Have you anyone you can call to check in on the kids at mealtimes?x

He was shitting on the suitcase!!!

I definitely would still go. Tough shit on him. He knew it was your weekend away and chose to do this so he needs to deal with the consequences. Prick.

What a fucking idiot I'd be fuming even if I didn't have plans.

What time are you due to set off? If afternoon then he'll have had some sleep, he can knock back a few painkillers and presumably be able to manage a "lazy day" with dc? You could get a cab to the drop off point and do some grocery shopping this morning if there are things the dc need.

I'd be absolutely fuming and disgusted. To get into such a state that he pissed himself, absolutely vile. I'm all for parents having some fun but that's just ridiculous. Still go, if he's really feeling crap he can sort something out with his parents or something and explain why he's so unwell. I'd definitely still be going. As pp said, plenty of people look after children when unwell.

Or he can don't he grocery shop. He can get a taxi there and back, plenty others do it. He made his pissy bed so let him lie in it!

Do the*

What an arse. Go & enjoy yourself. Check in on the kids later. He will just have to get through it without you. Hopefully he will learn his lesson & be mortified at how he behaved towards you. Enjoy your break x

I would still be going!
I’d wake him up about 10.30 and in the meantime I would probably get some shopping in, dress the kids etc and wake him with a ‘get the hell up now, I’m leaving soon you need to look after the kids’

Go. He's not ill and if he gets enough water moving through him and has something to eat, he'll pick up.

I would go. You shouldn't miss out and he shouldn't get the luxury of a full day off for a hangover.

Sort the groceries out so he doesn't have to drive the kids anywhere and leave him to it. The kids will be fine, he will cope.

I hope he wakes up suitably embarrassed and apologetic.

Oh to be clear, I'm fucking disgusted alright. Just no need to get himself into that state. I'd also be fuming whether I'd plans today or not. He didn't really know where he was & wasn't making much sense, nit that it's any excuse whatsoever.

Since we've had the kids, I would be so conscious about not drinking so much that it would affect them the next day and it just seems that he does the absolute dog when he sees his friends. I think he just unconsciously thinks it'll fall to me & he doesn't have to worry so much about it.
I'm all for him letting off some steam, he works hard & does 50% with the kids once he's home, bit this is pathetic.

I'm on maternity leave & have actually just been made redundant. I'm very eager to get back to work & have been applying & interviewing & finding the whole thing quite stressful, which he knows, so I really needed this night away & he knows that. Our baby is breastfed & teething so my sleep is very broken & the nights full sleep is such a treat for me. What a dickhead.
I also don't especially enjoy being at home every day with the children at this stage, which again he knows so the break is so important for me mentally.

Thanks all, I'm going anyway. He'll just have to suck it up. He knew what would be expected of him today so tough shit to him.

Good for you! Right call- what a knob! Hope he's v contrite!

Thanks. Me too. I think he'll probably be pretty mortified. If he remembers...

Of course I'll be providing a full account of what happened.

Good for you I'm glad you've decided to go. Has he actually done something to your suitcase, in which case definitely buy a new one and ask him for the money! Like you say, as a parent you kind of have to know when to stop drinking

Good for you OP. Enjoy your night off.

Good, hope you have a lovely time.

God what an arse he was! Do you think it might have been a subconscious disliking of you going away?

Poor innocent suitcase. It'll need therapy after this.

Oh the suitcase has to be chucked! Despite his best efforts, it's definitely not 'recoverable'. (and yes I did wonder if subconsciously it was a dirty protest about me going away, although ordinarily he's very supportive & encouraging of me having time to myself).

My amazing sister is coming to the rescue. She'll drive my car with kids to the drop off point & take them home and mind them for another hour & then wake him up when she has to go & get on with her day at about 1pm.

Shes coming over to help me with a job application. He was supposed to watch the kids while we worked.

He'll be beyond mortified to wake up to her & the situation of his own making. As well as a pissy carpet to clean & a destroyed suitcase to dispose of.

Pig.

Sassypants82

It sounds like you have 3 kids not 2. I've known some teens who pissed themselves while drunk but never known of an adult to shit and piss all over a suitcase or other random item while drunk.

Just go on your night away and leave him to it, he'll have to be an adult and take care of the kids once you're gone because he'll have no other choice.