Double standards physical vs mental illness

[6catsandcounting]

So fed up with this. Mental illness = i am a risk of taking time off unexpectedly and therefore work are considering my continued employment whereas if it was physical people would be nothing but sympathetic. Even got the neighbours complaining when emergency services come out to me.
AIBU to expect some fairness

YANBU

I’m sorry if you’ve been going through a difficult time, unfortunately some people don’t know how to relate or deal with mental illness.

Have you got an HR department? They should have policies relating to sickness that your manager should follow.

Hope you are getting the help and support you need xx

I guess it’s because a physical issue can be quantified- it’s more obvious what kind of time or consideration will be needed. MH issues are more labile, and depending on what the issue(s) are, there can be significant setbacks with no obvious trigger. I don’t understand the neighbour issue, unless there is also regular police involvement and issues with compliance towards hospital treatement, which I could see as being an issue for neighbours. A quiet ambulance without blues and twos going, I don’t get why that would affect anyone else.

SD1978 I am intrigued - why would police involvement be an issue for neighbours? I cannot see what business it would be of theirs be it ambulance, police or even fire engine

YANBU but you're wrong about it being different if it were physical. I have rheumatoid arthritis and had several disciplinaries over sickness due to flare ups while the medication was settling in.

Cyberllama sorry you had a bad time but it does make me feel slightly less picked on. I understand that workers are there to do a job but I don't get sick pay so it shouldn't be an issue. Just so wrong that employers can hit you when you are ill and at your most vulnerable

Ok so the problem with mental health issues is they are still very misunderstood and covered in stigma (c'mon its 2018 ffs why is there still a stigma!). Also unfortunately some people do milk a mental health issue for all its worth.

And before I get attacked with pitchforks and flames NO i am not saying you are milking it! I'm pointing out why some employers behave like this.

From an employers point of view they need staff that won't be calling in sick all the time, reliability etc etc blah blah. It's also really difficult to tell if your staff member is truly suffering and needs the time off or are just phenomenally lazy. I've employed both in my time.

You need to speak to your manager and or HR department to find out their side of the story. What do they want / need from you to continue your employment. Try not to react in an angry or defensive manner as this will convince them to dismiss you for some bogus reason. Try to take on everything they are saying and understand that they are trying to run a business. It is not necessarily a personal attack on you.

You also need to speak to your GP/ counsellor or whoever you see to discuss what you feel you can do that lines up with your employers wishes. Write it all down and take it to your employer. See if a compromise can be reached.

Reaching out to your employer and trying to resolve this before it gets worse will show them a level of responsibility they will appreciate. Pm me if you want more advise on how to approach this - as an employer AND sufferer of mental health issues i support you!

People who are off work all the time with physical illnesses don't always get a massive amount of sympathy either.

@6catsandcounting if the police are redularly at a property trying to get the occupier out to a waiting ambulance at all hours if the day, or have been called because the patient is a potential safety risk- and the neighbours are regularly disturbed by it, the yup, it would be an issue for me. If a person had so little insight hat their safety or the paramedics safety, required the police, and a screaming person with little insight of what people were trying to do to help them, I can see where it could become an issue for neighbours as being disruptive. Doesn’t mean they may not have empathy for the situation, but being woken up by police and ambulance flashing lights and a screaming person regularly would be one wearing. Hence my comment. Police don’t attend with ambulance for quiet and compliant patients needing transport.

Is there not something like Family and Medical Leave Act here, like we have in the states?

When I was really suffering with my mental health in the US, someone suggested I have my doctor fill out FMLA paperwork regarding possible infrequent but unexpected absences due to mental health problems. That paperwork protected me from discrimination and the possibility of being fired for excessive absences.

What SD1978 said. Physical illnesses don't make you stab your neighbours, set fire to your house or likewise and this may be what you neighbours are fearing. They might be worried, that you are a safety issue. That some day one of them will have one or several family members less because of you. Even if nothing you have ever done indicates that you are a risk to anybody but yourself. I am so sorry for you, dear OP. Mental illnesses are so stigmatised and lonely. I hope your family and friends are supportive. Could Shaw Trust help you negotiate with you employers?

Hallo OP. You are not alone. I am due to go back to work next week following the off over a bout of anxiety attacks. I have been summoned to a meeting to discuss my return. Yep - that helps my anxiety no end. The discussion will involve how my “behaviour is unacceptable”. Yep - I choose to “behave” this way and lose consciousness in the office. We will have to relive every moment I can’t control my breathing, every time I have to lie on the floor, every time I can’t stand the noise from the air con or the phones or the lights are too bright and I feel threatened by the noises in my head. Yep - that’ll set me up just lovely.

What the hell is wrong with your neighbours? Why aren’t they being supportive and understanding? Horrible people.

@Undercoverbanana good luck with your return.
I go back tomorrow and am still feeling a bit fragile so I hope they don't say anything...