AIBU to get really annoyed when people say...

[Trinity36]

“I’m certain my DH/DW/DG/DB/DP has always been faithful to me”.

No one can ever KNOW if I heir partner has been faithful. You may think they have but to me, refusing tests for STD’s or HIV because their partner has never been unfaithful seems like utter ridiculousness!!!

Sorry, but my wife and I are both absolutely 100% version of each other's faithfulness.

I feel like I do know my husband has never cheated on me.

Not sure where your second comment comes from? Who is refusing testing and under which circumstances?

refusing tests for STD’s or HIV because their partner has never been unfaithful seems like utter ridiculousness

So, were they actually having any symptoms that indicate they could have contracted an STD? I don't know anyone that has tests like that routinely, especially if they're in a monogamous relationship.

If the basis of the refusal is purely on the certainty their spouse hasnt cheated then yes it's unreasonable to refuse an STD test when a doctor has strong reason to suspect it's the cause of your symptoms. Also if pregnant or if required by your job.

Some STD's can hang around for years without symptoms so if they do have one it may have nothing to do with current partner.

I’m certain my DH has never been unfaithful to me and there have been no signs/suggestion otherwise. However, if I had any signs of any STDs or illness, then I would have tests regardless.

I was certain, too, though. Certainty isn't always enough.

I know what you're getting at. It's just the naïveté of thinking that you can KNOW every second of someone else's actions for the duration of the relationship. It's simply not possible.

I believe 100% mine has never cheated on me and obviously I know I haven't. But I wouldn't be so dumb as to say I 'know' he hasn't because I don't. Only he knows that. My belief in his fidelity is based on trust and love and thinking the best of him, not on some mistaken belief that he couldn't technically slip it past me if he wanted to.

I think if you blindly 100% think you or your partner would ever cheat or be tempted to cheat is naive really.

It can also lead to you not working on your relationship and both becoming slobby.

I'm not sure why you would get really annoyed when someone says that. It's their choice to believe it and up to them to accept the consequences if they are wrong. It doesn't really involve anyone else.

Why does it annoy you? No skin off your nose.

Sorry, tests comment came about as I know people refuse std and hiv tests when pregnant as they “know” their partner hasn’t cheated. I’m unsure as to why you would risk your own health and the health of your unborn child on blind faith!

Meh. Still no skin off your nose.

Not so much blind faith - more like ignorance. As has already been said, Some STDs like HIV could have been unknowingly caught in a previous relationship with no symptoms. So makes sense to accept any tests when pregnant.

I wasn't aware you could refuse those tests. As I recall I was informed they were just standard tests during pregnancy..that was NI though and I'll be honest I wasn't paying much attention I didn't really mind what tests they did.
I do know what you mean about people being so certain but it doesn't annoy me..I just shake my head at their naivety and let them get on with it.

Mine doesn't have time to cheat, he's always either at work or home with the family 😂 Plus he's a socially awkward geek who is useless at reading "I'm attracted to you" signals.

... I'm certain he hasn't cheated me in our 14 year relationship.

I still had the tests though. No skin off my nose!

YANBU.

Many people have been blindsided by revelations about their partners.

By someone saying ‘I’m sure MY partner would never do xyz’ a person is failing to understand that
(a) you can never truly know another person’s mind, and
(b) there’s the implication that people it has happened to are wilfully blind, turning a blind eye or have picked a partner they think would do xyz.

YADNBU

My Son In Law is the last person you'd think would cheat, he is a Sheldon Cooper type. But he did. My DD suspected, we all said it must be something else, drugs etc. He'd been on Tinder for a year.

Some people might use their DPs as an excuse because they don't want to know if they have something. I've met loads of people who are honest enough to admit that.

It doesn't annoy me when people say this, I just think "yeah, sure!" I'm very cynical about this kind of thing. I've seen too much infidelity and too many perfectly lovely men turn into complete pigs when away from their wives - including close family members. It doesn't even have to be full scale unfaithfulness, just strenuous flirting and shocking observations made about women in the vicinity that they'd never make if their wives were there.

yabvu. I am certain my DH has always been faithful to me. It's a fact, it's nothing to do with being naive. I don't know that he never would, it's highly unlikely but its possible.

You can be as cynical as you like but you don't know and shouldn't judge for others.

I don't believe my DH is unfaithful but presumably nobody wants to believe that! It's not impossible though. As for getting tests for HIV etc, I do t know why someone wouls refuse when it's pretty standard when they take blood off you anyway during pregnancy. Likewise I was in hospital earlier this year and they said they'd do a precautionary HIV test as they considered my immune system to be insufficient, hence being so ill. I didn't for one moment think it would be the case (it wasn't) but I never though no I don't need the test because DH faithful. It never crossed my mind either way. I think it's more likely that women turn down a smear test based on their partners being faithful to be honest.

Not sure how it affects you.

I know for sure that my DH would never cheat on me because I know the man he is and I trust him. If he did ever meet anyone he wanted to be with more than ne, he would have the courage to tell me.

How do you even know that your friends refused those tests? TMI.