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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To send a bottle of wine to my neighbour or should I let it drop?

24 replies

MotherforkingShirtballs · 09/03/2018 16:23

Earlier today 3yo DS picked up a handful of gravel in the street and started throwing it around on the way to school pick up. I made him drop the stones still in his hand and told him very firmly that he is not to throw stones. Tired 3yo being a tired 3yo immediately lost his shit, snatched up a piece of gravel and hurled it. It hit the neighbours window. I told him off, took his Hot Wheel car away, and told him there would no sweetie for him on the way home, also told him that he would be apologising to neighbour when we got home. We then hurried to school or we were going to be late.

As we were coming back neighbour came out to speak to us. They were really nice and appreciated that 3yo had been dealt with (she saw me telling him off), 3yo apologised face to face and I apologised for not anticipating that he would throw the stone. She said the window has a small chip in it so I've said if they'd like it repaired to let us know and we can sort it out but she's said she thinks it'll be fine. I feel really awkward and thoroughly embarrassed by 3yo's behaviour, for his part he knows I'm cross about it and is being incredibly well behaved right now.

He has drawn a picture of some flowers for the neighbour and wants an envelope so that he can post it to her. Would it be overkill for me to knock and give her a bottle of wine along with his picture or should I just leave it at the apology already given?

OP posts:
SneakyGremlins · 09/03/2018 16:24

I don't see the harm. Good neighbourly relations are important!

causeimunderyourspell · 09/03/2018 16:25

I think that's really sweet that you are wanting to get a little gift to say sorry. Definitely not overkill and I'm sure it will be really appreciated.

thegreylady · 09/03/2018 16:25

Let him post his drawing through the letter box and add a note repeating your offer to help if the window needs replacing. You handled it perfectly.

TossDaily · 09/03/2018 16:25

I would.

DalekDalekDalek · 09/03/2018 16:25

Seems like a nice gesture to me. And it was good of your neighbour to be so understanding.

QueenOfAccidentalDeathStares · 09/03/2018 16:26

I think the picture drawn by your son is more meaningful....... but a bottle of wine is a lovely additional gesture (but not necessary)

you do have to stop apologising at some point though!

Saucery · 09/03/2018 16:27

I would stick with the picture. It’s a nice gesture and just repeat that if repairs are needed to please let you know.

MissMary0fSweden · 09/03/2018 16:28

I'd appreciate the wine but could live without the picture Grin

Just kidding

I'm not

MotherforkingShirtballs · 09/03/2018 16:29

I'm about five minutes away from necking the wine myself.

Three hours to bedtime!

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 09/03/2018 16:52

Wine would make it less likely that they change their mind about needing you to contribute to the window. And it's a nice gesture. Always good to be slightly ahead - you never know when you might need to ask a favour

Afternoon · 09/03/2018 16:52

I think just the card would be nice, with an offer to pay. Then leave the ball in the neighbours' court. You sound very thoughtful.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 09/03/2018 16:53

That's a lovely gesture OP, I think you should glug the wine, on your way round to present her with the picture. 😂

whatishappeninginsalisbury · 09/03/2018 16:54

Definitely bottle of wine and picture from your DS, that would be lovely for your neighbour, and a great example for your son in apologising and trying to make amends.

onalongsabbatical · 09/03/2018 16:55

If I was the neighbour the picture would completely melt my heart, OP. The wine's a lovely thought, but the picture is the thing that would - for me - dispel any bad feeling. Although it doesn't sound like there is any, you and your neighbour both sound like lovely, reasonable people (am I on mumsnet or in a parallel universe?).

IslingtonLou · 09/03/2018 16:57

I would gift the wine too, I think they’d enjoy that more than the card. (The card is sweet to you because he’s your son, but it could just end up in neighbour’s bin as they obviously won’t find it as sentimental)

Bramble71 · 09/03/2018 17:02

I think the drawing and the wine are both lovely gestures. Always pays to stay on good terms with neighbours, so I'd go ahead.

Haffdonga · 09/03/2018 17:02

I'd give them the wine, the picture and a note from you with your mobile number reiterating your offer to get the damage repaired. but they'll never ask after the picture.

Then go home and open a second bottle.

Emmageddon · 09/03/2018 17:29

Wine, picture from DS, and a note with your mobile number, reiterating your offer to pay for the damage - they will be touched by the picture, happy with the wine, pleased with your offer that they hopefully won't take up and neighbourly relations will be restored.

Three year old kids eh? Little shits Grin

greenlanes · 09/03/2018 17:35

sounds a lovely idea and, as so many others have said, it never hurts to be on really good terms with neighbours.

Lizzie48 · 09/03/2018 17:48

You sound like a very thoughtful neighbour, OP. And you both sound very reasonable, which bodes well for good neighbourly relations, very unlike Mumsnet threads normally.

The wine is a lovely gesture and the picture from your DS would melt my heart and I definitely wouldn't be asking you to pay for the damage to the window. But you should reiterate your offer in a note which also includes your mobile number.

GrannyGrissle · 09/03/2018 18:26

Yes to the wine idea.

DinoStomp · 09/03/2018 18:32

I think the picture and wine would be a lovely thing to do.

olympicsrock · 09/03/2018 18:39

Yes to the wine. I think it would be appreciated

macbethh · 09/03/2018 18:41

You sound like a great mum x

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