To think that I drink too much and have a problem?

[cutebabybunnys]

I drink about 2-3 bottles of wine a week. I don't drink every day but when I do it is normally 2 glasses, sometimes 3.

I only drink in the evenings and don't get hangovers. I feel fine in the mornings and work full time. I don't have any children.

But deep down I know this isn't right. I remember being about 20 and hating the taste of alcohol. I would maybe have a glass once a month. My husband only drinks at weekends and I wish I could do that.

I also don't like the fact that I use it to relax. I should be able to relax without it. I tried to stop completely a couple of months ago but it only lasted two weeks and I soon slipped back into bad habits.

I don't want to go to the doctors or anything like that. I feel that they would think I wasn't bad enough but still judge me. To me I feel like it's a problem. Does any one else feel like this? I feel so ashamed of myself.

If you're worried about it, stop. I gave up last year as I was worried about my drinking. Everyone told me not to be silly, but I've felt so much better since. I still miss wine, and have the odd half glass for very special occasions (weddings, christmas etc), but on the whole feel very happy with myself for doing it. Lots of alcohol addiction in my family, so it's easy to see the path it can lead to.

I keep away from the wine Mon-Thurs. I always have a bottle in the house, so if I really wanted a glass, I could have one.

If I fancy one, I make myself a cuppa or a glass of orange juice and tonic or soda. Just having a drink of something works.

I understand this feeling, OP - many, if not most, nights of the week DH and I split a bottle of wine with dinner. We have a wine fridge in our kitchen and he keeps it stocked with a Laithwaite's subscription, so it's pretty unusual for us not to have any in the house.

But I've been noticing that our family dinners are calmer when we don't drink, and I usually sleep better as well when I don't (I'm dealing with hot flashes and night sweats and alcohol seems to make them worse, or so I tell myself). And I certainly never walk away from the dinner table regretting not having a drink!

The problem is the devil on my shoulder who plops down at around 3-3:30 every afternoon to tell me how nice that little buzz will be once I start cooking dinner - like many a PP, it's the cooking of the dinner that triggers the desire. I'm trying very hard to counter the devil with an angel who can help me recall how much better I'd feel in the morning having had a good night's sleep!

Have a look at this site OP and others like it. It might help you put things in a bit more context or focus your thoughts.

joinclubsoda.co.uk/

I found the resources useful when I was struggling with booze. I don't drink at all now but the website is there to support what they call "mindful" drinking too, for those who want to cut down.

I love wine and drink it for no other reason than I like the taste. I would drink a glass or 2 every night if I wasn't at least partly convinced by all the blurb which says I shouldn't. I usually have 3 or 4 alcohol free days a week and have 2 or 3 glasses on the nights I drink.

I don't think it sounds like you have a problem but you are clearly unhappy about your intake. You need to come up with a plan that suits your lifestyle and a range of interesting non alcoholic drinks so you miss wine less. I drink alcohol free beer, lemonade or tonic with angostura bitters, Bottle Green elderflower or pomegranite spritzer.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Me and DH got into a habit of having a glass or two of wine nearly every night. Eventually, we realised that we were drinking nearly every night and decided to limit ourselves to weekend only (Fri and Sat night as Sun was getting ready for work)

It has made us both feel less lethargic and I think we both sleep better when we don't drink.

Can you limit to weekends? Maybe don't have it in the house during the week and just pick up one bottle of wine in your way home on a Friday?

Could part of it be habit rather than being reliant on it?

It's not good that it's increased and that it's become your crutch - perhaps you could treat yourself to 'posh' adult drinks - the ones in the glass bottles that look like wine and drink it out of a wine glass - it'd be worth it for a weekend or two to see if it's just the feeling of relaxing back with a glass in your hand that does it rather than the actual alcohol? I can definitely recommend Shloer Celebration Pink Fizz - we had it for my birthday when there were drivers in attendance - you couldn't really tell it was alcohol free.

OP what is the strength of the wine you are drinking? There is a huge difference in units between a light 7% lambrini and a 14% full bodied red.

when I do it is normally 2 glasses, sometimes 3

Remember a bottle of wine has 6 x 125ml glasses, so 3 bottles a week is actually 18 glasses a week. dh had this problem (after a bereavement) when he only had 2-3 bourbons a night to relax, it took a while to convince him his house measures were triples and it was actually 9 drinks he was having!!

I would be concerned with your negative relationship with alcohol (I only lasted, I don't want to) as you sound emotionally dependant on it and while it may help you relax, short term, it is a depressant and it will actually be contributing to your stress and further dependence.

dh has given up completed for now, 2 months in and he says he feels much better (but he was really over doing it) and he is coping with the bereavement stress much better.

Easy way to count units,if it says 12%vol then there are 12 units per litre so for a bottle of wine 9 units.
I have 2 bottles a week so a bit over the antiquated recommended levels.Other days tonic water and lemon as someone says above.I will buy vino Verde on summer as that is only9%v so 6-7units a bottle.