Should I be honest in my feedback?

[Conflicted2018]

Not an AIBU, posting here for traffic.

I have to give feedback regarding my line manager to his line manger as part of his performance review. We do not get on that well and I am not sure I can give feedback free of bias resulting from my dislike of line manager.

1. I feel he is a bit volatile. For example at one point he got angry because I informed another person in a different department that we had a new team member. Told me off saying I had overstepped the mark. This wasn’t a secret that we had a new team member.
2. Manager once got angry that because I didn’t respond to an email he sent to me and that I did not answer my work provided mobile phone after hours. Gave me an earful the next morning saying I should at least texted him to confirm I wouldn’t be able to attend to email until the morning. I told him that after hours belongs to me & my family and there is no obligation on my part to check/respond to email or phone calls after hours
3. I feel that line manager is more concerned about watching own back rather than being there for reportees
4. Line manager bad mouthed a team member who just left the job saying they were underperforming anyway. Made me think what he says about me when my back is turned.
5. I don’t feel manager is knowledgeable enough regarding the job. Often refers back me asking he how to do this or that.

Would you mention any of this in your feedback and if so, how would you word it? Number 4 is a big one for me but I don’t know if I should mention it. It wasn’t said just to me, it was said at a meeting.

Thanks!

Don't be dishonest but you need not share all your thoughts. Has he no good traits at all?

Positive trait: He is friendly

I would share it but remove all emotions, and just state the events before saying how that has effected the team. So instead of "he did a, I felt b. He did c, I felt d." It's "he did a, b, c, d, e, f and g. Which inevitably has lead to turmoil in the team and an uncomfortable work environment.".

If given the opportunity, I'd end in a practical suggestions for how things could be improved. But again, be professional and as unemotive as possible.

You could state when he is stressed he is not always professional in the way he talks with colleagues.

I’d go with the positive, if you’re asked about that, but would expect them to ask more specific questions related to his job description and responsibilities. It might make it easier for you to give factual responses.

I certainly wouldn’t give them chapter and verse about his failings. If they have anything about them, they’ll know.

You need the shit sandwich approach.

Of your list, I would definitely mention 2 - unacceptable to assume you'd work out of hours, and you can use it as an example of quick to over-react, perhaps? - and you can mention 4 if you lead with "friendly" and then add in "but perhaps needs to keep more of a boundary between work relationships and professional confidentiality, as on occasions has mentioned other colleagues work and situations which made me uncomfortable"?

“Positive trait: He is friendly“

Yeah he sounds lovely 🙄

Agree with describing reactions and how you felt. It can also help to describe what you would like to see, e.g. would like him to be more respectful of reportees' work-life balance. You could also ask to speak to his manager to deliver feedback in person as that can give you a sense of how it's landing with them and judge accordingly how far you are comfortable to go.

Thank you all, that is very helpful!

Overnightangel, 😁

Do it. But try and do it in more neutral language. So

1. Our manager is often not clear about his expectations of his team especially with regards to communication. Frequently our manager will only make us aware of his requirements after they have not been met. This presents us with difficulties meeting his expectations which could be avoided if he communicated them more clearly to the team ahead of time.
2. Manager’s communication style is sometimes not effective and can be confrontational rather than constructive. Manager sometimes has issues with respecting his staff’s work/life balance and boundaries regarding the same.
3. I feel manager does not support the team and does not work towards team goals and is instead concerned with personal goals.
4. At times line manager has not respected confidentiality issues regarding HR issues for staff and this has created anxiety amongst the team.
5. Manager is sometimes over reliant on the team to provide him with information on operations rather than taking the time to build his knowledge on the functions of the department.

I think that’s okay because it sounds less bitchy and more detached. They’d probably call you in to expand and you can tell them in person he’s a nob who doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Eltonjohnssyrup has nailed it in the above post. Use that word for word!

A good piece of advice from a good friend goes like this
(a) Does this need to be said?
(b) Does it need to be me who says it?

I'm assuming this is part of some kind of "360" review? If so, you may find others have similar gripes and issues.

Ultimately, if you do feel that something needs to be said, then I'd pare it down and generalise it into different types of behavioural patterns e.g professionalism, industry knowledge, work/life balance or similar

Is your manager aware of your feelings on any of these points?

I'm firmly of the belief that performance reviews shouldn't include any surprises - i.e. people should be made aware of any issues and given the chance to rectify them as and when they arise. And that should apply regardless of the direction the feedback is going in. So if your manager is aware that you might say these things about him, I think you're fine to raise the points if they're still issues. If not, it would be rather unfair to take your grievances straight to his boss.

I'd leave out 5. A good manager doesn't need to know everything, just needs to know who to go to.

splash, do you think he sounds like the sort of manager who would welcome constructive criticism from an employee? I don’t.

splash, do you think he sounds like the sort of manager who would welcome constructive criticism from an employee? I don’t.

I agree - but it's only right to give him the opportunity. Their working relationship certainly isn't going to be improved if OP lands him in the shit with his boss over issues he wasn't he aware of. If he knows there's a problem and chooses not to take that on board, then he can face the consequences when his manager finds out and OP's conscience is clear.

Yes! I work in employee engagement and get frustrated when people aren't honest. If you don't tell the truth, nothing will change.

How do you give the feedback? Face to face or via a form/website? I would suggest face to face with your managers manager as the best route. Sometimes these issues look very different when written iyswim.

I was honest about a previous manager inn their 360 appraisal.

Gave her 5 out of 5 for a lot of things but 1 for her interpersonal skills.

As long as you aren't launching a character assassination then I'd say be honest, otherwise what's the point?

The problem is, if the op gives her manager the ‘opportunity’ to know she has these concerns she’s putting herself in an incredibly precarious position. He sounds like the sort of manager who would then make her life hell or come up with a spurious disciplinary so he could dismiss any criticism as sour grapes.

If you’re behaving as badly as he is, I think you’ve forfeited the right to expect employees to come to you with problems and concerns. Especially about their management style.

the whole point of 360 feedback is to get a rounded view of an employee's performance in a reasonably anonymous format. It doesn't work if everyone just says "yeah, he's really friendly", everyone has elements that they need to work on or could do better.

Elton's wording looks good.

As a manager, I've found it really helpful when people send in negative feedback because often it confirms niggling doubts that I have had, or gives me a great "in" to discussing a particular problem. Eg I had a feeling that someone I line managed wasn't great at delegating, but when we had discussed it he assured me the team was happy with his approach. Guess what - 360 feedback showed that he wasn't clear enough when delegating, particularly around expected timescales. This led to a really good, focused discussion with him and he improved hugely (and the whole team was happier and more productive as a result)

I would have a conversation with the Manager's Manager, and ask about their expectations. Have that conversatin that says - presumbly if the company / organisation is doing this, then they want people to be honest, or it is just a complete waste of everyone's time, however it obviously puts any employee in a difficult position if they say anything that could be construed as a criticism, as the manager will know where it has come from, and the Manager is still going to be managing them for the coming year. Then ask how the employer intends to deal with that. Are they asking all 10 people the manager manages - in which case it might be they get more honest feedback as everyone thinks they are more of a group - or are they putting one person on the spot, in which case that could potentially get awkward for employees, so how is the company managing it.
I would try to do it in an abstract, theoretical way, pointing out this isn't about you and your manager, but as a whole company-wide things.

The problem is, if the op gives her manager the ‘opportunity’ to know she has these concerns she’s putting herself in an incredibly precarious position. He sounds like the sort of manager who would then make her life hell or come up with a spurious disciplinary so he could dismiss any criticism as sour grapes.

If he's going to react like that, he'll do it regardless of how he finds out about the OP's complaints - whether it comes via his manager or directly from her. And OP could mentioning her fear of repercussions to the senior manager when submitting her feedback, if she feels this is a possibility.

I'm not defending the manager here - he sounds pretty unpleasant. I just know that I'd be pretty upset if I was marked down on my appraisal for problems that I was unaware of and had no opportunity to address, because someone had escalated them straight to my boss instead of broaching the subject with me.

I'd also suggest that the senior manager would think more highly of the OP if she said, "Here's the problems I have with my manager and this is how I've attempted to improve things", rather than, "Here's the list of problems I have with my manager - fix them for me, please!"

Final point: issue number 4 on OP's list is her concern about her manager saying things behind her back. If her feedback includes criticisms that her manager is unaware of, how is that any better?

Re: the point on 4. Because her manager announced confidential HR stuff to the team. Totally inappropriate. That’s completely different from giving feedback via an appropriate channel.

If the company are even halfway competent, the manager would have no idea specifically who the criticism came from, and no opportunity to retaliate.