I've had enough of DP's smelly feet

[embazzled]

Every day when he gets home from work the smell honestly makes me want to throw up. I started by asking him nicely to change his socks/wash his feet when he gets in but he won't. A few weeks ago I could smell them during the day so was hunting under the sofa to see if a sock was there and realised the it's the sofa where he sits that has the smell 🤢

I started getting annoyed at him about it then but he won't do anything about it. I tried explaining how it's making me feel but he doesn't care. What can I do? It's making me resent him how selfish he is being about it.

Have you checked to see if it's caused by a fungal infection? If so, treating this might help.

You can leave him, that's what you can do, and I recommend it. This is way beyond his disgusting feet. He doesn't give a fuck about you and it shows.

Way over the top aqua marine ! The poor guy needs medical attention as it sounds like a fungal infection . How shallow and childlike to suggest leaving someone due to foot odour ! Grow up love ! Op please get some advice from a pharmacist asap

Oh yes, poor him!

He could do something about it but can't be arsed. He doesn't care that he stinks. He doesn't care about having decent personal hygiene. He doesn't care that he makes his partner want to like. Poor him!

PUKE not LIKE

Only on mumsnet people would offer LTB advice so flippantly !

Actually I agree with Aquamarine. There's one thing having an issue that requires testament, another refusing to do anything about it and not giving a fuck how it affects others.

He refuses to wash his feet or change his socks when he needs to.

Op I know how pervasive that awful cheesy smell can be. If he can't be arsed to do anything about it, then I don't see why you should have to put up with it.

Urgh that is awful.

I bet he can't smell it, so probably doesn't think you are serious about how much it is affecting you?

Get someone in to clean the upholstery and take the money out of his "fun stuff" budget if he has one. Just keep using money meant for his stuff to pay for cleaning until he takes action. Don't sit with him. Don't cook for him because you can't "eat with that smell around you" etc. If he complaints, tell him that he's making your life worse because he can't be bothered to clean his feet so why should you be near him.

Well, he doesn’t give a hoot about how his personal hygiene is affecting his DP, and athlete foot can hardly be seen as a serious medical condition to be conmiscerated for.

If he is trying to get rid of it, ok.... If not, this may be a very telling sign about what the relationship is descending to.

When he sits down get out a can of febreeze and spray his feet with them. Lots. Make a point of it every time. Surely that has to make him want to sort it?

I agree with LTB! Do you have such low self esteem you’ll put up with this? It’s disgusting!

Does he just have sweaty feet? I do so only wear each pair of shoes once a week to give them time to air between wears. I find that stops my feet from smelling when I take my shoes off.

He's said before he has athletes foot but he's not doing anything about it. He's in a mood now because for the second night in a row he's been laid on the sofa with his feet where I sit so it smells there again I've tried spraying the sofa with fabreeze but then he complains that it's wet. He's acting as if I'm in the wrong any time I bring it up about the smell.

I think you need to go on a strike. He doesn’t want to help himself, just stay away from him and don’t do anything for him.

I recommend loud vocal complaining, to shame him into washing, every single time he refuses to wash his stinking feet. This is so disrespectful to you.

He needs to treat the athlete's foot. Healthy feet wouldn't normally smell to this extent. Could it be embarrassment that's making him unresponsive? I agree with pps that he's being selfish in not tackling the problem - you might need to resort to harsher tactics to make him understand how unpleasant this is for you.

On a practical level, Zoflora is probably a better bet than Febreze for getting rid of the sofa smell; you could also put a throw down where he sits so you can chuck it regularly in the wash.

I've had athlete's foot and it HONKS. Not cheesey in my experience but like a hideous pungent combination of honey and vinegar!

It was also quite uncomfortable; itchy and hot feeling.

I used topical cream but there is also spray. It can be persistent but it's not that difficult to treat. He really should be finding a solution.

How selfish.

Show him this thread.

He’s disgusting. Washing his feet and changing his socks is the least he can do for you. I wouldn’t be able to handle this!

My parter sometimes has utterly rancid feet. But as soon as I ask him to sort it out because the smell makes me sick, he will put his shoes in a bag and shower. The fact that he is so clearly not giving a shit that his stench is making you sick is crappy of him. And gross.

He can't help it his feet smell. He can help it that he doesn't sort it out straight away.

I would actually leave someone over that. The smell is vomit inducing and to have to put up with it is depressing.

I cannot abide men's feet. disgusting things. But stinky ones that they refuse to look after. I couldn;t deal with it. I hope you have your own bedroom. Imagine one accidentally touching you in the night!!! Bllleeeeuuurrrgggghhhh!

I would walk out of every room he walked into. And leave the windows open when he's home. And tell him he needs to put bicarb on the sofa after he's had his feet on it and tell him he needs to vacuum it up before he leaves for work in the morning.
I'd also be sleeping in a different room.

Utterly disgusting.

Also, not taking care of his health is weird too. So easy to fix! What's that all about?

Op's post is NOT really about his smelly feet. It's about his total disregard for her well-being and happiness. If you wouldn't leave someone like that, you have set your bar far too low.

You are married to a selfish pig OP.

I feel for you op - this is truly disgusting.

Not only disgusting but completely unacceptable behaviour towards someone he loves.

If a woman had bacterial vaginitis so pungent her partner could tell where she had been sitting on the sofa - she would soon be told to get the problem sorted out.

This op’s dp’s behaviour cannot be excused. He is so ignorantly entitled in not addressing HIS problem.

If a man was to come home and start slapping his wife around every evening after dinner would that be acceptable? If he took a crap on the carpet every day after breakfast, and see nothing wrong in it would that be acceptable? Would the op have to put up with that?

Some behaviour can be seen as intolerable, other might not. In this case the op IS affected and for him not to understand this is abusive behaviour.

If the sofa smells then heaven help the op having to lie next to him in smelly bedding.

I would put as much (fragrant) space between this man until he comes to understand no woman likes being intimate with a stinking man.

I feel for you op - you do not have to accept this bad and wholly disrespectful behaviour .