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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect an appointment at Y7 Parents evening?

40 replies

Allotment123 · 08/03/2018 17:47

I'm new to this whole secondary thing, lovely tutor who responds to email but apart from that one report with random levels (no explanation though lovely tutor then tried to explain over email).

We now have first parents evening coming up and have been told this,

"SUBJECT EVENING APPOINTMENTS - I think the best thing to say here is a famous British saying: Keep Calm and Carry On. Many parents are worried they are not getting appointments with teachers, I am sorry - it is honestly just not possible. I promise you that I am encouraging your child to set them, some teachers just do not have any slots left. Also, if your student is doing WELL in the subject the teacher will specifically not give them an appointment so they can speak to parents of students who are struggling. What does this mean? YOUR CHILD IS ACADEMICALLY AWESOME and WELL BEHAVED!"

Is this normal that you don't get to see teachers at parents evenings and does this continue up the school. Also told appointments are only 3 minutes anyhow.

OP posts:
PandasRock · 08/03/2018 19:49

I have a child (actually, 2) who is ‘doing fine’ and am repeatedly told ‘there’s nothing to be concerned about’.

For the elder one of the two, I had to repeatedly inform teachers st parents evenings that 1) she had a dx, 2) what they were seeing as calm compliance was actually complete shutdown and 3) I was doing much of the teaching they were supposed to be doing, because here wasn’t much learning going on at school due to the complete shutdown arising from needs not being met. She was far from ‘fine’ and there was LOTS to be concerned about. And I had to do this year after year, as teachers changed. I had to chase up support, I had to ensure promised support was actually being delivered. And parents evening was one way of getting to see multiple teachers without wasting a lot of time, and kickstarting a proper dialogue between us.

If a child is actually struggling, it shouldn’t be being brought up as news at parents evening. That is extremely poor practise. And so, no, I wouldn’t automatically assign parents evening appts to parents of children who are struggling.

Dungeondragon15 · 08/03/2018 19:54

My DDs' school must be abnormal then as we see the majority of teachers on parents evenings. Find it a bit odd that people expect and don't want to tbh. We only talk to each one for about 3 or 4 minutes but I find it quite useful. I think we usually only see one science teacher though.

PandasRock · 08/03/2018 19:54

It is highly unlikely that the majority of year 7 pupils have absolutely nothing at all that can be commented on at parents evening.

I would be Hmm if that is all I was told, and would suspect that the teacher had no idea who my child was.

Caenea · 08/03/2018 19:58

Don't worry OP - there are plenty of parents who won't bother going at all, and you may very well find on the night there are teachers free that you may be able to snatch two minutes with.

But on the whole I agree with the school - they have to prioritise the struggling kids. Is it right? No. Is it necessary in an understaffed, probably oversubscribed state school? Yes.

Tink2007 · 08/03/2018 19:59

My DD had her first parents evening on Tuesday. I saw every teacher for each of her subjects - I think it was 14 in all. You had to queue for each individual teacher.

Dungeondragon15 · 08/03/2018 20:00

If a child is actually struggling, it shouldn’t be being brought up as news at parents evening. That is extremely poor practise. And so, no, I wouldn’t automatically assign parents evening appts to parents of children who are struggling.

Exactly it didn't occur to me that parents evening are only for those who are struggling. My children are doing well but I still find the information we are given useful.

HolyShet · 08/03/2018 20:05

DS1s school the appointments are a guide
Its basically line up by the teacher and wait to see who you can see
Certain teachers will say "I definitely do want an appointment with your parents - that means there's an issue or an opportunity" others say - no need to @50% of the class, means you are MOR and no particular worries.
You get used to it.

Thecrabbypatty · 08/03/2018 23:29

I am putting my helmet and knee pads on here and expecting a barrage but i'll come out with it.... I teach 90+ year 7 students every September and I teach each of them for one hour a week. Assuming parents evening is in March, and assuming time in the classroom is divided exactly between each child (it's not! And taking into account register, plenary etc) I have probably had less than 8 minutes to spend with your child since September. Just working this out is frightening and raises one of my pet peeves about outrageous classroom sizes. So no, unless your child has become conspicuous (good or bad!) it's unlikely at this stage that I do know them very well to be honest. I try exceptionally hard to get to know my students but I only have one hour a week with lower school. I'm lucky to teach a great subject so everyone wants an appointment but I only have 36 once a year so obviously I can't see everyone. From a selfish prospective I agree with the OP because I LOVE telling great kids parents how brilliant they are and sending everyone away glowing. But time is limited so I guess it's a case of prioritising and usually it's kids that struggle or misbehave that I really do need to discuss and nip in the bud. My school is however first come first served at KS3 and compulsory all subjects at KS4.

Thecrabbypatty · 08/03/2018 23:34

Sorry 18 minutes!

Pengggwn · 09/03/2018 07:09

The idea that a teacher will know students 'well' in Y7 when they teach them for an hour a week alongside 30-odd others is ludicrous anyway. Their form teacher might know them reasonably well, it's likely an English, Maths or Science teacher would be able to discuss their strengths and weaknesses, but Music/History/Tech? No, they will just be learning the last names in the class by Christmas and will have started getting to know the child.

In my experience teachers only really 'know' students once they're into Y9/10 and the teacher has seen them year-on-year.

Dungeondragon15 · 09/03/2018 10:31

Obviously, they might not know them well in year 7 but they can still give an idea of how they have done in tests, what they will be doing for the rest of the year etc. We usually only talk for three or four minutes. At my children's school, I assume that parents of those who are struggling or misbehaving (a small minority) will discuss with teachers at other times. Parents evening is surely just a quick chat...

PandasRock · 09/03/2018 10:34

That just highlights a lot that is wrong with the system, though Pengggwn. My teachers knew me well in year 7. My dd’s teachers will know her well in year 7 - already, 6 months away from even joining the school (dd2 is in year 6) some of them know her better than the impression given on this thread from parents/teachers.

The difference being she will be in a much smaller school, with manageable class sizes and adequate staffing.

PandasRock · 09/03/2018 10:36

I would hate to think that my child was going through years 7/8/9 not being known by teachers - coasting, maybe, or needs overlooked/not noticed. That’s a lot of time going to waste, and potentially a lot of bad habits forming needing to be unpicked, or a lot of potential disregarded.

halcyondays · 09/03/2018 10:40

At ours you queue up to see the teacher, no appointments are made.

WickedGoodDoge · 09/03/2018 10:57

I was at DD’s S1 parent’s evening last night (think that’s the same as Y7?). I did see every teacher though her school cheats a bit and lots of teachers turn up half an hour before the official start. If you know this you can get round all the big hitters before 90% of the parents turn up. Grin

I did think it was important for me to see as many teachers as possible. She will be taking a different range of classes in S2 and at this time next year will be making her Nat5 choices for S3/S4. From going through this previously with DS, parents evening is the time to find out whether her current Nat5 leanings are sensible. All her teachers do seem to know her fairly well as they did in previous years with DS and we got lots of valuable advice.

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