Crap gift givers and getting one for myself instead

[Eltonjohnssyrup]

All I want for Mother’s Day this weekend is a mug which has some sort of Mum or Mummy thing on it. This is what I have wanted for the last 6 Mother’s Days since I became a Mum and have never got it.

This is because DH never, ever buys presents until the last minute. So now he takes the kids to buy presents at the last minute too. We don’t have a big budget but we have a Poundland and a Morrison’s two minutes walk from our house and they had some really nice mugs this year. I’ve been mentioning it for weeks. I made my coffee this morning and DS said ‘Oh we’re going to buy you a mug on Saturday.’ My heart just sank. This happens every year. Their Dad leaves it right up to the last minute and they end up with the dregs that nobody else wants to buy to choose from. Last year I got loose tea with a tea strainer and I don’t even drink tea. I wouldn’t mind if the kids had picked something crap because they thought I’d like it, but they get something crap because there is nothing nice left to get! I walked through the shops this morning and they’ve all got about half a shelf of Mother’s Day stuff left which really is just the crap nobody else wanted, either horrible or pointless stuff. It’s all Easter gear now, no ‘Mum’ mugs left anywhere. If he’d just gone last weekend or even earlier this week he could have got a mug for £1!

It was the same on Valentine’s Day. Got this bizarre dried flower thing and he was all ‘Oh I thought it was a bit different from roses’ when we both knew full bloody well it was the only thing the supermarket had left at 6pm on the 14th. Same at Xmas. He just goes out on the 24th panicking and picks up any old shit. I have tried to mention this well away from the holidays concerned and have pointed out to him if you leave things until the last minute you get the crap nobody wants which will be in the ‘sale’ bin the next day.

I just let it go but I’m really upset I’m probably not going to get my sodding mug again and the kids are going to be disappointed too.

Should I order one myself of Amazon and give it to him to give to them and just pretend I don’t know what it is so the children are not disappointed? It just feels crap having to deceive them coz their Dad can’t be arsed.

Does anywhere have stock? It'd be nice to take them yourself to let them choose a bit earlier than dad manages.

Well your dh probably is it going to make the effort so if you want the mug woman bloody well order it, the dc can wrap it and give it to you nd you can who the surprise face!

Order it and tell the lazy sod to pick up some wrapping paper so the dc can wrap it

All you want is a Mug mug ffs, your hardly some demanding diva yet he struggles to even give you that...

Aldi have some lovely pieces - they keep flashing up on my time line!

Order your own, wrap it - leave it on a childs bed clearly addressed to Mummy ... child will be delighted and come running with it to you.

Here's what I would do - Birthday/Valentine's/Christmas etc Mark off on the calendar an hour (an a half) of for a family activity two weeks before the day. Stop outside said supermarket/shopping centre and say 'Kids, Daddy is taking you in to choose a mothers day present'. Your DH needs to up the game.

If you have waited six years for a mug. You can wait a little longer. See what Sunday brings first. Has you DH considered shopping online. M&S do nice flowers plants, amazon wish list, notinthehighstreet for birthdays. All save him 'shopping'

My DH is a rubbish present giver and I am determined the children will not inherit this. Last Christmas I gave the them (twins age 9) £15 each and we went to Tiger and they had to spend £5 per person on mummy, daddy and their sibling. They had to think about what they knew the person would like. They could ask mummy and daddy for 'advice' but all the present had to be surprises on Christmas morning and they had to wrap all the gifts themselves. The presents were great. They loved it and want to do it again this year. Even my DH agreed it was a good thing to do.

KC225, I think that’s great advice, thank you.

I’ve ordered a mug of amazon. But it feels a bit shit because I feel like when I look at it, it’ll remind me I had to get it myself.

I wouldn’t normally let it bother me this badly. But I’ve spent the last few months undergoing some quite worrying tests and only got the all clear from them a fortnight ago. Then on Sunday a very close relative was given some very poor news about her health which means I also expect to be bereaved quite soon. It just feels like on top of that he really could have bought a bloody mug.

You sound like me. My eldest dc is 6. All I asked for, for my first mothers day was a travel type ceramic cup with lid with "if mums were flowers I'd pick you" on it. £5 in asda. I didn't get anything on mothers day. He picked me up from a hen weekend (so apparently that was my present). Every time he went to do something I honestly thought he was going to come back in and surprise me with flowers. I bought myself the cup that week, it was the last one left. He doesn't really bother getting me anything, but my children make me lovely things in school. This year I've already ordered my own new release book off amazon (email today to say it's been dispatched- yeahy). The annoying thing is my eldest dc loves giving presents. I guess me and my dh just have different outlooks. He couldn't care if he doesn't get anything on father's day/ his birthday or Christmas.

tiredmum snap! Absolutely. My DH has been impossible to buy presents for since music on CDs and films on DVDs stopped being a thing. He’s not bothered about presents and he lives quite a simple life. He likes watching sport on tv and beer at the weekend but he dpesn’t Have any particular interests or hobbies and he’s not really interested in ‘stuff’ or how things look. Just functionality. And he’s very much one of these people who believes how you treat people every day is more important than big occasions. So not a bad soul, he just doesn’t really understand these things so doesn’t really make the effort because I don’t think he understands how hurtful it can be either.

In his book if you already have a mug you don’t need another no matter what it says on it!

My DH is pretty great all year round, but one year for my birthday I got a box of chocs (I don't eat chocs so the DC ate them), a bottle of the champagne HE likes, and a book that I already had. I even found the Tesco receipt a few weeks later and he'd gone in the day before my birthday. None of it wrapped. I told him I was disappointed, and he said 'well I have been busy this week'. I could have accepted this if my birthday had been sprung upon him, but FGS it's on the same bloody date every year! Stop yourself being let down again and get your own mug, and like others have said, let him sort out the wrapping.