Mother's Day

[UptownFunkkk]

My mum and I have had a fall out within the last few months, it's not really repairable. I've tried. She's not a very nice woman and years of little things have eventually come to a halt and our relationship is done. I won't be seeing her this Mother's Day, I'm sad about it but she's not interested.

It's my very first Mother's Day with my own child. She's 9 months old and I'm so excited. I hope my OH has got me a card from her! I know she doesn't understand but I really can't wait to spend the day with her especially as it's days short of me returning to work from maternity leave.

My OH isn't big on making a fuss on Mother's Day. His mum has hinted she wants a fuss so he's decided he and his sister will cook for her. If me and our daughter go, I'll barely see her as the grandparents make such a fuss and don't leave her alone for the hours we'll be there.

I've said, why doesn't he go spend the day with his mum (I'm fine with this) and let me and our litttle one do something together. He's took the huff that I don't want to go to his parents house.

AIBU? He knows I'm hurt I'll not see my mum and knows how much it means to me as my first Mother's Day....

It's YOUR day. You get to say what you want to do an if you don't want to spend it with someone else's mother, DH will have to suck it up. It's not as if you are saying to him don't go!

Have a lovely first mother's day on your own. If DH thinks he needs to take DD as an offering, hard luck.

He might need it all spell out to understand.
It's your first Mother's Day.
It's the first not talking to your mum.
When you visit his parents they monopolise your child.
You just want to spend it with your baby.

If you feel like you want to appease him then offer to visit them on Saturdays next weekend so they can see Baby. But really stress how important your first Mother's Day is.

There'll be no fuss planned, I'll be lucky if he even thinks to get me a card. That's all I want, a card for my first one!

So I figured I could make my own fun with the LO while he fusses over his own mum. He seems to think I'm being unreasonable.

Thanks for your reply!

No your not unreasonable, you offered the perfect solution imo.

He visits his mum on mother’s day and you and your dd get a mother & daughter day.

Later tonight talk about it again and explain that your first mother’s day is important to you so you will be having the day with dd

I have told him I expect the card though, let's see if he remembers 🙈

DD is 9 months... let her pick you out a pretty card! Hold her over the display!

Tell him actually you want a bloody fuss made!! His dm hasn't pushed his dd into the world for him!! And you want recognition for it!! How about you invite his dm for tea /cakes after lunch?

I don't want to see like I'm being a diva but asking for fuss 🙈🙈

Poor you, I remember how difficult o found it when I first became a mum. I needed more support than ever. Not only are you a new mum who has just gone NC with your own mother but your husband has got the huff with you over your perfectly reasonable suggestion 🙄 Seriously, you have every reason to be excited, it's your first ever Mother's Day and it's special. Maybe you could make a little momento card with your baby, you could do a hand print/finger paint type thing, it might not be the same as having a 'surprise' card but it'll be wrapped up in memories for you and you'll have her little handprint saved 😍

Another who says your day you get to decide, he wants to spend it with his mother fine off you go and you want to spend it with just your child so he doesn’t get to decide for you.

I’ve packed my Dh off to his mother for mother’s day, me and the kids are off out for lunch, have a lovely mother’s day and enjoy.

Thank you everyone

And here I am, up at 5:30 with the baby while he has himself a lie in 🙈

Wake him up, pass him the baby and say that you are celebrating your first mothers’ Day by having a lie in. Use those words and if he complains, respond with something non-verbal.

Think he could ha r said to his sister, can I pop over later as its OPs first Mother's Day but glad you are looking forward to the day with you and your daughter.

After years of spending mother's day with DH's mum (NC with my own) I have reclaimed mother's day as my own.He's taking the kids to see her and I'm going shopping on my own all day.I'll see the kids for a movie and a snuggle in the evening.It's the only way I get to have a day not looking after every else and feeling resentful about spending it with his mum and family.Ive explained why purely to them and they all get it.Good luck!

My DH is the same wheb it comes to his mother, he canbot say no to her. That is precisely why he will be spending the afternoon with her and me and the children are not going with him, we are doing our own thing. Don't think I've got a card this year either not stuffed about a fuss or presents but i love a card with the little ones scribbles in

tStick to your guns OP. You expect at the very least a card (and don't do more than this for Fathers' Day).
Make yourself a card/picture- dip baby's hand/foot in paint and make a print and date it. if no paint then draw round baby's hand instead.
Have a lovely day reading/singing to and with baby and maybe a bath together. To hell with the sulking man baby.

No, it's not. It's an incorrect grammar thing.

It maybe grammatically incorrect but it's still a geographical thing.

Sorry wrong thread!

Hope you have a lovely day with your DD OP!

Did you get your card?

I did actually, a lovely card and some prosecco. Turned out better than expected! We also compromised and all went together to see MIL for an hour then we've had a day out together :)

Thank you everyone x

Absolutely smashing update OP :)

Have a lovely evening !

Thank you very much. You too!