Expensive Birthday Parties

[Obi1Kenobi]

My eldest DD is in reception and will be turning 5 soon. The trend in nursery was to have smallish parties that were affordable. Now fast forward a year and the average party my DD gets invited too cost about £450 and the whole class gets invited. We simply can’t afford this and I know DD will be very disappointed. When did birthdays for small kids become insanely expensive. I have two other children too. I don’t want to keep up with the Joneses but my DD has her heart set on a specific disco softplay package which costs £300!!!! AIBU to think that I just knock her expectations on the head now and invite a few close friends out for a special birthday treat rather than 28 kids and counting?

5 yo is old enough to understand that something is just too expensive.

We’ve done whole class parties relatively inexpensively by hiring the local community hall/church hall for a few hours and running a very traditional kids’ party with party games and a birthday tea.

They’ve always been very successful and the children seem to enjoy them just as much as expensive venues.

If you aren’t up to that or there aren’t suitable venues in your area you’ll just have to say “no” I’m afraid.

One of my friends did a local village hall party with cd music, traditional party games and home prepared party food. It was cheap, cheerful and everybody came and enjoyed it. Your DC will be just as happy with that as will the rest of the class.

My ds has had shared parties with another child in his class which halved the cost - could that be a possibility?
Some of the best parties have been the less expensive ones he’s been to - party at the local park and one on the beach.
I think that at 5 she is old enough to understand that the soft play disco party is too expensive - could you hire a hall and have your own disco? With party games and balloons.

wow that's a lot of money. Do you have any council run soft plays in leassure centres we have on that is smaller but it charges about 60 for the hour then 12 for 30 mins in the food room. We have been to a few there. Other ideas would be do you have a children's play cafe they will sometimes do birthday hire and can be cheaper. Church hall and do your own disco and party games. For smaller numbers you could do party at home or take to local area and do a treasure hunt , I know someone who arranged to all meet at large local park and put a marquee up and provided a picnic obviously parents stayed with the children.

Cheap hall. Bouncy castle and order some arts crafts. Honestly at 5 she'll be happy with a party like that. I can't see how a five year old has their heart set on anything with out some encouragement??

I never said no to my 3 children when they wanted things that I couldn't afford and used a credit card.
It was a big mistake.
In their teens their asks caused me no end of stress and guilt and I wished I'd said no at the beginning.
My SIL never ever spoilt her children & didn't care if they got upset at not having it all. Her teens worked and saved and never nagged for iPods etc.
I don't dwell on this but I do known my way was ridiculous and it started at the early school parties and presents.

We've just hosted our first 'school' birthday party for DS. We had about 6 kids from his class, 3/4 other friends, pizza, sausage rolls and cake at home. Loads of wine for the parents. The kids entertained themselves and had a ball and all the parents got sloshed. Honestly I wouldn't get involved in the soft play party stuff, it's too expensive and the kids have just as much fun jumping on your bed and pretending it's a magic airplane or something. They're only 5!

Just have 3 or 4 for tea.

Agree with Pikued about saying “No” and thankfully my kids know hey can’t get everything they want all the time at that given moment as I can’t afford it.

The problem is at school there is almost a party every weekend and it’s the whole class plus other friends/family. I think my DD is expecting the same type of party. No way have I encouraged this.

Will look into Council run soft plays as there must be some in this area. I have a set budget which we saved all year for which DD knows and helps (pennies go into the jar). It’s sweet. She is a good kid and I feel she deserves the party she has her heart set on but know she will be happy with an alternative.

I recommend Baker Ross. You can buy arts and crafts for groups on there. Money boxes. Mosaic sets. Mugs. Throw in a cheap hall and those cone sweets for a goody bag. Oh and pass the parcel. Cheap (ish) party.

The best party bag we have had was products from Baker Ross!

She's not friends with all the other 29 kids so don't feel guilty about not having a whole class party. Ignore the pressure to invite everyone and spend money that you don't have. You can plan a party at a fraction of the cost and she will still have as much fun.

My DS is 5, almost 6, we’ve just booked his party at a soft play centre, they’re providing food and party bags, I’ve told DS he can invite x amount of friends, which he was OK with.

You can’t invite everyone and why not buck the trend, or start a new one of your own.

When my Sister was little we hired a hall, did a girlie party. Bought a load of glittery make up, some hair crimpers, made a load of pizzas and played a few girlie games. They all got party bags with bobbles and a lip gloss in, with a slice of cake and sweets. She’s in her 20s now and they still talk about it...

Parties don’t have to be expensive, kids don’t care really, they just want fun with their friends. DS wanted a super hero party, so was going to hire a hall, get super hero bouncy castle, play super hero games and make super hero food, but it’s actually cheaper for the soft play party for 10-12 kids and he’s happy. xx

Can you team up with other parents from her class who‘s kids have birthdays around the same date? The norm at my son’s school is around 3 kids having parties together - £450 divided by 3 is a lot better :)

Where do you live? That’s a lot of money for a 5 yr olds party! What about a local gymnastics place or going to soft play for 5-10 children and then party tea at your house.

Would second looking at sharing a party.

Or having just the girls, rather than everyone in the class.

£450!

How much?

That's crazy even if you live in Buckingham Palace.

Community centre with a bouncy castle?
Your own music?

I would either price have the soft play disco party but only invite all girls only, or hire a hall and DJ, make your own food and invite all 30.

This type of parties hasn’t stop yet for my year 2 DC. You have a few more years to look forward to this.

£300 is pretty cheap for 30 kids. They are usually over £10 a head. And you need to add cake and party bags too.

For my & DDs 10th birthday party, I hired the church where we used to go to mums & tots group from when they were babies until well into primary school in the school holidays!! They charged me £30 for the hall & the use of the kitchen & seating area next to the kitchen, Then I paid £90 for a disco man & his helper to come in for a 2 hour party, they did up to date music plus all the party classics like Agadoo & the Hokey Cockey, plus games like pass the parcel & musical bumps!! Food came from Iceland -like frozen pizzas, home-made sandwiches!!
I even did party bags on the cheap which all the kids seemed happy with!!
The whole party came in at under £170

Obi1Kenobi

The leisure centre idea someone suggested looks good, in my area for example (West Midlands) they charge £60-£120 for 15-20 kids without food. Meanwhile they dedicated party centres start at £175 without food.

Could you look at joint parties if any of you DD’s classmates have birthdays near hers?

Joint parties are very normal at my DC’s school, over half the whole class parties we’ve had invites for have been joint parties. Makes it a lot more affordable for the parents.

My cost cutting tips:

Also be very clear that the birthday invitation is for the named child only & not siblings. The wording can be 'Due to restricted numbers at the venue, we can only accommodate the named child etc.'

I've always given 3 weeks notice, the standard here is 6 weeks notice. I usually get about 10 people unable to come due to other commitments. Which is fine for me, 20 kids are easier to manage than 30.

Be clear about RSVP dates especially if it's a pre paid activity. Maybe say if you don't reply by x date then we'll assume you're not coming.

Buy a boxed set of books from the Book People to split amongst the party bags. You'll just need cake & a few sweets. Job done.

Buy takeaway boxes from Anazon or Ebay & put sandwiches, drink, crisps, a satsuma & a little treat bar. Saves on wasted food.

M&S birthday cakes are good value and tasty. No need to spend £££ on three tier -wedding type-- cakes like they do here.

Always look in clearance sections for party bag fillers, prizes & tableware. Wilkos, poundshop, tesco clearance aisle, book people & yellow moon company are all good for bargains.

It’s my DS 5th birthday party tomorrow. We’re renting out a local community centre which is £40. Bought a load of paint, glue, felt, mugs, window reflectors, wind chimes etc and they’ll be doing crafts for an hour, then food, then a disco (My phone, Spotify and a speaker 😂). Catering it myself and spent £50 on food, plus at least £40 on craft. They aren’t having a party bag, just a piece of cake as they’ll be taking their craft home with them. There’s 40 kids coming so I feel it’s worked out cheap (even though the local soft play would have been cheaper as it’s £100 for 30 with a buffet)