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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend is being taken for a ride.

6 replies

BrollyDolly · 07/03/2018 14:57

I've known my friend for around 15 years but haven't been in continuous contact as both been busy with life.

We were having a catch up today and he said that his partner of 6 years has split up with him saying that they had grown apart. Fair enough so he moved out. They've got one child together which starts school in September.

Back in the summer over a catch up he mentioned that she told him to look elsewhere for sex as she doesn't want to continue a sexual relationship with him. She had to have a hysterectomy after the birth of the child and is now saying due to this she doesn't feel sexual desire anymore. He thought this was weird but said he had no interest in anyone else.

Since the split a couple of weeks ago it has become apparent she is expecting him to have their child every single weekday after he finishes work plus every weekend too. During the week he has to go back to the house where they both lived and wait til she comes home and the weekend the child stays at his.

She works 2/3 evenings in a restaurant so he can't work out why she's out every night. She is claiming she's working but I highly doubt she's working every night without a night off.

Is she being unreasonable to expect this of him? A friend of ours saw her in the pub one of the nights with a guy that wasn't local. She says he's just a friend and nothing going on.

Obviously he loves his daughter very much and is happy to see her/have her but now it's just dawned on him that he won't have even a moment to himself to do things for himself like go to the gym/see friends.

How does he stop her walking all over him. He's the type of guy that just believes everything she says whereas to me there was alarm bells since the summer!

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 07/03/2018 15:00

he'd be better off going to court and applying for proper court order access tbh

KittenBeast · 07/03/2018 15:01

He is being taken for a ride, poor thing. Does he still lover her?

Twogoround · 07/03/2018 15:03

Tell him there are such things as babysitter.

BrollyDolly · 07/03/2018 15:05

He is still very much in love with her. He's absolutely heart broken. Does it cost a lot to go to court for this type of thing?

OP posts:
Jon66 · 07/03/2018 15:06

Negotiate some rules regarding residence and visits. If they can't do it between themselves pay for mediation or a solicitor.

Jon66 · 07/03/2018 15:08

Court is unecessary, if they can't afford a solicitor or mediation use a mutual friend to 'referee'.

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