To think a lot of what we do is just passing time till death?

[crunchymint]

This is going to sound like I am depressed, and I am not. But a lot of what people do is really just filling in our time until we die. Watching TV, MNing, going for walks. All just ways ultimately of using up the hours we have.
I guess this is more an existential question. If you are religious there is an obvious purpose to life. On a biological level the purpose of life is simply survival of the species - individuals don't matter. On an individual non religious level, life doesn't really seem to have any purpose. We are simply filling in our time till death, and on the way if we are decent people, trying to help others avoid too much pain.

Tea AND cake, of course

Well this is depressing! It’s not something I like to think about I have anxiety as it is

Noonoo if you thought Dutch maybe it was Holbein The Ambassadors? Another painting with an anamorphic skull representing human mortality?

rocketgirl22 I'm very pleased that you have had an all-clear diagnosis, you must be very relieved and really feeling happy.

I had a bit of an existential crisis about 5 years ago after I lost my younger brother to cancer - he was 28. I became depressed and couldn't think about anything else other than proving to myself that he was ok on the other side. I needed to prove to myself that there was an afterlife. I then started to panic about myself, how it could have just as easily been me. Thankfully I had a wonderful grief counsellor who helped me through it.

However losing my brother has made me so fucking grateful to be alive. Sure there are massive mundane parts of day to day life, but I practise gratitude and joy and whereas a few months ago I was really despairing of getting "older", I know that it is a privilege and now I can't wait to hit my 40's later next year.

My 30's have been spent getting married, having babies, buying homes, nurturing, rearing, teaching, working on my career, working on my marriage (sometimes), being needed at every single turn and looking after everyone else first and myself a step behind.

My 40's will be spent becoming far more selfish but in a good way. Focusing on the things I love to do. Playing the piano, singing, performing, running, meditating, cooking new recipes. I want to take up yoga and finally be able to touch my toes. I want to start a new business. I want to learn to dance like Michael Jackson. All the things I said I wanted to do in my 20's that I put to one side to do "later", I can do them. Because "later" is rapidly becoming "now".

I fill each day with something that brings me joy. Today I got up at 5.20am and took my dog out for a lovely 2 1/2 mile walk and watched the sun rising. I came in and had a cup of coffee in the still peaceful morning before my kids got up and the hustle of the morning started.

The tiniest of joys are what give my life meaning and those joys are what I will continue to focus on until I die (peacefully in my bed, at 100 years old, surrounded by my children, grandchildren, all who will be totally awed that this woman filled her life with so much). That's my plan anyway

I think about this all the time.. all we can do is fill it with things we love doing because the days do go fast and we do wish them away.

Love this thread ☺️

I feel there is way too much pressure on people to 'achieve'. Children are enrolled in after school clubs every night of the week, life is SO busy. It's the rat race.

People need to relax, take a step back and appreciate what they have.

I do very little with my time off but I am ok with that.

Do what makes you happy. If that's packing your days full of stuff then fine. Equally, if you want to slob - that's also fine imo.

By don't let other people define you.

skorpion Ha ha - ENJOY the tea AND cake! And make it an extra large portion!

Horsemad - I feel there is way too much pressure on people to 'achieve'.

I agree. I want my children to be content. I tell my children their worth is not, in my eyes, measured by their 'achievements' at all, and i wouldn't want them to measure themselves that way either. (the older 3 are in their 20s so they do understand what i'm on about )

The pursuit of being happy in your own skin, content with your own company and at peace with your own choices ultimately is the most worthwhile of all surely.

Op, it sounds like you need to follow your heart and do something you feel passionate about.

A worthwhile life. I hate that concept. Every life is worthwhile.

I know life is pointless and don't think there's any higher purpose. But for me my purpose is to make the best of this time I have on earth.

Unfortunately, for me, that's quite stressful. I am often paralysed with indecision at the weekends - what is the best way for me to spend this day? Should I do this or that? What would be the best thing to do to improve myself? It's exhausting.

I am lucky enough (touch wood) not to have had any brushes with death but seem to have had the "wake up call" people get from such experiences and I am not sure it's a good thing.

DH always tells me to relax, to enjoy life and not worry about everything being so fucking WORTHY, but I can't help it.

As a result of this innate need I seem to hold to have the perfect existence I never stop, and am always tired.

I think that I've lost the key to just enjoying life for its own sake, in all its futility.

A life is not really worthwhile if all you feel you are doing is marking time until you die?

But my point is that is all any of us are doing.

As an example of this, I don't work Fridays and do an 18 mile run every week to "make the most of the day". Actually, some days, I would quite like to slob out and watch crap but I can't let myself because that would be A Waste of Life.

Heron, take back some control and don't run one Friday

Crunchy, I am finding the point of this thread very worthless.

According to you, it is all pointless because we are all going to die. You hate the concept of a worthwhile life whilst you are still alive.

Maybe you are your own worst enemy?

Sorry if I find this all a bit of a waste of space and frankly annoying.

@heron98

Seriously, sometimes doing nothing - just watching the world or procrastinating is an great experience.

You have to try and remember that there is no one you have to justify anything to except yourself. You talk about their having to be be a point to your life, but realistically your great great grandchildren won't even know your name. I have no idea what my great Grandfather was called or what he did.

Live for now. I have great memories of binge watching Breaking Bad on Netflix

blueshoes I am not sure you understand the point of an existential question.

Crunchy, that is true. An existential question is pointless as is the debate of it and the lives led living it existing. I am not convinced it adds to the store of knowledge or happiness. Hence waste of time.

Glass half empty rather than half full sort of morose navel gazing bullshit.

You are making me laugh.
And actually in real life I am a continual optimist.

Oh, but you crack on

Best thread I have ever read and I have read quite a lot. I had a very near miss with death eight years ago and until very recently was just so happy to be alive everything felt magical.
And now I’m returning -thankfully to what someone up thread called the motorway. And am probably doing a lot of navel gazing as I no longer work and my kids are now adults.
I agree that we should just aim to enjoy the ride and bear in mind it is finite. That to me is optimism and sometimes when I’m wondering what great big good thing I should be doing is worth remembering.
I do the best I can and try to deal with anxiety knowing that all that matters is that I have loved and been loved.

Great thread. I think this all the time. I agree you can try and give your own life a purpose by finding a cause (helping those less fortunate, in difficulty, animal conservation) and spending time pursuing it.

But ultimately that is pointless too as those you help will die anyway and I personally am convinced that all life on earth as we know it now will become extinct at some point (like the dinosaurs) so there is simply no point to anything at all!

To those of you who say having DC's gave your life meaning, I would like to know why and how? I have DCs but that doesn't change anything I've said above.

I went through a phase of feeling quite depressed at thought that nothing I do really matters. I seem to have come through that now, and seem to have found a renewed zest for life, despite and in spite of knowing that it is all completely pointless!

This is a great thread! I'm a nurse (acute setting) and have looked after so many people who have just randomly had a totally life changing event/accident/illness alter the course of their life. It really has made me quite fatalistic. Obviously, we have some ability to shape our lives, but my honest view is that we are just another animal species and that life is largely based on chance. If we don't see animal lives as having higher purpose, then why do we feel that human life has to be so much more significant?
and on the way if we are decent people, trying to help others avoid too much pain
I am quite lucky, I feel, that I am truly able to take genuine pleasure from the small things in life, but, on the flip side of that, I am also over-burdened by thinking of 'man's inhumanity to man' and other species.

But ultimately that is pointless too as those you help will die anyway and I personally am convinced that all life on earth as we know it now will become extinct at some point (like the dinosaurs) so there is simply no point to anything at all!

Well technically the Sun will sterilise the planet in a billion years, so you could extrapolate that everything everywhere is pointless. Hence why its important to just enjoy yourself.