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AIBU?

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Work mates have disappeared

5 replies

MammyBear27 · 07/03/2018 09:24

First time I've posted but thought this might be a good place to see if other people feel pushed out at work? Am currently off sick for Hyperemesis, have been for five weeks now. Had to be hospitalised at one point and given 8 bags of fluids as I had become so dehydrated. My boss has told me flat out she doesn't want me to come back untill ALL vomiting has ceased. So even though I'm only vomiting 1-2 times a day now (13 +4) I'm being told to stay off. Work bosses were aware this was coming as it was the same on my first pregnancy (this is my second) and I knew it was coming too but it has been worse this time and I'm now feeling rather depressed and low at being constantly nauseous for 2 months! Ever since I have been off my usual circle of good friends in work have all just dropped me, I haven't heard from anyone except my pregnant friend in one of our outreach clinics (who is wonderful and supportive but busy with her impending delivery) and my "closest" friend in the office. However she only messages me to basically check am I coming back and that they are struggling then disappears again. It's not by choice that I'm off and I would SERIOUSLY prefer to be back (I happen to love my job most of the time) but now I'm dreading going back and being dismissed and sneered at for being "melodramatic" and "over reacting and a skiver" which can be the attitude there (work mates lately have become very judgy people over the last year due to poor man management). I already feel like shit most of the time and this is making me feel even more isolated and low. Sorry to moan but outside of work I have one close friend, who I can't approach as she had an abortion in December and finds it difficult to be around me/pregnant people right now (understandably). I just feel lonely. I tried at first just messaging as we had always done in group chats ECT but I just seemed invisible so I just gave up and now I hate the thought of being there

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 07/03/2018 09:34

Talk to your boss... get them to explain your situation, as in it is their decision that you stay off, not details!

That and/or tell that one workplace 'friend' to stop complaining, you are ill and that they need to have a little compassion rather than join in the stupidity!

I hope it all works out for you, soon!

Annab1983 · 07/03/2018 09:51

Sorry to hear this, some workplaces just don't seem to believe in or appreciate pregnancy related illness it seems.. after being admitted to hospital several times due to high blood pressure (in an already high risk pregnancy) I was told to stop work by the doctors, bearing in mind it was only a couple of weeks before my maternity leave was to officially start anyway and I had given proper notice and then complied with sick procedures 100% it shouldn't have been that big a deal for my workplace.. they seem to have taken the hump at this though and didn't acknowledge my baby's birth, not even a card 😞 i have contributed to at least 4 other ladies babies card and vouchers this last year so it's not that it's not the done thing there.. your situation is a little different hopefully it's just that they don't want to disturb you, in fact I think they are not supposed to do more than just check in on you.. I however can't face going back and am looking for another job..

Beansonapost · 07/03/2018 09:55

Work friends are not your friends. They're people you interact with at work.

It's a bit shit... but that's how it is.Thanks

Ragusa · 07/03/2018 10:02

Work friends sometimes are your friends! I have lots of proper friends at work Confused

OP sorry you are having a tricky time, it sounds hard. Not long till you have your little bundle to make up for it all although it probably seems like ages away!

MammyBear27 · 07/03/2018 12:30

Thanks everyone for replying, Curiousaboutsamphire I will take your advice and speak to my deputy, she's a nice woman and approachable. Annab I'm sorry to hear you have been ignored like that, that's really petty of them! I have always socialised with work mates, outside of work I basically just spend time with family (came back to the country a few years back after leaving the army and never really reconnected with my old civvi mates) My sister is dragging me to a playgroup on Tuesday so I can meet some new people who are at the same point in their lives e.g. kids as most of my mates are not and can't seem to relate?

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