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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask how you spend Mother's/Father's Day?

19 replies

SunshinenSparkles · 06/03/2018 23:41

My DP has announced that he's having a piss up with his mates watching football etc. on mother's day so it'll just be me and our 3 year old on Sunday. I'll probably take him to my mum's for a visit and see where the day goes.

Father's day is generally spent with DP putting his feet up and playing computer games/watching TV/drinking beer.

What do you guys get up to?

This is my first ever thread (I think)...yes I'm a long time lurker :P

OP posts:
PaperdollCartoon · 06/03/2018 23:43

What have you done previous years? Sounds like you’d like him to do something for you, have you told him this?

We are currently childfree but tend to split the day between mine and DPs Mum in some way. Actually usually the Saturday night with my mum and Sunday with DPs Mum.

Titsywoo · 06/03/2018 23:53

Wow. No offence but your dp sounds like a dick. We don't do anything big just go for lunch but the kids do cards and presents that dh helps them buy.

Original poster
SunshinenSparkles · 06/03/2018 23:55

I'd like to at least have some family time on those days but really, I can't say I'm surprised with this not being the first time. I remember a birthday where he sent me to a salon to get my hair done at midday with us planning on going out for a meal that night and then while I was there, he popped in to say he was going out on the town with his mates. I wasn't impressed.

Generally on mother's day, if he doesn't have plans then he will be around....usually playing computer games mind you.

I'm just really coming to notice how he treats mother's day as any other day but then expects to sit on his arse playing games with headphones on for his father's day claiming 'but it's father's day!'. With the same reasoning, he sleeps until midday but is mysteriously 'busy with mates' on mother's day.

OP posts:
SchoolMoney · 06/03/2018 23:58

If he tries that 'but it's fathers day' shite after doing nothing for you just say it is and he should go to his Dad's.

Original poster
SunshinenSparkles · 06/03/2018 23:59

titsywoo that's all I'm asking really. Just some time together as a family, have a nice lunch and a little play in the park or something.

OP posts:
Original poster
SunshinenSparkles · 07/03/2018 00:01

SchoolMoney Sadly his dad is no longer with us but he never used to do anything for him either. I always bought a card and a book or something for him to make up for the otherwise shittiness. His dad never knew.

OP posts:
lakeshoreliving · 07/03/2018 00:05

What would happen if you said that your version of Mother's Day was going to happen? That you expected him to do what you would like to do?

Original poster
SunshinenSparkles · 07/03/2018 00:13

I told him I was hoping for family time and he sniggered a bit and said he is going and won't change his plans.

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SchoolMoney · 07/03/2018 03:24

Can you spend it with your family? And remember the snigger if he has double standards again.

EngagedWithALeaf · 07/03/2018 03:33

I would tell him right now - whatever happens on mother’s day will be mirrored on Father’s Day. So fine if he wants to go out with mates - but you’ll be doing that come June....

TonicAndTonic · 07/03/2018 03:48

i would tell him right now - whatever happens on mother’s day will be mirrored on Father’s Day. So fine if he wants to go out with mates - but you’ll be doing that come June....

This wouldn't bother my DP at all - his family have never celebrated mother's/father's Day so he properly doesn't get the fuss. He says they were invented by shops to sell cards and presents. This year will be my first as a mum and I don't think we'll be doing anything special (I'm not going to piss and moan at him to do something, that would kind of spoil it anyway).

Original poster
SunshinenSparkles · 07/03/2018 14:37

I told him that I'll be doing something on father's day and he can look after our son for the day. He seems fine with that...until father's day rocks round when he'll probably moan at me but we'll see.

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 07/03/2018 14:38

Not loads, we might go visit my DHs moms grave and probably have a roast in the afternoon. My own mom is away for the weekend so I won't see her that day

Hotpinkangel19 · 07/03/2018 14:40

My mum died in June so I'm dreading it to be honest.

Heartofglass12345 · 07/03/2018 14:42

He sounds like a delight to be with Hmm

Trinity66 · 07/03/2018 14:42

Hotpinkangel19 sorry for your loss :(

Gatehouse77 · 07/03/2018 14:44

Nothing special.

Mothering Sunday is about going home to the church where you were christened and has nothing to do with mothers. It's simply commercialisation and money making.

The fact that they had to 'add' a father's day is yet again about money.

Because we're not religious we don't do mothering sunday and because we don't want to be sucked into spending money for a particular day we don't do father's day either.

Some might call us tight...stuck up...missing the point...etc. Not bothered. We discussed it as a family and concluded that they should appreciate us all year round!

CautionTape · 07/03/2018 14:46

I'll be on a plane on Sunday so I'm visiting my DC at university on Saturday.

Original poster
SunshinenSparkles · 07/03/2018 17:39

I'm sorry for your loss Hotpink Flowers the day will no doubt be tough for you x

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