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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU Re threatened Disciplinary

92 replies

MrsMaxwell · 06/03/2018 23:39

Manager (who will no longer be so in a few weeks as having a new manager) was asked by their manager to send an email to organise a meeting.

After 3 weeks she hadn’t done it and asked me to do it as she was about to go on leave.

I did it as it needed to be done urgently as was regarding the project I run no longer being funded.

I asked what she wanted me to say (she was vague and unspecific) so I wrote it, got a colleague to check my wording was ok (about the LA no longer funding this project and looking for a way forward) and sent it to various invitees.

Senior management (and elected members) saw it have gone ballistic. New email sent by managers manager basically saying the same thing I did but longer and more corporate.

My manager now has done my PDR with me and said that she has spoken to HR and decided not to take me to disciplinary but has written several things on it re my “attitude” being mindful or emails and communications I send (apparently it was a direct attack on a desicion that was made) and being disrespectful about senior management (we went through a restructure and everyone including me was slagging off the manager who delivered news to staff in a huge meeting that they were being made redundant and we all said how disgusting it was).

What the fuck do I do? Ignore as she will no longer bey manager? Send an email in reply to PDR outlining that the task was actually hers to do in the first place and she didn’t support me when I asked her to or go to my Union?

OP posts:
Pittcuecothecookbook · 06/03/2018 23:43

Considering the decision was not to take disciplinary action, reflect on your actions (wording, slagging off SLT etc) and take the informal warning on the chin x

MrsMaxwell · 06/03/2018 23:45

There was nothing wrong with my wording it just wasn’t “corporate” enough and if the task was that important she should have done it herself or been more specific when I asked what she wanted me to write.

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 06/03/2018 23:46

You do both. Ensure the union have your back, and send the email chain showing she,asked you to her, HR, and her manager as well.

pinkdonkey · 06/03/2018 23:48

I would want feedback on exactly what content of the email caused the issue and how it could have been worded to avoid this. I would then use it as a steep learning curve and write a reflection on it as part of my PDR. I'm assuming you werent complaining about the management and restructure in the email, I can see that wouldn't go down well. In retrospect it might have been an idea to get someone more senior to check the wording if you werent sure e.g. your managers manager rather than a colleague. I think talking about disciplinaries is a bit harsh, but they are not going down this route. Learn from this brush yourself off and move forward.

Pittcuecothecookbook · 06/03/2018 23:49

I'm not saying there was anything wrong with it, I don't know what it said, but you might want to think honestly about whether your frustration in having to do the task when you felt it should have been your manager came through, for example. Take the feedback constructively.

What will the union or emailing back achieve, when no formal action has been taken. What resolution do you want?

Just move on, and think about whether you want to work there long term and vote with your feet, if it comes to it.

MrsMaxwell · 06/03/2018 23:49

Yeah there is no chain :/ but I was present (in the meeting) when her manager asked her to do it and other colleagues heard her ask me to do it.

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strawberrysparkle · 06/03/2018 23:51

I think it's just one of those things you need to take on the chin as it's not gone formal.

I would send an email to your manager outlining the conversation you had to confirm the points so you have this in writing.

KriticalSoul · 06/03/2018 23:52

as she's leaving, i'd throw her under the bus. fuck her. It was her job, she should at least have read through what you wrote rather than completely passing the buck.

MrsMaxwell · 06/03/2018 23:55

There is the temptation to throw her under the bus anyway as she had been openly bullying another colleague in the office in front of others publicly berating him and when he was off sick asking him in the office in front of others what was wrong with him do she can fill out the forms.

He is leaving as doesn’t want to deal with it so I dunno if my judgement is a bit clouded.

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MrsMaxwell · 06/03/2018 23:56

BUT I called out another colleague regarding sexual harassment a few years ago which was really stressful and in the end he was paid off Hmm

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ChaChaChaCh4nges · 06/03/2018 23:57

I’m not sure why you’re making a big deal about the fact she asked you to organise the meetings - that’s perfectly normal delegation, surely?

Pittcuecothecookbook · 06/03/2018 23:57

What do you actually want to achieve here, what could the organisation do to rectify this? She won't be your manager, the colleague being bullied isn't raising it, you haven got a formal warning on file. I'm not sure they can do anything, even if you do raise it and you're 100% in the right...

pinkdonkey · 07/03/2018 00:01

To be honest it's your managers prerogative to delegate work to you as she sees fit, so I don't think the "it was her job not mine so it's not my fault it's hers " line is going to float. As it was you that sent the email the senior team obviously realise she has delegated the task and have likely spoken to her about this already before she met with you about it.

MrsMaxwell · 07/03/2018 00:03

I want it in writing that this was not my task, it was deemed important enough for a level above me to organise and when it was delegated I was not supported in doing it - if the language was THAT important.

I am just fucking pissed off really and feel like a massive scapegoat for her laziness.

OP posts:
MrsMaxwell · 07/03/2018 00:05

I asked her to check it and she “didn’t have time” as was going home at 2pm hence I asked a colleague.

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ChaChaChaCh4nges · 07/03/2018 00:06

To be honest - and recognising that it’s hard to tell without seeing the email - it sounds quite possible that your language was inappropriate. In your place, I’d reflect on whether she had a point.

strawberrysparkle · 07/03/2018 00:07

I would think possibly higher up management will have raised with her that she shouldn't have delegated this specific task and had a word however they can't tell you that as it would undermine you.

pinkdonkey · 07/03/2018 00:14

I want it in writing that this was not my task

But once she delegated it to you it was your task. If she shouldn't have delegated it that's for her manager to take up with her, not for you to decide.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 07/03/2018 00:14

Find the biggest, heaviest, double decker bus and throw her right under it.

OlennasWimple · 07/03/2018 00:19

I've been in a gazillion meetings where tasks have been allocated to managers, who have then subsequently passed the task on to a member of their team. It's a very very normal thing to do.... Surely?

MrsMaxwell · 07/03/2018 00:20

Considering I was at the meeting where her manager asked her to do it then she would have asked me to do it there and then. She obvs felt it needed her level of management to do it (my manager has been sent on some bollocksy “corporate communications” course).

She left it 3 weeks to do then panicked and asked me to do it and when I asked for specifics she did not give me any.

People who have received the original email and the revised one apologising for the “confusion” have emailed me asking why they have been sent an exact same email just written differently.

This is clearly why I am not at my line Managers level or paid her wage.

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MrsMaxwell · 07/03/2018 00:21

No it’s not normal to delegate stuff like this.

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MarSeeAh · 07/03/2018 00:31

If having this on your PDR has the potential to have an adverse effect on you, either now or in the future, I think it would be a good idea at least to have a chat about it with your union rep and see what they think.

cjholly · 07/03/2018 00:33

Wow, where is your team spirit in helping and support the company you work for? It is typical for managers to delegate tasks to their team my manager does to me and I often do to my team. I think you need to take the feedback on the chin and ask what communications courses are available to you to support your own development. Not all courses are corporate bollox as your so nicely put it.

GnotherGnu · 07/03/2018 00:37

If you were simply organising a meeting, I really struggle to see what you said that could be so objectionable. All that sort of message needs is something like "I've been asked to organise a meeting about XYZ. I would suggest the following dates: Please let me know which would be best for you.

So if there's been all this fuss about it, did you say something over and above that, and if so, what?