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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have gone back to work?

19 replies

Babygal77 · 06/03/2018 22:33

I went back to work 4 weeks ago when my ds was 5 months old. I am very lucky in the fact that I didn’t have to go back as dh has a great wage to support us but I really struggled being at home with ds all day - I love him more than anything but felt I was becoming depressed sitting in all day with no one to talk to. My boss has been great and I work 3 days a week 8:30-5:30 luckil py the building where I work has a nursery in it so I never to far from ds( I don’t pop in as I don’t want to unsettle him but I can see him through the window if I want to). Ever since I have gone back my parents (especially my mum) my sil and my dh have made me feel so guilty about leaving him and keep telling me my place is at home but I still spend 4 great days a week with him and dh only really sees him on a Sunday and he is always at work?

OP posts:

Sals27 · 06/03/2018 22:37

I hope YABNU as I am planning to do the exact same thing

Elephant17 · 06/03/2018 22:53

Of course yanbu if it's what you want to do and baby is happy. I wouldn't be able to or want to do it myself, but we're all different.

Bringmewineandcake · 06/03/2018 23:00

A nursery on site sounds amazing! It would have helped me when returning to work.
It sounds like it was the best thing for you and like you say you now have 4 quality days with ds rather than 7 miserable ones

1stMrsF · 06/03/2018 23:05

It sounds perfect. If it works for you right now, it is perfect. You can make different choices in the future, if you feel you need to.

FranticallyPeaceful · 06/03/2018 23:08

Your place is at home? Are they having a larf?

BewareOfDragons · 06/03/2018 23:11

Tell your DH that if he is that concerned about it, then he should cut back his hours and spend a couple of days at home with his son.

The hypocrisy is stunning. I'd make it clear he is completely out of order in his comments.

And tell your parents and your SIL that they are going to destroy your relationship with them if they don't stop their comments immediately.

Pandoraphile · 06/03/2018 23:35

God no, YADNBU!! First time round dd had to go to nursery because I was studying at Uni. Worked out perfectly well.

Younger dd didn't have to go to nursery because by then I was a SAHP. Nearly killed me. 3 days a week sounds ideal!

altiara · 07/03/2018 00:24

Sounds perfect!

SleepingStandingUp · 07/03/2018 00:26

Well yabu to sit in every day for 5 months when there's disposable income to get out and do stuff together.
Yanbu to go back to work though if that's what keeps you sane.

PhelanThePain · 07/03/2018 00:28

my dh have made me feel so guilty about leaving him and keep telling me my place is at home

Well he knows what he can do then if he thinks a parent should be home looking after the baby. prick.

Fuck the lot of them. If they’re so concered they can look after your baby for you. You get on with your lif and your career.

Thelampshadelady · 07/03/2018 00:29

If YABU then I definitely am. I’m heading back when baby is 3 months.
Good on you for doing what you want.

PhelanThePain · 07/03/2018 00:30

I wonder where he thinks my place is because I’m a single mother so the house relies on my having an income.

Catkins0877 · 07/03/2018 01:13

Stop listening to your parents.Your obviously a grown women.Tell them they are upseting you and this is the way it's working for you.you have perfect dream situation set up in my opinion and perfect work life balance

Longdistance · 07/03/2018 03:03

I wish I had the opportunity to go back ‘early’. I’d have jumped at the chance if my employer had a nursery onsite.

I applaud you op, for keeping your sanity.

Ignore the fuckers!

SMH at your h 🙄 what a twat (sorry).

Pumpkinpie657 · 07/03/2018 03:26

“@BewareOfDragons

Tell your DH that if he is that concerned about it, then he should cut back his hours and spend a couple of days at home with his son.”

^^This! YADNBU.

Locotion · 07/03/2018 03:32

Well done for acting on your instincts and making a positive change. You've made a choice that is right because you made it and presumably you want the best for your whole family. Politely tell your family to fuck off with their opinions.

Locotion · 07/03/2018 03:33

Also definitely keep your job in case you need to become a single parent in the future......

Labradoodliedoodoo · 07/03/2018 04:18

Ask your DH to look after the baby a couple of days

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/03/2018 04:34

Just because you gave birth to your ds, it doesn’t follow that you are full time responsible for him 24/7 365 days a year. If you’re not happy being a Sahm, you’re much better going back to work. He will be far happier if you’re fulifilled and happy the times when you spend together. You’ve really got a pretty good work/life balance imo. Working 3 days, with your ds for 4 and you can go and have a look at him through the window whenever you go for a wander around the office.

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