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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to smash the Xbox?

77 replies

Polkadot1974 · 06/03/2018 21:28

Saw a link on FB earlier via a friend asking about Fortnite. This game is like Mumsnet to my son. Highly addictive and he has become so moody
How to restrict it without tears/ sledgehammer is my plan by weekend before I parachute myself to a remote island

OP posts:

MyKingdomForBrie · 07/03/2018 09:26

peanut you can see it that way but I don’t because of the little drone that zaps you. Either way my point was having seen a lot of first person shooters this one isn’t graphic in the violence aspect.

JaneJeffer · 07/03/2018 09:37

DS shouts "there's someone there" and I'm thinking oh not visitors and then realise it's Fortnite again

JaneJeffer · 07/03/2018 09:38

Here not there!

ReanimatedSGB · 07/03/2018 09:41

Try just letting them play as much as they want. All the whining and handwringing and imposition of rules just make the games more appealing, not less. Video gaming is fun, and teaches the sort of skills kids will need in the future.

Taffeta · 07/03/2018 09:45

We’ve had a nightmare with Fortnite as well. DS (14) was happy to play in FIFA for years til this stupid game landed amongst his friends.

For the first month or so thought it was nice he was chatting to his friends so much.

Then he got addicted. Big style.

We tried a router ban 6-8pm weekdays. We tried restricting it to when others were on it only. We tried a one hour time limit. He kept saying that his friends had no restrictions on how often they used it.

His behaviour deteriorated.

Then we found out one friend has a one hour limit and another has a weekday ban.

We introduced a weekday ban yesterday and he looked ILL. He literally had cold turkey symptoms. Cold, shivering, withdrawn, depressed.

I’ve removed the XBox completely - he may get it back at the weekend.

Fucking awful.

Peanutbuttercheese · 07/03/2018 10:25

I agree that it's not as gory, PUBG is very graphic and same principle but a much harder game.

Even though I'm a gamer of over thirty years I did remove my DS Xbox at one point due to addiction and not revising for exams enough. His father took it all to work.

Afreshcuppateaplease · 07/03/2018 10:33

Omg same here

2 ds and dp

I hate fortnite
I hate the fucking floss

LadyLoveYourWhat · 07/03/2018 11:01

Google XBox parental controls, if I remember right you can set a total amount of time per day and/or timeslots, e.g. only between 4pm and 6pm.

It's much easier when the "computer says no" rather than you and everyone knows what the rules are and they stay consistent.

Mulberry72 · 07/03/2018 11:13

My DS(11) plays Fortnite. Before Christmas we had the Xbox in the living room but DH & I got fed up of it so we bought him a TV for his room and moved the Xbox up there.

We’re strict with Xbox use, 1 hour a day, but we found that he was sneaking off to his bedroom and playing on the Xbox. So, after a few disagreements and us telling him that his sport was suffering because of the Xbox (it was), we moved it back downstairs at his request.

We’re still strict with the hour, but he’s much happier and back on top with his sport too.

araiwa · 07/03/2018 11:20

As long as homework/chores are done and theyre not staying up past bedtime, why are people so adamant about stopping children doing things they enjoy with their friends? It only seems to be a problem if its computer games

CadyHeron · 07/03/2018 12:03

As long as homework/chores are done and theyre not staying up past bedtime, why are people so adamant about stopping children doing things they enjoy with their friends?

Do you have kids of your own that turn into bloody nightmares on the Xbox? I don't know what it is about the Xbox, but it's like crack or something to mine.
They are utter, utter nightmares on it. HATE Fortnite with a passion.
You can never just leave a game so if it's time for tea, they can't turn it off and come and get it apparently.
Youngest literally has massive tantrums when he has to come off. (Left to self regulate they'd just be on all day - screw homework/actually doing anything else as well)
The online aspect I don't like either - not impressed that you can talk to other people in the game via party aspects or whatever it is.
Which is another reason I'm apparently "tight" - no, I'm not getting headphones for them as I want to monitor exactly who's on there talking to them and the Xbox stays in the family living room! How is it safety conscious letting them speak to just anybody in their headphones/games? At least with no microphone they can't talk back to people...

Tamingoftheglue · 07/03/2018 12:55

This game is causing me such a lot of hassle too. I should add that nobody in this house actually plays it. But there lies the problem with our 10 year old. All his friends are playing it, he doesn't really know what it is, he's sick of being left out etc etc.
We don't have an Xbox or a ps4. We do have other consoles, tablets and a pc but that isn't good enough and we are the shittest parents ever to have existed obviously.

BonfiresOfInsanity · 07/03/2018 12:59

I have 2 DSs addicted to Fortnite. I also hate it, I'm amazed that they have any friends left as they seem to just scream at each other over the headphones but apparently 'everyone dos it'. It's impossible to get them off there without being really hard faced about it and they are always grumpy and moody. And they don't even play it that much! Their friends seem to be on it all the time and I hate to think how they are behaving at home when I see what an hour of it does to my two!

BonfiresOfInsanity · 07/03/2018 13:06

kelper my DS has PUBG but doesn't play it as apparently no-one on Xbox has it. His cousin plays it on PC and thinks it's the best thing since sliced bread (not his words ) and that Fortnite is lame.

ReanimatedSGB · 07/03/2018 14:40

Ariwa: because a lot of 'normal' people, who prioritize 'normality' don't like or understand computer games and are broadly uncomfortable with the idea of pleasure and enjoyment. (These are also people who are often uncomfortable with high intelligence, I have found - 40-50 years ago they would be shouting at their DC to 'get your nose out of that book'.)

Stumbleine · 07/03/2018 14:44

It would seem so many of us are having issues with dc and this game at the moment! In fact - someone on my Facebook shared a link to a this morning discussion about it yesterday.

We have always imposed screen time limits on our house, or else ds would be a husk rocking in the corner right now. All pretty standard until Fortnite came along. It got to the point where I decided weekends only were the way to go. Well...it was like another poster up thread described - an addict going cold turkey. A bereavement. We had shouting, sobbing, throwing things, swearing, hiding under the duvet alternating between anger and devastation for hours.

He is currently banned completely due to appalling behaviour. The aggressive episodes have been truly disturbing lately. For context, ds is generally a kind, sensitive and trouble free boy. He just can not handle the over stimulating and addictive nature of such games. It's just so bloody difficult to know what to do for the best when it seems to be their favourite thing and all of their friends are playing.

TheQueef · 07/03/2018 14:47

This is how games have evolved.
If it's something you hate you need to be hard now.

A quick look at it would show you it's a much more mainstream hobby than some realise. There are professional leagues and famous teams etc so in a way it's no different to following Liverpool fc and having a kick about at the weekend. There is good money in pro-gaming.

There will be more interaction and mmo so if that worries you restrict dc groups to friends only to restrict who they hear or talk to.

Stumbleine · 07/03/2018 14:52

ReanimatedSGB - what a ridiculous comparison to make re books! I have yet to meet an avid reader who feels compelled to verbally abuse and rant at a parent when asked to stop reading in order to eat a meal/participate in ANY other activity.

Classic defensive gamer mentality.

Tigresswoods · 07/03/2018 14:56

DS 8 has asked for Fortnite as apparently "everyone" has it. I've resisted so far & reading this thread I feel I am right. Sounds like a nightmare!!

Taffeta · 07/03/2018 15:53

It's just so bloody difficult to know what to do for the best when it seems to be their favourite thing and all of their friends are playing

Indeed. The more I think about it, the more I see my DS displaying really troubling addictive behaviour around this game though, and that’s when it had to go. He’s 14 but unable to handle the addiction so it’s up to us as parents to control it.

QueenOfAccidentalDeathStares · 07/03/2018 15:58

can you remotely log into your router and just block the xbox long enough for him to drop out? then unblock it (or remotely reboot router) then deny all knowledge.

(I may have an evil streak - and no teenagers )

Taffeta · 07/03/2018 16:02

I’m not sure that’s fair. I’d rather have a discussion about addiction so he understands why action is being taken.

AnimalDaze · 07/03/2018 16:20

Youngest literally has massive tantrums when he has to come off.

My only rules are
First hint of a tantrum/moody behaviour and the Xbox goes.
If they start losing interest in their hobbies/activities it goes.
Must be turned off an hour before bed.

Since I've always said what I meant and meant what I've said I've not had any issues, yet anyway, but I wouldn't think twice about removing it from the house if it was causing issues and I've made that crystal clear to my kids. No time limits as such, they know they have homework/chores and they can do them before/after, as long as they're done, they're pretty independent and good at managing their time.

ReanimatedSGB · 07/03/2018 16:28

Meh. I don't even play computer games. I'm just a bit sad for all the kids whose childhoods are being made unnecessarily stressful by silly handwringing parents who believe every bit of bullshit they read in the media about the horrors of 'screen time' and vaguely think their DC should be out digging dens in the woods, despite the fact that the nearest woods are 50 miles away.

Wait till they hit their late teens, then you can keep yourself awake all night wondering if they are having sex, or have had one puff on a joint that was mostly Earl Grey and oregano...

CadyHeron · 07/03/2018 16:31

My only rules are First hint of a tantrum/moody behaviour and the Xbox goes.

That's what I do - he's banned off the Xbox more times than he's on it lately

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