to think that secondary school parents' evenings are a bit ...

[Butchmanda]

.... I dunno - bizarre? pointless? stressful?

Off to the second one I've ever been to - Year 8. Lovely school but just not enough space to hold this kind of speed-dating affair. We're all crammed in, virtually on top of one another, which means you can hear all the other conversations going on around you (I deliberately block it out, but not sure everyone is as discreet).

It's lovely to meet the teachers, put a face to a name etc but, apart from that, I find it not particularly useful. If there was anything difficult to talk about (and, actually, I would quite like a private conversation with some of them, as my son has ASD, and it would be useful), that wouldn't be the place - limited time, too many people, and in front of your own child. I still don't get that last bit - it seems to be the done thing these days - can't remember what it was like in my secondary school days. I know for a fact I didn't have to go as well.

We haven't booked appointments with all the teachers - just the ones teaching core subjects and / or things my son is likely to want to carry on with for GCSE. But DS says some of his friends have booked appointments with everyone.

Above all I feel sorry for the teachers - it must be so stressful.

What are other people's experiences?

This isn't at all a moan and I really respect the teachers (and I wouldn't be in their shoes). Not sure what the alternatives would be?

At my school we have a max of 2 teachers in a classroom to avoid crowding/earwigging. It does mean they have to walk around the school but we give directions and have lifts for those with mobility issues. We are fortunate though to be in a modern building which is all one rather than several buildings as it was when I was at school.

I like meeting parents - it's always interesting and good to put faces to names of you want to make contact again.

However, I am always very well prepared with the child's assessment grades, areas of strength and weakness and advice on how to improve so I hope the conversations are useful to the parents as well as to me.

So nice to hear from teachers about this. Ours is a great school (overlooking the SEN dept which I'm not overly impressed with) and it was nice to see such enthusiastic teachers. You hear so much about the pressures that it's nice to see that there are some schools where perhaps the pressure is less, or the staff are better supported, and the teachers can actually get on with their jobs. Several of them said what an enthusiastic year group they are etc. All said nice things about DS which will make his head swell slightly. Yet now we're home he's grumbling about the homework he has to do for tomorrow and how his teachers are ruining his life, blah, blah, blah ...

Ours are 3pm-6pm. Earlier this year, I managed to squeeze in 43 sets of parents in that time - straight of the back of teaching 5 periods of rambunctious kids in Yrs7-9. No tea or food served at ours, teachers are not well looked after (understatement).

I still love parents evening though. As most of my days are consumed with dealing with negative behaviour, it's a pleasure to tell parents when their children are doing well, being polite, trying hard etc. It really is. Always come home buzzing.

They are rubbish. I’m sure no one knew who DD even was! Much better to let the teachers contact you if there are any concerns.

We had dd's a couple of weeks ago and found it useful. It wasn't too crowded (quite a lot of teachers in the Hall and café, but spread out and other rooms used as well for some subjects) so you couldn't hear other conversations.

The appointments were only scheduled for 5 minutes, but the teachers had dd's current and predicted grades and were able to give us a few suggestions for things that dd can work on. It was nice to put a face to a name for the teachers that we didn't already know. I think that meetings also gave dd a confidence boost. She's doing fine, but there are a couple of subjects that she finds tricky and I was able to let the teachers know so that they could reassure her that she's on track for where she should be.

Absolutely agree with everyone saying it’s nice to talk to the parents of the kids who are doing well. Quite often we lament that the ones you need to see never turn up, but I think it’s easy to forget that kids don’t often let parents that they’ve had merits in class for consistent effort or they’ve completed a piece of work really well. It’s lovely to see parents look so proud (and to see usually gobby teenagers look proud/embarassed!) when you pass that on.

It's an utter free for all. I'm not sure why they even bother with appointments!

I'm a teacher with a year 8 dd and I find her parents' evenings pretty pointless tbh. She's able and very conscientious and I'm pretty confident that she and I know how she's doing. If she were having problems it would be a different matter.

Secondary school parents evening here is 3 minute appointments! I know they have slot to get through but it is like a demented speed dating thing going on. It's crazy, luckily we've so far had no major concerns so we're a quick yep everything great no concerns keep doing what they are doing etc. But I can imagine if there are issues to talk about it would be somewhat rushed and therefore pointless

DD is year 9, we’ve had 5 so far. They’re always Thursdays when she has a club 6.30-7.30 so we have a choice of early appointments meaning only can go, or later so DH can go but DD misses her club. Mostly I go. Her presence isn’t mandated BUT I take her because (1) I’m not very pushy so could easily miss my slot if the teacher is running late, DD’s presence enables the teacher to recognise HER and repel queue jumpers in favour of DD and me and (2) getting things straight from teachers with DD right there pits paid to the ‘yes I do hand my homework in on time’ and ‘no one revises for tests’ nonsense. For a while, at least.

So they’re rather hellish for an introvert, but worth it. I would have no direct contact with the school otherwise. It’s good to hear when DD’s doing well (she’s managed to schedule the best subjects last for the last two parents’ evenings) and useful to hear if she’s slacking off at a level that doesn’t warrant letters home. Plus it’s interesting to meet the teachers, albeit briefly, and to hear about the GCSE courses for next year.