To want to mark my sons 6th birthday

[twinklz]

Hi all,

I have asked my son what he would like to do for his 6th birthday and everything that I have offered he has said no to.

I’ve offered a family party - friends party - day out somewhere etc but nope...

Anyone else’s DC like this and if son what did you do?

Thanks

Jesus that's a tough one. Have you asked what he would like to do? I take it you have and he has said he doesn't know. What does he like normally?

What are his reasons for saying no?

How do you think he would feel if you planned a family bowling trip on his birthday or the weekend nearest? Then it wouldn’t technically be his birthday party, but you could all get together and have fun. Maybe pizza afterwards.

What did he say he did want to do?

Thanks both- he didn’t give any reason for saying no, it’s like trying to get blood from a
Stone lol.

Might be worth trying a different day?

My first (a boy) was like this. We just had a normal family supper with a cake for his birthdays when he was little. That's still all he wants to do now, and he's a student. I'm jolly grateful, compared to the ridiculous plans my others have tried to come up with for their birthdays (limousines, marquees, nightclubs, spa weekends, parties for 90 people, and other such nonsense)

That sounds nice Athena

Instead of asking him, would it be better just to present him with a plan?

"DS, on X day next week we're going to Y for tea/we're going bowling/Granny & Grandad are coming to tea/etc"

If you've previously been saying "Would you like to..?" this can work.

If he then says he doesn't want to do your plan then say OK, but sometimes it's the pressure of deciding and too many choices they don't like, so if you plan something he usually enjoys just keep it a bit low-key, but with cake

We also have a birthday breakfast with the table all laid as a surprise the night before with balloons etc and special stuff to eat - would that work?

twinklz, it was. DS could never have articulated why he didn't want a big fuss made; it was just the way he was/is. He wouldn't even have been happy with a birthday breakfast table (whereas the others would regard that as merely the aperitif to an entire week of birthday-related things. One of them once had a very tedious "birthday" which did go on for about seven days, by the time we'd had a party in the garden, a birthday meal with grandparents, tea with Special Friends on her actual birthday, etc, etc, etc). On a couple of occasions, we had one set of grandparents for lunch for DS's birthday - but, again, it was just a normal lunch but with cake.

Nosquirrels - I will try that, thanks for the suggestion 🙂

Athena-thanks for your reply. The main thing is that your son was/is happy on his birthday 🙂

As for the 7 days of celebrating, do you mean they did different things with family and friends over 7 days?

Also love the idea of the breakfast table 🙂

How about a picnic on the lounge floor with all his fave food cake and a dvd? Keep it simple and cozy.

Theresa-That’s a nice idea

We're taking my DS to London for his 6th birthday to do some things of his choice. I was delighted he said he would rather do this than have a party . Is there something your DS would really like to do as a treat?

Sum- have a great time in London! Out of curiosity, Will you be having any family over too?

Twinklz re the 7-day-Birthday: there was a big party for her whole class (in our garden) and their parents, who all seemed to stay . Then there was a meal the following weekend involving grandparents. Then Best Friends after school on her actual birthday. All in all, it dragged on for two weekends and mid-week (her b'day was mid-week) one way or another. Thank goodness they are all different.

Please do nt make your son celebrate his birthday if he doesn’t want to, perhaps he does nt like being the centre of attention, or does n’t feel it’s significant event,

Thanks, twinklz! No, will just be the three of us. We might let my mum stay for dinner as she's looking after the baby for the day

Athena-I see what you mean now.

Northern - you may be right that he may not like being the centre of attention.

Sum- sounds lovely enjoy 🙂

I I was wondering if this was common?

Twinklz, I wouldn't spend any time wondering if it was common. All children are different, and there's nothing to be gained from wondering how they measure up to some 'norm'. What matters is that your DS enjoys his birthday in a way that suits him, however, low (or high) key it might be.

My DD doesn't like parties, she doesn't want one for her own birthday and declines invitations to ones where too many people would be going. Her last few birthdays have been very low key, basically a usual day but with cake! Sometimes near the day she relents slightly and we'll have a couple of friends over.

We have now give our DD’s a choice, a party or day out somewhere and they have both decided that they would rather have days out. They are 8 and almost 6.

Athena - ok thanks you’re right

Beamur -thanks

Bumbumtaloo - thanks

I think it’s fairly commen.

My second ds was like this and didn’t like the attention. My dds and ds1 snd 3 only need a birthday excuse to know the world revolves around them

Theresa - haha