To think it's weird that SIL never gets my DC a birthday present?

[AjasLipstick]

SIl is in her 40s and has a child of her own. She lives with MIL who provides her with free accommodation and childcare. She works part time and has no expenses other than her and my nephew's clothing and food.

We always buy her son a present...he's 6 and my DC are 10 and 13. DD had her birthday tea yesterday to which MIL and FIL came along with SIL and her son and a few close friends.

Everyone brought DD a little present...nothing extravagant...just nice craft things etc. SIL, once again arrived empty handed...ate food and then went home.

We took her son a gift a few weeks ago for his birthday....why does she do this?

I'm not going to say anything or stop asking her....I'm genuinely curious. DD hasn't ever mentioned it either so I'm not bothered as such....just a bit because it's such an obvious flouting of "the norm' and tradition.

She's going to have a shock when your PIL are no longer around to pay her living costs.

It sounds like she doesn't want to pay for anything, so not getting your children even a card, is just an extension of that. Your PIL should have encouraged her to stand on her own two feet, using tough love if necessary. They've not done her any favours.

I wouldn't stop giving your DN gifts, it's not his fault his mum's useless, but you should stop buying things for your SIL.

We buy for my brother and sister in laws three kids and send them presents and cards on their birthday. We have one child and he doesn't even get a birthday card.

It's strange. She's a freeloader. I recently met a couple like this and it was shocking. I'd ask her next time. And I'd stop buying for her. Buy for your dn and that's it.

We don't buy for my DS and BIL, nor they for us.

We do for each others' children.

It was agreed a couple of years ago though!

I will definitely stop buying her a Christmas gift. She mentioned the one I got her this year more than once as she loved it...and she also made an effort to thank us for DNephews birthday gift...so she seems to appreciate the presents.

It's just really frigging odd! Why would she not spend a fiver on some token?

Holly suggested she can't afford to...but she works three days a week in a well paid job and has NO overheads whatsoever. Only her clothing and Dnephews...and they're not fancy. MIL provides free childcare and pays for all shopping. I know this because MIL told me.