Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To change schools... again

20 replies

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 06/03/2018 09:27

Go easy, I’m Post natal and a bit emotional about this one.

6 year old DS in yr 2. Always been very happy at school, we moved end of last year and he went to a school a bit further away whilst we waited for a space at the local school to come up. He was there from Sep - Dec and was very happy, progressing well, making friends, we liked the school. I think they challenged him and he was always coming out of school with stickers and was excited about the work.

Space came up in local school in Dec and because it’s closer, was supposed to be a good school in a nicer area, much smaller school, we have family there (and in the same class) so could share school runs etc. He seemed ok with moving and I thought he hadn’t really been at school 1 long enough to make real ties there.

3 months in and I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake. He’s really not settled at the new school, isn’t making friends, his behaviour isn’t great and he’s desperate to go back to school 1. I don’t particularly feel comfortable with school 2. Communication hasn’t been great, classrooms aren’t as nice, all after school activities are to be paid for per term which I wasn’t aware of (previously always gone to 2-3 per week and always been free, I had no idea any schools charged for them to be honest) and I just don’t feel that they are really doing very much to integrate him into the class or to challenge him. For example rather than having groups within the class that work at different levels, this school has them all doing the same then if they complete the work early they move on to extension questions which is just more of the same. He’s lost interest in it. Having family there hasn’t really done him any favours in making friends etc because they already have their groups.

Obviously I want to move him back to school 1 and sod the inconvenience but hes just had a new sibling so there’s been a lot of change and you can’t just move your kid every 5 mins because you’ve changed your mind. I’m worried I’d be doing more harm than good to his social skills.

We said we’d review it at Easter but that’s fast approaching and I need to be 100% certain of my decision because they’ll be no changes again if we move a final time. Is it really a no brainer or am I making another bad move by giving him more changes to deal with?

OP posts:
MrsPicklesonSmythe · 06/03/2018 09:29

Shit. Didn’t mean to go on that much! Well done if you read all that

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 06/03/2018 09:34

Have you asked School 1 whether they have a place for him? How far away is it?

It’s not going to be a move in the same way as moving to a completely new school is because he’s already been there so I would think he wouldn’t have a problem for a social or settling point of view.

I know he’s only 6 but have you asked him what he would like (without making it seem like he can go back unless you are absolutely sure there is a space for him)

bluebell34567 · 06/03/2018 09:34

agree with soupdragon.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 06/03/2018 09:37

Yes, I spoke to them before I talked to him about it and they have a space in the same class for him. I’m thinking of calling them today to arrange a meeting with school 1’s teacher to talk about how they’d integrate him back in.

OP posts:
MrsPicklesonSmythe · 06/03/2018 09:38

It’s only an extra mile or so. A short Driving distance rather than a walk. No big deal in the scheme of things.

OP posts:
bluebell34567 · 06/03/2018 09:39

I think its a good idea.

littlemissrain · 06/03/2018 10:10

I'd move him back in your position

Pengggwn · 06/03/2018 10:14

I'd definitely move him.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 06/03/2018 10:18

Thank you. I think I just needed An outsiders perspective. It’s heartbteaking to think your child is unhappy at school but it’s a big decision to make when your hormones are still mental.

OP posts:
Lemonyknickers · 06/03/2018 10:19

I'd move him back as well. I picked an excellent school for DS, it just wasn't excellent for him, moved him twice before he was 7 felt really guilty at the time but final move was the right one, he's so happy and flying there. It also goes up to 16 so shouldn't need to move him again!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 06/03/2018 10:19

Yes I think I would too.

SoupDragon · 06/03/2018 10:19

I would move him back. I suspect after only 3 months he won’t need much in the way of integration.

RandomMess · 06/03/2018 10:25

I'd move him back this week! He'll pick up where he left off as it's not been that long.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 06/03/2018 11:01

I’m so glad everyone has said the same.

OP posts:
ListenToTheWords · 06/03/2018 11:02

Move him back. He's not settled into school 2 and is still pining for the first school. Trust your gut and move him. Flowers

Obi1Kenobi · 06/03/2018 11:06

I agree move him back. He will flourish and your life will be easier too in the long run. You can do shared pickups and drop offs with another parent perhaps and work around the distance. On a lovely day why not walk part way? Park up half way and get out for a bit of sunshine. X

FairiesVsPixies · 06/03/2018 11:10

I agree with the others - move him back to his old school.

Dahlietta · 06/03/2018 11:10

Definitely move him back. It's not just him who prefers school 1 - you do as well. A school you are happy with and your child is happy with is a marvellous thing.

littlepeas · 06/03/2018 11:15

Yes, move him. School is such a huge part of their lives, being happy there is so important and you can change this easily.

steppemum · 06/03/2018 11:15

There was a family at our school who did this 5 kids in the school, moving house to other side of town, lots of goodbyes, all left and started new term at new school.

I think they held on for about 6 months, and then they all came back. I don't know the mum well, but when I sort of said 'nice to see you again' she said they were just not as happy and not doing as well. I think she timed the return so that the oldest went straight on to secondary or something. They may have been there for a year. Our school may have gone over class size in KS2 to let them back as well.

Do it. The things that stand out form your post are less about him settling short term, he will probably settle in the end, and more about the school culture which doesn't sound great and is putting him off eductaion. Move him back to where he was thriving.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page