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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send childminder a mother’s day card?

44 replies

Discusting · 05/03/2018 21:34

From my 16 month old- would it be weird?

He loves her and spends 3 days a week with her. There isn’t a childminders day to send her something but I don’t want to look weird doing it on mother’s day.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 05/03/2018 21:35

Very weird .

Vibe2018 · 05/03/2018 21:36

Nice, but a bit weird maybe. You can give her a card on her birthday or Christmas instead.

Tinkofhousepan · 05/03/2018 21:36

I think it's lovely!

livingthegoodlife · 05/03/2018 21:36

i agree. weird. she is not like a mother to your child.

Sassypants82 · 05/03/2018 21:36

Personally, I don't really think it would be appropriate. Send her a card & tell her how you feel about her, sure, but not a mother's day card.

Snugglywithmycat17 · 05/03/2018 21:36

Very weird. If u think she is great give her a card and gift but not on mother’s day!

DalekDalekDalek · 05/03/2018 21:37

Yes. Weird.

  1. Child minder isn't your DC's mother.
  2. It wouldn't be from your DC, it would be from you.
GlitterGlassEye · 05/03/2018 21:37

Yes, really weird. You pay her to mind your child.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 05/03/2018 21:37

Could you give her something at Easter with a heartfelt card then instead? It is coming up very soon.

Perendinate · 05/03/2018 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DefinatelyNotAPooTroll · 05/03/2018 21:38

Weird weird weird!

Original poster
Discusting · 05/03/2018 21:38

I don’t know when her birthday is but we did a token gift at Christmas.

I thought it was a little weird, won’t bother then!

OP posts:
PerrieGrey · 05/03/2018 21:40

I am a step mother (I don't like the term as I'm not her mother but hey ho) and I would feel weird receiving a Mother's Day card. So yes, definitely weird to give one to a childminder!

My friend gives her childminder a card and gift on National Children's Day and thanks her for helping to raise a well rounded child. I think that's lovely.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 05/03/2018 21:41

I think cards, letters in general are a lovely idea as they can keep them in their portfolios if they have them, keep them to look back on, as evidence of feedback (only if you are willing for that to happen of course). Just maybe not on mother’s day. You have reminded me to get my DC to do nice Easter cards for our amazingly brilliant childminder though so thank you!

SpiceRack · 05/03/2018 21:42

give her a present/card on " national nanny day " it's a day to celebrate nanny's/childminders/people who care for children for families

Shimshiminysheroo · 05/03/2018 21:43

Totally weird.

Figgygal · 05/03/2018 21:43

Very weird!!

SpiceRack · 05/03/2018 21:44

or this

To send childminder a mother’s day card?
DamsonOnThisDress · 05/03/2018 21:44

I wouldn't buy an actual Mother's Day Card but a wee homemade one with finger prints and much glitter (at that age I recall what they lacked in creativity and precision we made up for in glitter) or similar would be a nice gesture. A Have Nice Day or Thank You card rather than Mother's.

I know a lot of childminders and can't imagine any wouldn't find that sweet.

  • Actually don't use glitter unless you hate her. Dreadful stuff.
ThisLittleKitty · 05/03/2018 21:46

Seriously weird. Why did this even come into your head? My kids spend 5 days a week with their teachers it wouldn't even cross my mind to send them a Mother's Day card. EVER.

user1469751309 · 05/03/2018 21:49

Going against the grain here but I think it's a lovely little token but yeah as some suggested maybe a little homemade one from your LO

Original poster
Discusting · 05/03/2018 21:52

I think the relationship with a teacher who has 30 other kids is different to the relationship with a childminder who spends nearly as much time with my son as I do.

However as I said earlier I accept it would be weird and won’t do it. Will make a nice Easter car instead.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 05/03/2018 21:52

It would be very cringe-worthy, even if she provided Care 5/6 days a week.

As said, make a fuss at Easter and then other Holidays.

MagggieMay · 05/03/2018 21:53

Very sweet idea though xx

Skittlesandbeer · 05/03/2018 22:01

Ummm if your childminder is a mother herself, I don’t see it would be weird. It’s a time for celebrating motherhood, it doesn’t have to stop at your own mum?

Even if she isn’t a mum, there are reasons it might be nice to do.

I actually sent cards to everyone (like, 3 people) who had helped me in my mothering role during hard times, when my kid was 3yo. Mothering is hard, and I figured if they were taking on some of the work, they deserved some of the glory! One of these people was a bloke, and he thought it was very funny and touching!

I also send one every year to the therapist who put me back together after birth trauma. Without her, I would certainly have been a very different mother.

I think if you do something nice and thoughtful, it’s very unlikely to be badly received. Sounds like you know,like and trust this childminder. Go with your gut.