Finding the Macmillan cancer ads triggering

[starlightafar]

Before anyone says the obvious I know they aren't funded, I know they do a fantastic job (though I'd argue that hospice care is probably a better investment) but the adverts are horrible.
They are so graphic. I find it so so difficult to watch them, not so much the couples, but the really graphic chemo scenes, losing hair, scars and so on.
My mum died of cancer and some days the memories of it make me feel sick. I can't imagine what it must be like to have cancer/waiting to hear if you have cancer, and having to watch them. I know the point is to shock, as they need the money. But. There isn't any warning and they are incredibly triggering.
Cake sales I am fine with. Head shaving not so much. Let's make ourselves look like people with cancer to raise money for cancer (also triggered by this). I know that's my issue and that obviously is unimportant here.
But the adverts could be less distressing, I think.
Does anyone else feel like it? Or am I being unreasonable (I do know they need money but think the ads could be different)

You aren't the only one who has commented on this thread who has cancer. Take a second to read the thread before slagging everyone else off. I would also like to draw your attention to my first post where I agree with you that the adverts are right to be upsetting. You can't start bitching at an entire group of people just because some of them hold different views to you.
For what it's worth I think you are right we should see people with cancer and if these advert help raise money then fantastic. However that doesn't stop other people from finding it upsetting.

Don'toutmenow
I am incredibly sorry you have cancer. I really am.
I do not have any problem with adverts trying to raise money for cancer. It is a horrible disease.
It is the graphic nature of the ads that is upsetting.
If it were a couple or person with cancer talking about how hard it was, how fantastic their Macmillan nurse has been, that would be ok. It is the 'flashback' nature of it which is hard.
I do wonder given that other people feel as I do, that the reaction to avoid the ad is in fact detrimental as opposed to beneficial.
I don't find people with cancer distressing nor bald heads. I think shaving a head is insensitive but you are right I am unreasonable on that.
I am so sorry for your situation and for if I upset you. That was not my intention. I just wanted to say that cancer affects everyone around it but of course my experience is not in any way as bad as yours or any other cancer sufferer
Apologies.
Macmillan nurses do an amazing job.

I think it's totally understandable to find them triggering OP.

@vampirethriller I am so sorry that your friend passed away but I used to work for Cancer Research U.K. and can categorically say that they do not spend £2000 a day on flowers for head office.

They are triggering but cancer is everywhere (1 in 2 of us) and we need to be more open about it. Those ads and tv programmes are relentlessly grim though and I’m not sure they paint a realistic picture for most people. Also the nurses are depicted as mere head on one side hand-holders which winds me up no end, as most are highly specialist.

Penelope - I assumed she meant £2000 per annum to have fresh flowers every day.

I understand where you’re coming from OP, but you have the option to switch over. I have bastard cancer and I don’t like watching them. DH knows and just changed channels when they come on. But they are there for a reason, and seem to be effective from PPs experiences.

Couldn’t agree more OP I lost my mum to cancer many years ago and my brother more recently. I’m well aware of how horrific the whole process can be! Both times were the worst of my entire life. The trailers, films whatever you’d call them are spot on, but exactly what it achieves is beyond me.
I know for an absolute fact that if my mum and brother were still here, they would find these adverts terribly upsetting. I remember my brother saying he was engrossed in the 2012 olympics...and that was when his cancer had returned. It was a pleasurable release for him...If these adverts had popped up he would’ve been like WTF...I certainly turn off or look away as soon as they come on. I look after myself and know my elder sisters do too, but apart from that it’s down to fate.
The films are clearly upsetting for most people it seems, whether with cancer or not.

Feel grateful you are healthy and go and enjoy your life. I suppose the images on fag packets are distasteful as well?

I am a breast cancer survivor (10 years+) and much prefer those Macmillan ads to the pink fluffy ‘tickled pink’ shit we have every October and all the silly ‘put a heart on your status ‘ or ‘post the colour of your knickers to women friends only’ Facebook rubbish.
Those graphic scary ads are raising awareness and encouraging people to check themselves. They show that cancer is part of life not just of death. More people are surviving all the time and those figures will improve even more if there are fewer ostriches (I was one) amongst us.

Of course it's triggering an emotional response, that's what its supposed to do. Most adverts are either aimed to evoke some kind of feeling, or to get the viewer to think about the product/brand.

My kids have found them extremely upsetting ever since their late father's cancer treatment began, so we watch recorded or downloaded TV and avoid ads. I'm not upset by the graphic detail but I do hate the ads that are framed as a battle against cancer, and referring to survivors. It makes me feel like they're saying DH1 (who was fit, young, otherwise healthy, and very optimistic about his future the whole way through his diagnosis) didn't 'fight' enough and ended up a defeated loser. Fuck everyone who thinks that.

Raising money and awareness is one thing, and if that kind of grief porn is really the most effective way to do it then that's their decision. But my family is already aware, and already doing everything we can wrt donations/volunteering, so the ads aren't aimed at us anyway.

TBH I find the “spend £2 on this stupid unity bracelet” to stand up to cancer adverts more annoying

I hate them. I hated the ones that said at the end that the person had died even more.

I have breast cancer and my children aged 2-15 are dealing with it well. They don't really believe I will die but these bastard adverts put seeds of doubt in their mind.

I have lost 3 people close to me (mother, brother and best friend) in the past 5 years due to cancer. I find the ads uncomfortable to watch, so I mentally tune out. I don't find them offensive though. In my experience they are, compared to the things I have seen, not that graphic. However, what I do find really offensive is the use of cancer as a plot device, especially in soaps. I stopped watching Corrie (after 30 years) when they yet AGAIN introduced a cancer story line (Fizz's kid), and served it up as entertainment. It is all the hushed tones and the 'I/he/she am/is dying you know!' stuff. Well, I have never felt the need (and neither has the cancer sufferer) to constantly harp on about their imminent demise. In fact the common theme to all three was black humour.

DH has cancer. We also watch TV to take our minds off stuff. I change channel when those cancer ads come on. Can't watch them.

I hate the ‘a brother with cancer is still a brother’ type ones. My loved one died and it reminds me that she isn’t here. Though I understand why they need to advertise t does feel they spend too much and the ads are on quite a lot but I guess they have to compete with other charities.

I won’t give to Macmillan as fantastic as their nurses were for us. We did family flowers only and asked other people to donate. When you donate in a loved one’s name, they keep writing to you and use the name. Which I sort of understood despite it being upsetting. Until they sent a Christmas card mentioning my loved one and a Christmas donation. I remember her every day but really didn’t need a major trigger landing on the doormat just before my first Christmas without her. Even after asking to be removed from their list, we still get these.

I loathe these ads having just been through it. It just makes it so scary and there you are being as robust as possible for those around you and then these ads really pull you down and also reinforce lots of fears that the word cancer is an automatic death sentence. It isn't. I know I'm alive partially through medical advances and their funding of that but there are lots of other equally awful diseases out there like heart disease. I think the BHF ads are more effective. I have a friend with a heart condition which has turned her life upside down and essentially invalided her. She could, potentially, drop dead at any moment and is on so many pills that she rattles yet she thinks I've had it worse because I have the big C. I really haven't. Yes, four operations, radio and pills for years but my life is exactly how it was before and nothing has changed for me. II agree, some positivity would be good. Our local hospital has a lovely Macmillan drop in centre. Our breast care nurses are also Macmillan so why not focus on the support available and success in that.

For me at least overly upsetting charity adverts don't work as intended - if I get too upset I don't give them money because I can't bear to be reminded of the advert.

The RSPCA one with a dead kitten was particularly bad for that.

And of course I do understand about cancer. Like many people I've lost more than one family member and friend to it.