To suspend his contact with his daughter ?

[sorryghadtochangeuser]

My dd's father has anger issues . I left him because of Them he was abusive to me despite seeking counselling for his anger .

His relationship has been on and off with our dd now 8 . On occasion he has lost his temper and scared her so much she hasn't wanted to see him and contact has been suspended and then gradually built back up

He pays zero maintenance, has nothing to do with her hobbies or schooling and has never taken her on holiday .

He sees her EOW at best and cancels weekends whenever he has something on .

He is banned from my house as he is so abusive to me . So I usually meet him elsewhere for hand over

Our last handover he started screaming obscenities At me in the street un provoked in front of our DD

Since I have cut all his contact . It has now reached the point he is contacting his parents and sending me abusive texts making out it wasn't a big deal and was aimed at me rather than our DD and how he is worried about my DD's safety because I am a narcissistic parent . Obviously he is the victim in all of his this

I don't know what to do . I don't think dd should be around him at all

We have no official contact order in place it was a private arrangement.

Am I u reasonable for cutting his contact to protect her? He has been like this for 6 years since I left him

April that's been my experience with my dc's school. Their great headmistress said to me that whilst she is well aware that their (abusive pile of shit criminally convicted) father is on their birth certificates, she said she has a safeguarding responsibility for all the children at school and if he ever tried to come on to school property randomly (he did this once) she would boot him off.

OP, Please do stop contact. You are completely within your rights to do so, indeed it is your responsibility to your child that you are taking seriously.

My old boss, a great human and a great solicitor, told me that as primary carer I called the shots, and that if ex was serious he would go to court.

That was over four years ago...still checking on the horizon every now and again for those court papers winging their way to me...not!

Please confide in the school op, they have been a tremendous support to me in the past. If it gets to court their statement can carry clout in your favour also.

April if the father has parental rights, the school cannot stall him to wait for the mother to arrive

They are not meant to but lots and lots will do especially if the parent showing up is agitated hostile or gives them other reason for concern

Contact is for the benefit of the child, not for the benefit of the parents. I can't see any benefit in keeping your child in contact with an abusive man, if anything it's going to be detrimental to her wellbeing.

Block him. Contact the police if he harasses you. Don't give him any advice on contacting the court, if his brain cells can't come up with that, there's no helping him. Protect your dd, you're doing the right thing.

You are not damaging your DD. You are protecting her from an abusive father.

I would absolutely cut contact as allowing her to witness this abuse, let alone risk her being the target of it, is unacceptable.

from the schools point of view if they have a random man turning up demanding a kid, they will want to check out who the man is first, and whether he is allowed to have said kid and is not just some random off the street who read their name in the paper. if school have not met the father then they are not going to know who he is anyway so not going to release child until they know.

Same situation OP. Although I never handed over, I supervised all contact in a public place.

Eventually I cut contact. Then he tried to re-establish contact via a solicitor.

My solicitor was awesome and wrote back a fantastic letter about his violent tendencies, alcohol abuse and drug abuse. But I was lucky as he didn’t have parental responsibility automatically back then.

He left me alone after that. Never paid maintenance before or after.

However, please be careful. He is projecting. Calling you a narcissist and worrying for your DD’s safety. This means he is a narcissist and is a danger to your DD.

Keep everything. Don’t engage. Don’t take this to court. Hopefully he won’t.

Good luck.

Thanks for the advice about the schooling . I haven't done that yet and will do

I've been to a solicitor a few years ago and started drawing up a contact order but he refused to attend mediation so it all died a death . Plus he only wanted a loose EOW

My dd had to stop her ex from seeing my dgd because of his violent behaviour. Fortunately he doesn't have PR, but it sounds like your ex isn't going to bother going to court either. It is terribly sad for dgd and she misses him dreadfully, but she cannot grow up witnessing her mother being abused and being at risk of him starting on her.

I would stop contact then Sorry, does not sound like he will put up a fight. He doesen't sound bothered about her.