To be terrified my ex will be given Residency

[Busybusybee1]

I wrote a post on this matter on 'legal latter's but didn't get any responses so thought I would try here.

In short, my ex wasn't happy that I was moving a short distance away to be nearer my support network and made a prohibited steps order and child arrangements order making a number of completely false allegations including that I am emotionally abusive towards our son, don't attend to his personal care and don't care about his education.
He also stated that he is concerned as I have a family member with learning disabilities who could harm our son.
At the time of the prohibited steps hearing I had already moved and he asked the judge to remove our son from my care and give him interim residence while the concerns were investigated fully. He asked if that was not possible to ask me to return to where I was previously until a final decision was made.

The judge took 5 mins to reject his request and ordered costs be reversed for the day.

My ex is still pursuing residence though and still insisting I'm abusive etc. The CAFCASS report that was done stated that it was to my credit that if made sure to always facilitate contact even in difficult circumstances and that there is no evidence out son is currently at any risk. They noted that my ex had only expressed concerns when he found out I was moving away. He on the other hand was found to have a police history I knew nothing about and the courts have recommended. I contact until the do more research into the allegation they found.

So he's shot himself in the foot!

He has refused to withdraw all allegations made about me despite having no evidence. I'm so worried that he will be given residence and my son will be forced to live with someone he only knows through sparodic fortnightly contact.

How my ex can even want to remove him from my care is beyond me. I think he just doesn't want me to be happy and is doing this to control me. It's nothing to do with residence of our son. He just doesn't want me to be happy.

My barrister told me I've nothing to worry about but I am so so worried. AIBU to think there's a chance they will remove my son from my care? All professionals involved with my son have said positive things about my parenting and we have never been known to social services. His school have no concerns either.

I totally understand and going through similar. Even though rationally I know the idea is absurd the worry is Always there isn't it.

Complete lay person but judges make decisions on the evidence provided by professionals. All the are saying your son should live with you. I can’t see how the judge would say anything different.

honestly from what you have said, no, not at all.
it must be a worry but it sounds like you are on firm ground x

Why on earth do you think that he will be given residence? There is no reason for that to happen at all. Cafcass recommendations are taken wholly on board by the court in my experience (I am just going through this myself) and certainly my ex-h has got nowhere near what he asked for in terms of contact. He made all sorts of ridiculous allegations as did OW, including making false instructions to solicitors of my "continued harassment" despite the fact they simply weren't true. They just wanted letters to produce to make me look bad. Didn't work. They also went to the police and that didn't work either. There is no grounds whatsoever for your son to be removed from you. Listen to your barrister! I know it's frightening and stressful, but your ex's claims are groundless and I am absolutely sure you have nothing to worry about. You are, however, correct that it is all about control. Good luck OP!

Judges have seen his type many many times before. They will look at the facts presented and make a judgement based on that information. His ramblings won’t sway the judge.

I'm not an expert, but I've been through the family court before and I've picked up a thing or two.

Generally speaking it is very difficult (nearly impossible) to overturn an established residence situation. The only real way to do it is with serious, proven child protection issues. If Childrens Services aren't involved and on his side, and have not been for some time he basically has no hope.

Your position is inherently strong, and his is inherently weak. The best he might do is get an increased level of contact, but it sounds fairly unlikely he'd bother taking it up.

Thanks everyone. I hope you're right.

Professional working in the area. If your ex's allegations have been refuted and concerns raised about him he has zero chance of overturning established residence of your child. Of course you are worried though. It may be worth speaking to your barrister about your concerns and whether she thinks it would be possible to prevent him making further applications to the court for a period (this can be done but is considered a draconian measure) if it appears he will continue to make allegations or repeated court applications. This is unlikely if he has only made the one application so far though.

Why do you jump to the assumption that he only wants his child living with him to get back at you and not because he loves his child.

If the sexes were reversed in this situation then the advice would be to get the child and not allow contact.

Isn't it only natural to be more concerned as you were moving closer to this person that your ex says he's worried about and that he will be less able to keep an eye on what's happening?

What makes you a more suitable parent than him? Do you work? Does he? Where is your child whilst you do work?

totbrowser what are you on?
Why would the advice be that the parent should go get the child if roles were reversed? In what planet does this happen:

"Hi I'm a parent who's got a police history so concerning that professionals have advised that I should not contact with my child. But I'd like them to live with me. What shall I do mumsnet."
"Holy shit go get that child from the other parent the professionals say is doing a perfectly good job, and don't allow contact."

Nope, that ain't happening?

And what makes OP a better parent? Well obviously we don't know details but:

1. Dragging a child through an unnecessary court process based on false allegations is considered quite abusive.
2. Professionals have said so
3. It is recommended the other parent shouldn't even be allowed to see the child right now.

OP you have nothing to worry about. The judge will review the evidence from CAFCASS and go with that.